I was just at a funeral of a man where his current wife (well, now I guess she’s the current widow) was there along with his ex-wife, the mother of his two daughters. I know it was very important for the two (adult) children to have their mother there with them. The ex-wife’s new husband also attended.
The only reason I can think of NOT to go is if there is a risk of an inappropriate scene between the current spouse and the ex-spouse, or something along those lines. In this scenario, the relationship between current wife and ex-wife was cordial, if a bit impersonal, so it was all good.
Yes, only to make sure he’s dead. Okay, so I’m partially serious. It depends on the ex. For one of them, I’d definitely go and would probably cry like a baby at the funeral too. As for my most recent ex, I’d definitely go too. 'Cept I’d be sure to bring my tap shoes because somebody’s gonna be tap dancing on the deceased’s grave! ::gets jiggy::
I’m the daughter of divorced parents and I thought I’d put MHO in…
If my father did not go to my mother’s funeral because his new wife was insecure or thought it was improper, I’d make damn sure he’d attend his new wife’s funeral–soon. Grrrr.
My brother’s Ex showed up at his funeral, cried and wailed and generally went overboard. My mom and dad thought it was more for show and kinda tacky. She married someone else pretty soon after. Oh well, not that it matters much.
I don’t plan on having an ex anyway, and I’m sure I’ll go first at any rate.
We live in a different country to Mr P’s ex-wife. I’d have serious words with him about spending the money to go ;). If we lived in the same city hmmm, I’m not sure if he would or would not go.
I wouldn’t attend. I might attend if his daughter asked me to but I’d be doing it to support her. I dislike his ex-wife intensely, partly because of the carry-on she did when our son died. She was at my wedding, she was at his funeral and thanks, but I’m over pretending we’re all friends and civil.
I don’t have any exes who it would be a great drama for me to go to the funeral. No strong feeling either way. If Mr P and I were to separate, I’d go to the funeral to support my kids but I have no idea whether I’d do it for myself.
And TBH if I would pay attention to the feelings of my current spouse. Mightn’t do what they wanted but I’d listen to them first.
If my 21 year old daughter from my first marriage wanted me to go with her I would, as would Mr. Adoptamom (the dad that adopted her when the ex abandoned her). We have an excellent relationship with my ex’s family because we felt that it was important to our daughter to have as many roots on her family tree as possible so we worked hard to maintain them. We would only go to the service though.
If my daughter were NOT in the picture I would NOT go. He is a womanizing, drug addict that still doesn’t have his shit together 18+ years later. I’m embarrassed I married him.
It does depend a lot on the circumstances, both past and present. When my dad died, my mother and her husband both went to the funeral. They had been divorced for many years at that point, and both had remarried. I wouldn’t have been upset if she had decided not to go, but she wanted to pay her respects, as she thought he was a good guy even though their marriage didn’t work. I thought it was nice that she thought well of him after all those years.
I’d dance on his grave too, only I’m probably facing 10 to 20 as a result of his death and so couldn’t make the actual funeral.
Sorry that doesn’t help with the initial question.
It would depend on the relationship I had with the person.
The person is dead so they would have no knowledge you were there, then you’re really just doing it for those people attending, and if you didn’t like the person then that makes you two-faced.
If children are involved that’s a different story, but it’s too late to to be nice and pious when they are dead.