Worst way to be found dead?

Notwithstanding the fact that you are dead and probably neither know nor care how you were found, or by whom… what is the worst way you can think of to be found dead?

Mine would be on the toilet.
In the middle of a bowel movement.
At work.

…I meant for this to be in IMHO. Sorry about that.

In bed dead of Autoerotic asphexeation (spelling?!?!?) while humping a Love Ewe (inflatable sheep)

Great, now I see your location as “Right past the ewes”.

at the bottom of the mayonaisse jar…

I hear it’s with dirty underpants on.

I think that fellow who choked to death in a hotel bed while chewing the calluses off of his feet is in the running.

In a barn with your pants around your ankles.

Heh. My dad worked for an insurance company. There was an autoerotic claim that involved saran wrap and a fatal peanut butter blow job. Tragic.

Not another tragic, needless saran wrap peanut butter blow job related death . . .

When will they learn?

I’d say on the toilet in mid-bowel… with a syringe in your arm.

I blame video games

And assuming the deceased is male, wearing women’s lingerie.

*Corrected spelling.

:confused:
“You got your cocklate in my peanut butter”
“No, you got your peanut butter on my cocklate!”

Kalhoun Buh huh? Saran wrap and peanut butter, how? Don’t leave me hanging, or is that part of it? On second thought, maybe I want the details of this left fuzzy…

“Mine would be on the toilet.
In the middle of a bowel movement.
At work.”

IIRC, Catherine the Great, Judy Garland, and Elvis were all found in this exact situation (though not at work).

Which just goes to show:

Straining to complete a bowel movement tends to raise one’s blood pressure. Thus, those that are weak-of-heart die in that circumstance more often that one might expect.

In addition to all that’s been suggested, let’s add: With a somewhat sticky photograph of one’s mother in hand.

Oh, and being found on the toilet in mid-movement wouldn’t be nearly as bad as being found dead atop a co-worker’s desk, mid-movement.

I’d guess some moron asked for a BJ and put some peanut butter down there to make things more… uh… as an incentive. Then dopey puts Saran Wrap over his head as an autoerotic asphyxiation thing. A pretty dumb and embarrassing way to die. Props to his wife or whomever for not noticing he’d stopped breathing.

I’d say dying while attacking a big bag of Cheetos would be a bad way to go. I also agree with Sengkelat that if you die during a bowel movement, being on the toilet is actually the best place you can be.

Actually, the details ARE a bit fuzzy all these year later. I think the saran wrapped partner passed out and didn’t notice peanut butter guy was choking. But I could be wrong.

My goal in life is to share the horrifying mental images I have with the world.