Would they be considered dumb and slutty?
They wouldn’t tell anyone, probably. Neither of them, Dutch boys lack the hunting instinct, and don’t really brag.
But it would be indicative of having a bad relationship with your parents. If they told their friends, their response would probably be: "But why? Are your parents too strict or don’t they like him/her? " Friends might worry.
if the teenager did this more often, and had a circle that did likewise, yes, such a girl would be considered slutty. In the sense that she would sleep with a boy who would not think her worth the effort of meeting her family. A boy who did likewise would be considered a player by his player friends and like a liar, or a male slut, or a problem case by his better raised peers.
One final question: Is this only for the initial time they have sex? If a teenager was to lose their virginity at age 16, for example, would they be “free” to have sex without the whole parental angle from there on out with a new partner? Or would there be an expectation to do all this a second/third time until they move out?
Actually, a final-final question: Is this purely for bona fide intercourse? Are you free to have oral sex in the basement or where is the line before you enter the vetting process?
I’m legitimately curious since you brought this whole process up. I’ve heard of it before and it being lauded as a progressive way of sexual education, decreasing pregnancy/STDs, etc but they always brushed over the whole “there’s some socially/culturally wrong with you if you don’t have your parents vet your partner for weeks or months and then set aside a date for you to lose your virginity in a somewhat ceremonial manner” aspect.
Some have it in spades: Joran van der Sloot - Wikipedia
Hmm, my 19 year old son’s girlfriend stayed late at a party at our house, so I asked if she’d like to spend the night. She said, “yes”. So I guess I let my teen’s opposite-sex friend spend the night even if that might mean sex. I’m pretty sure I say yes to a platonic friend.
My best guess is that they had already had sex in other places, and didn’t that night. But I didn’t inquire, and they didn’t offer. I did serve her breakfast. It wasn’t especially awkward. She’s a couple of years older than he is, so I’m sure they didn’t engage in under-age sex that night.
I probably would have reacted differently had they been 15. But I think my actual answer would have depended on the precise circumstances.
I brought my romantic partners home for my parents to meet (and vet.) It seems natural and healthy to me for young adults to do that, assuming they don’t live too far from their parents. Spouses, and even serious partners are basically family, so it’s good for the existing family to meet the new family. Assuming you get along with the existing family, anyway.
As a prerequisite to having sex with them?
How do you define “having sex”? But yes, kinda.
All rules end up being arbitrary.
We discuss rules with our kids and try to explain why we have them, but, in a very few ocassions, the only possible answer is “I say so”.
The “they’ll do it any way” people seem to accept it only with teenage sex.
Stealing my car at 14? They’ll do it anyway. Teach’em how to drive and give’em keys.
We are talking teenagers. Typically, such a kid would be somewhere between 15 and 18 when bringing home the first one. So chances are there will be just one, at most two of such relationships untill the kid moves out at 18.
I think the second one would be vetted much less carefully, and the third one might even encounter some annoyance with the parents at their own kid. “Don’t take up my time with introductions if you’re not serious about the people you bring home”.
After moving out, usually at 18, kids are free to do what they want, and students usually have single rooms so they have the necessary privacy, too.
I’m guessing a bit, as the custom is unspoken, , but I guess the line is for everything that requires clothes to be taken off, and therefore requires a closed door to do it behind. So oral sex would count, too.
Argh! Yes, and it’s worth noting that he grew up on a Caribbean island that is only technically Dutch, and that he committed his final crime in Peru. His Dutch-Dutch friends probably would have told him to "do normaal man"a long time before that. Maybe. Maybe psychopaths just happen. Jorans family have taken their hands off him a long time ago.
Exactly. And it becomes easier if you can trust that the family is sorta obliged to be polite and welcoming to you in return. But they do form an opinion of you and will tell their own kid.
Why do they have to sleep over to spend time together? Have her over for dinner or to do activities or whatever it is kids do with friends these days, but when it’s bed time, send her home.
That’s if they’re older, puberty age, anyway, if they’re like 8 or something it probably doesn’t matter, unless one of the kids has something seriously wrong with them making them sexual at that age.
If I had a kid, no chance in hell. Asexual or not.
Not if there is a possibility of some kids having sex. Either nobody has sex, or everyone has sex. Inclusivity is the name of the game, and no child gets left behind!