To answer the OP’s question:
No.
My reasons are my own, thank you.
What amazes me about this whole discussion is the fact that it’s August. You’re talking about something that’s over two months away.
As he’s only four, isn’t that
a) A lifetime away, and
b) Something he’s likely to change his mind about several times between now and then?
And is it normal to start planning halloween costumes nearer to Independence Day than Halloween?
Incidentally, I’d let him wear what he wants. Dressing up for fun is dressing up for fun at any age.
I have said open-ended things in regards to having boyfriend or girlfriend, and she has corrected me very firmly that she will have a HUSBAND- one of her close female friends wanted a wife for a while, and now they have agreed to share boyfriends…
It is all very variable, but she is very firmly in the hetero camp so far, but she doesn’t seem to care about sexy things at all.
I was very clearly interested in girls by age 8 for sexual/romance/kissing/girlfriend reasons, but while she likes boys, it is unclear exactly why…
Very interesting stuff to be witness to as a parent.
I am not sure what a mermaid-plasty is, but I doubt I would pay for it…
If people take alllll of the energy and angst that they put into preventing sissyism, and put it into trying really hard to build the kind of character in a child that inspires the child to always strive to just do the right thing in the face of ridicule, praise or indifference…they would end up with a child that makes them so proud, their hearts will burst…regardless of if he’s gay or straight, fem or macho. Sounds corny, but I notice a lot of cornball shit holds kernels of truth.
I think it’s like a dolphin plasty.
I can’t see the picture- but I urbandictionaried it, and I got’cha
You running for Ms. Universe or something?
It is a bit corny, Nzinga, but it’s true. I think it is more important to have a kid who’s just a good person than one who subscribes rigidly to gender roles.
See? This is why I never speak my true feelings around here. I just push it all down into a black ball, deep in my gut.
A four year old probably won’t do that, as he hasn’t developed those kinds of inhibitions yet.
It’s what his choice to wear such a costume says about his psychosexual development that is really worrying the father, I think.
Well, I was joking, although it does sound a little corny. But I know what you mean. I answer a question honestly and people automatically think:
a) I’m an anti-gay homophobe.
b) I think that allowing my son to wear a dress means he will catch teh gay.
c) I’m some sort of macho Ron-like alpha male.
Non of the above is true, let me assure you.
RON!
Bring back the Ron thread!
I get a large proportion of it from other openly gay men.
No, they’re very different. The one, to the extent it exists, would encourage and favour effeminacy, and the other discourages and deprecates it.
And if there’s a horde of people running around saying specifically that it is good and desirable for gay men to be effeminate and they should be so instead of being masculine, I’ve missed it entirely (with the possible exception of certain wannabe fag hags who want a gay man to treat as a house pet).
And my point is that, contrary to what you were suggesting, it misses the point to suggest that there are two equal and opposite stereotypes: one that says that gay men should be effeminate and the other that says that they (and men in general) should be masculine. The suggestion that the’s any sort of comparability between the two stereotypes skips over the fact that effeminacy in men is burdened with hatred and discrimination. It suggests that there’s a power balance when in fact there’s a stark power imbalance.
Moderator note
Chessic Sense, it would unfair to overlook the fact that deep below the surface of what you say is a kernel of good common sense. Those who choose to buck the behaviors and choices that society generally assigns to their genders will usually pay a price. The problem is that attitudes like yours are the reason for this. In the future please do not predict publicly how another member’s children will turn out if you are going to couch your prediction in the form of an insult.
I didn’t know about that either until I stumbled across a book by an author named John Rechy. It was titled The Rushes. If the phenomenon **matt **describes is foreign to your awareness, it’s worth a read, quite an eye-opener. Apparently there is a vast amount of sissyphobia in the male gay community, *lots *of ‘attitude’ towards effeminate gays and lots of gay guys being just a rigid and obsessed with being seen as masculine as the most stereotypical of fratboy jocks.
I dont see any difference between letting a son dress up like a female hero or a daughter dressing up like a male hero.
Why not let a little girl dress up like Dracula, Michael Jackson, Super Mario, Superman, Barney the Dinosaur, or a Ninja Turtle?..and vice versa?
Wow, someone forgot to tell my parents to raise me as a helpless, stupid female. I’m a mechanical engineer…am I a freak because I like math problems, taking things apart to find out why they aren’t working, tearing up my hands while sorting through the stacks of old parts my company keeps in storage, or getting my hands dirty on old engine parts? Is it really bad that I don’t have to rely on a man to diagnose car problems, install light fixtures, repair toilets, or re-caulk the tub?
Back to the OP…let the kid wear the Snow White costume! Maybe he likes pretty things, maybe he likes the character…who cares! It’s Halloween!
Give the kid a bundle of oily rags and a lighter.
He can go as “Johnny Human Torch”
I understand what you’re saying, but I interpreted **History Geek’s **original comment differently (and maybe my interpretation is incorrect). I thought what he was saying is that it’s wrong to assume that the boy who picks the Snow White costume is necessarily gay and that sometimes people who have a certain political outlook might do that because it confirms their own stereotypes of what “gay” looks like. In other words, someone who has positive feelings about equal rights, same sex marriage, etc., might make the assumption that their son is gay, even though it’s with positive intentions and feelings of support, when the kid could just happen to like Snow White. Those same people may assume that their more stereotypical boyish son is not gay, because his behavior doesn’t conform to what they see as “gay”.
I thought he was cautioning people not to make the leap from Likes Girl Stuff to Gay, even if that leap is made with the intention of being supportive and affirming. Also, not to make the leap that Likes Boy Stuff to Not Gay. Those kids also need to be given support in choosing their own path and reassurances that their parents will be with them no matter what - just because they like football doesn’t mean they’re a 0 on the Kinsey scale.
Even if that’s not what he meant, that’s what I meant when I said it was an important point.