A friend of mine is trying internet dating. Recently, he has met a lady he liked and they were chatting online for weeks, having interesting conversations. Then she tells him an anecdote that’s supposed to be amusing-- about how she sucked up her child’s pet hamster into the vacuum on purpose, to see what would happen. It died, of course. Isn’t that hilarious?
My friend is somewhat horrified by this story and her blase joking attitude about it. He is considering breaking off the communication they had, which was getting to the point that they were thinking about a plan to meet.
What would you do? You like a girl, she tells you story about killing an animal out of curiosity, in a flippant way… are you squicked out? Would you keep talking to her? Or is this a “run away!” situation?
My advice to him was to flee, but he doesn’t want to overreact, so maybe a wider prespective would clarify the situation. What do you think?
The animal cruelty is pretty bad. But how on earth can a woman do that to her child? Children develop really strong attachments to their pets. Was her curiosity worth upsetting (or traumatizing depending on the kid’s disposition/age) her own child? Jesus.
…Ew.
She really sucked a cute li’l hamster up into a vaccuum cleaner? What the hell did she tell her son?.. I want to break up with her, and I’m not even dating her. Run. Run and never look back.
I’m not sure about telling her why. On one hand, she should know how awful she is. On the other hand, she’ll refrain from telling that story to others who may then find out the hard way.
Wait! What are the chances that your friend could build a really big vacuum cleaner, and then take it with him when he goes to meet her? (He’d have to promise to really suck up to her.)
That is pretty disturbing to me - especially that she doesn’t feel remorseful about it and thinks it’s funny. Seems like a little red flag that, looking back on it later on in the relationship, he might realize was a big warning sign.
I would consider it a dealbreaker. One of the things I love about my boyfriend is that he is an animal lover and treats them kindly.
Definitely, if the situation went down just like you said, the chick is troubled, no doubt about it. There’s no doubt in my mind that people who regard animals with that kind of horrible detachment are going to have problems with the bi-pedal, newspaper-reading animals as well.
Not endorsing the use of household appliances to get wild with small animals and torment child with relationship to same; is it for sure this is not total bullshit?
I love animals and I think that’s creepy and depressing and I would not want to be casual friends, let alone date, someone who did that.
Given, however, that the previous conversations have been positive and interesting, I would allow for the slim possibility that maybe … the hamster incident was more of an accident … and it somehow got awkward and weird in the retelling. Perhaps the poor little guy got sucked up by mistake, and then the women thought that it made her seem dumb… Okay, this is a stretch, but since your friend previously liked her, I say he might give her a chance to explain further.
Then he can run far, far away from Hamster Killer.
It depends a bit on the context. If these are rural folks who’ve been killing & eating their livestock for years, that’s a very different thing from typical suburbanites who avert their eyes at the sight of roadkill (IMO most of the previous posters).
Recent ex-military also have a more cavalier attitude towards minor violence. Ditto women who play in weekend rugby leagues or box.
If she was rural, etc., and she was kidding I wouldn’'t worry.
BUT …
If she was serious, and she isn’t rural, ex-miitary, etc., that’s a warning flag.
Of course if she’s a empathy-free psychopath, you’re free to treat her the same way in reverse. Sometimes mutual abusive expoitation can be fun. It also takes two weirdos out of circulation so the rest of us don’t have to deal with them while looking for someone more mainstream.
Just don’t buy her a chainsaw and handcuffs for her birthday.