I can see your point there, especially in light of what **AHunter3 **said as well. Consider a little ignorance fought here then - while I was never inclined to view all gay men as a monolithic community, I would never have imagined that sort of, what?, peer pressure?, to exist within it.
C3 has correctly interpreted the intent of my original statement.
While I support letting the kid go as he pleases, someone here said they would try and see if they could suggest another costume and easily talk them out of the snow white drag. I would probably do the same thing, to see how committed the kid was to snow white. If he was strongly committed, I’d go with it. Nothing wrong with snow white, she’s kind, helpful, likes housework and has a great singing voice. All good qualities for any child to mimic eh? have him carry the woodsman’s ax and wear army boots if it makes Dad feel any better. But I think most adults wil get a kick out of it and give him extra candy.
And even though it is August, my kids would be planning out their costumes already - Blame it on those stupid halloween costume catalogs that have already started arriving in the mail.
I have one kid who is pretty headstrong and quite vocal about her style. When she was 4 she was adamant to be a red devil for her Christian preschools halloween party. I knew that would not go over well at school, they frowned upon violent and evil themes, even cute lil red devils. But she was stuck on this costume, for weeks and weeks I heard about it - Finally I asked what she really liked about it, she said it was RED she wanted to wear red, then I showed her a red elf costume and that’s when she decided to be Santa’s helper instead. whew!
But for preschool graduation, in her cute dress and pink leggings she wanted to wear her old sandals. I had shiny new shoes for her to wear, but no she would not put them on. I was so exaperated I said FINE go barefoot because your old sandals are in the trash. I was proved wrong, they were outside buried in the dirt all winter. She knew where they were, dug them up and put them on. I washed my hands (the sandals did not come clean)of the situation, put on a steely smile and let her wear them to graduation. No one seemd to notice or even care except for me.
Now she is entering sixth grade and she has her own funky style that I can’t touch, believe me I’ve tried.
Yes, for Hallowe’en. I would have no issue with that.
But I will say that I have experienced the angst of having a child want to wear opposite-sex clothing and the disparity between what I wanted my reaction to be (go ahead! You’re a special snowflake and clothes are just trappings) and how I felt (oh, God, no) was extremely uncomfortable. In this case, my daughter at age 6 decided she wanted boys’ underwear. Not plain underwear. Not boxers. Boys’ briefs. And her reasons were valid—boys’ briefs are made of thicker cotton than girls’ underwear, and they don’t have dopey princesses or flowers or anything pink on them (barf-a-rama).
Those of you who don’t have children but are predicting that you would never, ever have a problem letting your boy wear a dress to school are welcome to chime in after you have faced the situation. It’s hard. Knowing how I wanted to react did not make it easier. In fact, it may have made it more difficult. And yes, part of it was the fear that she would get teased. Part of it was the fear that we were starting down a road which would involve pain and suffering and cruelty. No, I would not love my daughter any less if she were transgendered or gay, but I would certainly lie down in traffic if it would help shield her from pain.
Like chela’s daughter, my girl has her own sense of style. Last year, she was all about wearing a long sleeved t-shirt and layering a short-sleeved shirt over that, but backwards, so whatever graphic or logo there was on it would now be on her back. I was OK with that. She has a baseball cap and she decided that she preferred to keep the sticker that says “Youth—adjustable” right on the front rather than removing it. Modern-day Minnie Pearl. cool. This year her thing was wearing 2 different boldly-printed socks. AOK.
But I was thrown by the request for boys’ underwear. I let her do it a few times, tried talking her out of it a thousand times, and was enormously relieved when she dropped it.
NONE of my kids will dress up as Barney. NONE. That’s just wrong.
Actually, she’s doing something that’s part of popular, urban youth culture.
Now, they (urban youth) may have been influenced by Minnie Pearl. 
Really? She’s a cool one, my kid. I can honestly say I’ve not seen any other kids in her school adopt this particular style, so I do think she came up with it on her own. My point was, I don’t adhere to any hard-and-fast rules about what is “proper” clothing.
That made me remember – my mom did a lot of shopping for me in the boys’ department, because I wanted clothes and accessories with Snoopy on them. I don’t recall seeing girls’ clothing with Snoopy themes until the late '90s or so.
It’s a “style” those in hip-hop and rap wear by purposefully leaving it on and of course it’s filtered down to (or up then down to) popular culture. She may have seen it on TV or in magazine. Not to say she didn’t come up with it on her own, but that particular fad has only been popular in the last few years.
Of course the stickers were originally meant to be peeled off but since materialism and one-upsmanship is part of the hip-hop-rapper-urban culture, leaving it on became a way of showing off your brand (swagger) and, as you can see from the second link, being able to afford the high price (access to endz) of what you’re wearing.
Tags are left on Timberland boots and high-end sneaker for the same reason.
I would certainly let him be Snow White. There are way to many people that think this may somehow harm him. My ds has 2 older sisters so he has always had “girly” things. My dh used to cringe when he’d come home and the girls had dolled him all up. Last halloween he wanted to be a princess and of course I let him. He was adorable and he loved it!
This reminds me of a great story my cousin told me. He went to a (conservative, small town) Catholic high school, which had a dress code. Girls were always allowed to wear pants or knee-length skirts (of the selected “appropriate” color), but guys were allowed to wear pants-only, no shorts, even during warmer months.
Once the request to wear shorts was officially denied, a few days later the entire male population of the school came to school wearing… knee-length skirts.
The administration got the point, and shorts were written into the dress code. 
As for a 4-year-old dressing in a princess costume for halloween… good lord people, it’s just fabric. Tack it together in the middle and it’s shorts. Don’t, and it’s a skirt. The kid may or may not turn out to be transgendered; most I’ve spoken to said they knew before they were 5, but again, most kids, boys included, play dress-up at that age. But it really doesn’t matter, and if it’s not a big deal to the kid, it shouldn’t be a big deal to the adults, either.
Gender “norms” are fine if you choose them. But no one should feel obligated to, if they don’t fit.
To those who think that kids don’t recognize gender roles at that age I disagree. When I was in kindergarten I was forced to wear a skirt by the teacher (fell in huge slush puddle and was soaked). I was made painfully aware of it by the other kids. Since I still remember it I suppose it made quite an impression on me.
It’s not just a gender swap, Snow White is the quintessential princess. I don’t know if kids would make light of it or not but I question how a child would react with the expected “she’s adorable” comments that adults would make not knowing the child is a boy.
I’d try to steer the kid away from that specific costume but there are better battles to pick if the child is determined.