You won’t get an argument from me. I don’t have one, but if I ever went the two-seater route, that’s the car I would consider.
One word: Thundercougarfalconbird
You must, repeat must, wear camos and go commando when driving that minivan. If you don’t, they may review your security clearance. Oh…no bottled water, drink from your cupped hands if you must.
Is it more heterosexual to be riding in a car that physically embodies femininity or one that physically embodies masculinity?
Hmmm …
You have no idea what it’s like to cruse up highway 1 (the Coast highway), on a warm summer day, with the top of your Mustang convertible down. Living in the convertible capital of the world, (SoCal) they are literally everywhere.
In fact, my other car is a Lexus ES350, and I refuse to drive it, it’s just too boring.
It’s like wearing a pink shirt. Only a real man can drive a gay car.
This. I’ve been a gearhead since before I could drive, hang out with like-minded guys all the time at car and motorcycle shows, various related forums online, etc. This is the first I’m hearing of hatchbacks being “gay” and until recently it was a pretty common topic. (Even comments about the Miata have tapered off.)
there’s also the “hot hatch” segment where (presumably) non-gay guys shell out more money for hatchback cars like the VW GTI, Ford Focus ST and Fiesta ST, Mazdaspeed 3, etc. The hatchback (“5 door” in automaker lingo) usually has a stiffer body structure than the sedan, thus more rigid for better handling.
I’ve got an '89 manual, before they got fatter, and on a narrow winding hill road, they are the tits: not the fastest thing in a straight line, sure, but they were built for lightness and handling, not raw speed, and shifting one through the corners as it sticks to the road* like it’s on rails is pure driving joy.
*mostly. I’ve written one off.
Well that and the 403 cubic inch option.
Straight male here…
Daily driver, 2007 VW Rabbit (Golf Mk. V)
I chose the hatchback for utility and versatility, with the rear seats down (or as I call it, TruckMode) it’s like a micro-van, the Golf platform must have originally been designed on Galifrey, as it’s clearly Bigger On the Inside…
Other reasons I love this car;
It handles brilliantly, carves turns, is unstoppable in the snow, and it has the 2.5 liter FIVE cylinder engine, it sounds remarkably like a baby Lamborghini under hard acceleration, a nice baritone trumpety growl, it’s not some whiny little high revving four-banger, it makes all its torque down low
150 HP, 170 TQ
The cool thing about the inline five is that you always have at least 1 to 1.5 Pistons on a power stroke at all times, unlike a 4 cyl, a 5 cyl has a 135 degree overlap (dead spot between Pistons), a 4 has 180 degrees of overlap, there are times when no Pistons are producing power in a 4 cyl, not so with a 5.
White wine maybe? Sorry - Robot Chicken flashback. But I’m much better now.
That’s what he side as he bent me over the trunk. 
A Story Of Self-discovery
To start off my own story, I’ll use that common cliche: I always knew I was different. Born into a very conservative Baptist-Christian family, I was a highly sheltered child. Whatever programs on TV I’d watch were monitored by my mother, and my family worked hard to instill a strong moral compass in me, as well as my older brother.
My grandfather was a strong figure in my life, especially throughout my childhood. He was also a strong-blooded preacher, inventor and a professional procrastinator. He became the central male figure in my life, because my own father turned out to be the type of man I’d grow to despise - but that’s another issue entirely.
Around my late childhood, when I was about 12 or so. . . I began to feel more and more like there was something different about me. It was a very vague sensation, one that I could never quite put my finger on. I always knew that one day I’d want to have a car. Oh, sure, I was no stranger to how things were supposed to be in that type of situation; One man, one 4 door sedan right? I was told time and again that anything that differed was immoral and wrong: a mortal sin. This was something I fully believed, and something that lead to futures years of self-loathing.
As a young teenager, I’d tried various rides - but as I began to grow and deal with the changes in my life, I became much more of an introvert, and as such, began to learn who I was much more intimately. It was soon after the self loathing and fear began.
Sure, I found myself admiring the beauty of sedans, fantasizing about the perfect one for me - like any other teenage boy. . . . But then there was the strange fascination I began to harbor for the 2 door cars. At first, it seemed like nothing more than curiosity(I was a growing, insecure teenage boy after all) it gradually became more than that.
My curiosity almost seemed to become a secret obsession, and before I knew it, I discovered hatchbacks. (Well, actually a friend of my brother’s pretty much took me for my first spin in one.). This new vehicle was strange and exciting for a sheltered boy like me - the most I’d ever seen of a 2 door hatchback in my town was in magazines like Life where they showed some Italian cars with female movie stars, so you can imagine how transfixed I’d become.
Even though I found the sedans plenty attractive(well. . .sSome of them.) I was still fixated on the hatchbacks. . . this started to become routine. So then I discovered this material was on the internet, and that’s when I found out(by accident) there were websites solely devoted to hatchbacks. That’s when the fear started. I knew I wanted to see it - but everything I thought I knew, everything I’d ever been told was saying it was wrong. I gave in to the desires any way and hated myself for it immediately.
Whenever the ‘deed’ was done, I’d be a total wreck. I’d cry. I’d pray. I’d plead with God for forgiveness that I’d let myself become so weak as to let myself be lured into something so sinful. As the time passed, I tried to take comfort in the fact it was just a ‘phase’ I was going through. It happened to many people, right? The curiosity of wanting to know yourself.
Still more time passed through tumultuous years as my family life deteriorated thanks to addiction. I was left with nowhere to turn, with no one to comfort me. I fell into a deep depression I kept hidden from everyone - even my grandparents, and they were the ones trying to give me the attention and care I lacked at home.
It was during this time I tried to ‘pray the hatchback away’. . . and each time I’d pray, I’d swear to never think of another 2 door. Each time I knew I couldn’t keep my end of the deal. Something deep within me knew something I dared not admit.
As things with my family life became less unstable, I began to find more confidence in myself - and a very special friend came into my life. She’s the only person I’ve ever told my most deep dark secrets to - and she’s the one who helped me learn to accept myself. I was 17 when I realized who I actually was. I was a young hatchback loving man.
I’m not much older now, but as a 20 year old young man with great ambitions in life, I see no choice in my near future but to stay closeted. My heart goes out to anyone else who’s shared a similar experience.
Really? I hated the way the PT Cruiser looked from the first day. It reminded me of a half-assed effort to replicate the cars that gangsters would drive in noir movies.
yes, really. it kicked off the “retro” fad along with the Prowler, and led to the 2005 Mustang, 2003 Thunderbird, Chevy HHR and SS-R, VW New Beetle, the 2001 Mini, and so on.
just because you didn’t like it doesn’t mean anything to the hell of a lot of people who did.
Nuh-uh. I drive an uber-masculine, testosterone-laced RAV4, and it’s not a hatchback. Chicks quiver with desire as I drive by.
Just popping in to confirm that, as a bisexual man, my desire for other dudes increases in geometric progression as I approach my Mazdaspeed 3 hatchback. By the time I am in the drivers seat, I am consumed with nothing but thoughts of dick. To enjoy sexual congress with a lady, I generally need to park it at least two to three states over.
You are warned.
It might have help kick off the retro fad among US carmakers, but it was already in full swing elsewhere when the PT Cruiser arrived.
The (BMW) Mini was in development from the mid-90s, and looked more or less the same up to its introduction in 2001. The New Beetle came out in 1997, and the first concept had been shown in '94. The Jag S-Type and Rover 75 were designed in 1995 and came out in '98.
The genesis of the PT Cruiser was the '99 Plymouth Pronto Cruizer concept.
The Prowler debuted much earlier - the concept car was shown in '93. If anything, all the credit should go to it. God, I wanted one badly (though I heard they were terrible to drive.) Or all the blame; the Thunderbird was one of the ugliest cars of all time.
But if he doesn’t get a car with a backup camera, I may be able to speed past him on the way out of a parking lot. Me, a middle aged woman (possibly old enough to be his mom) driving a Subaru Outback with two car seats in it.
Come to the dark side, OP. We have cars with backup cameras, and you will like them. We have cookies, too, at least sometimes.