Most likely an unmarked white van with no windows.
Actually, I think they can.
I should have added something:
“Creepy, and people will take screenshots and show their friends so everyone can talk about how creepy it is…”
So, wait, that wasn’t the point of the ad? I don’t know the OP, but I assume it’s either self-aware parody or just “playing dumb” for us and his amusement. In the slim-to-nil chance it isn’t, yes, of course it’s creepy and weird. I wouldn’t be surprised if it draws a response, though. I’d advise the OP to put the ad up verbatim and post results to us. That might be an entertaining thread.
This is a guy who didn’t understand what “respect” meant with regards to his then-girlfriend (or wife?). When he called her names like “poop-bird” and “stone-butt” she said it made her really unhappy, but he didn’t understand that giving her respect would have meant “Stop calling her names”.
So…I’m pretty sure that it’s not a joke or parody.
I vote creepy to the point that I would never ever want to interact with you in any context
It’s creepy, but that’s ok. I’d much rather see this upfront than find out about it later.
I gotta show the OP to my wife tonight. I can’t wait to hear what she’ll say about it. :eek: 
If it is a parody … consider me wooshed. 
See, I’m not familiar with the OP, except just encountering him in an English food where he seemed to have thought hummus was some kind of British foodstuff made of lamb (which a poster later noted was probably describing haggis.) So, I just interpret that as intentional/feigned ignorance. I’ve know a couple people like this in real life who know full well what they’re talking about and just play dumb for their own amusement or attention (and I personally think Karl Pilkington falls into this category.) I’ve me plenty of legitimately clueless and stupid people, but this just doesn’t pass the sniff test for me.
Why specify both? If he can’t be alive, he obviously can’t be in prison…
Or a series of corpses.
Your wife would be so happy to have you as partner that you both will have an awesome evening? 
I showed it to my husband and he thought it was a joke. But all I could think was “Wait, isn’t he the guy with something weird about chickens?”
Looks like he forgot to specify must be willing to let me fart in her face.
Wait, he wants her to already have kids too? After reading the “special chickens” thread, I’m really afraid to ask what he wants them for. And is there special charcoal involved.
I think for the safety of the community, Superhal should consider tattooing this ad on an easily visible part of his body.
I realized I forgot to vote: Creepy.
Wait a sec. I just realized that I mix up Superhal and Hal Briston in my head. Sorry, Hal.
The first and last ones are kinda funny, but the rest are creepy. It’s very strange to require kids and puts off a pedo vibe. It’s weird to have a specific upper value for weight or to have rules about parental fitness. (I get the idea, but it’s weird.) Specifically wanting a deaf person makes it sound like you get off on their disability. And throwing in serial killers is hella creepy in pretty much any situation.
If the OP added this to the ad then I think it will be perfect and he will find many loveley deafs to love him long time.
Not sure how that will play at the wedding, but the reception should be good…
Oh, you’ve had your fun. But when they come to haul you away, I won’t help you! I’ll even point you out!
I wonder whatever happened with the chickens and if they were any good after being frozen for all that time. (My guess – no)