Please point to one person in this thread who’s said that. Oh wait. Nobody has. Personally, I would expect a massive fucking blowup and to be personally blamed for the whole thing. But at least she’d be able to make an informed decision about entering into marriage with this fuckwad.
I only hold my piece in private.
Quoted for fucking truth.
I sure hope not.
Here’s what I meant by my QFT:
I think you’re “over-romanticizing the bond you think you have with your friends” because you’re holding them up on the same bizarre “my object of affection can do no wrong” pedestal as teenagers who think they’re in love for the first time. People who think that love is ignoring or denying all the bad things and only acknowledging on the good things don’t understand love; and you don’t understand friendship.
The flip side of the coin is that the more folks stand by and let family disasters take place rather than deal with the issues before they become unmitigable, the better the living for sharks like me.
I’m not saying you won’t still have friends, maybe even some of the same friends, but your glamorous perception that you have some kind of timeless, inviolable blood bond is juvenile delusion. In time, you will see your sophomoric, “bros before ho’s” substitute for an ethos for what it really is. You can have friends, and have good friends without feeling falsely bound to be an accessory to everything they do. Friendship is not a thieve’s guild.
I don’t have a glamorous perception of my friends or the bond that we share. I just wouldn’t betray them to their SOs. Again, you guys are the first I’ve encountered that would (that I know of, of course - but I know plenty of older people who know others who’ve cheated on their SO).
And you never provided me with a definition of “betray”. 
I think I’ve been using the word correctly.
One example would be if a friend expects you to go along with him and keep quiet while he fucks over another innocent person and destroys her life. That person would be betraying you, and you would both be betraying his victim. Informing the victim that she’s being victimized is not a betrayal of your friend because what he’s asking does not fall within any reasonable bounds of expected trust. Friend’s don’t ask friends to passively watch them do grossly unethical things. It’s a betrayal for them to EXPECT it.
While I will agree that no friend should expect another friend to help him do something immoral or unethical, I disagree that keeping quiet is betraying the victim. Betrayal implies a violation of trust; if you don’t know the victim, there is no trust to be violated.
That’s bullshit. There are some basic levels of decency and trust people should expect even from strangers.
What are you saying, that you have relationships with other men and your husband doesn’t know?
Anyone who’s caught up in this idea of refusing to “betray” a friend should consider the consequences to this man of not interfering in some way (at least bringing this aspect of it to his attention). He wants kids, a family - has he fully thought through the inevitable future of a) miserable closetedness with or without dangerous extramarital flings, or b) telling his wife and having the whole unethical shebang thrown into the light of day, with all the detriment that could bring to his family and even his professional life? Given all that, I don’t see any upside to letting this pass in silence.
More to the point, there is nothing in the OP that suggests that the bride has consented to an open or poly relationship, or that she has consented to a relationship, be it monogamous or not, that probably will not provide the aspects of a relationship that normally occur when the parties are attracted to each other.
I was a restaurant manager and one of my waitresses we’ll call her Alison was getting married. She was attending marriage classes every Monday at her church, in other words taking it all pretty seriously. One of the bartenders told me Alison seemed to be the only person who didn’t know her fiance was gay. The whole down low thing is not uncommon here in the West Indies due to social pressure.
I told Alison I’d heard a rumour, she looked bewildered and a couple of days later she assured me her fiance was not gay. She married him still, she wanted to be married. They are separated now, I don’t know the details, except that he’s gay-but-married-a-woman - maybe he was hoping for different?
Using a woman as a brood mare hmmmm - can we leave that to the British royalty?