In this thread, Good Egg asked if it’d be a deal breaker if someone asked your number of partners on a first date. I’m curious as to how you’d answer that.
Would you lie? Would you say you’d had more/fewer partners than you really had? Or would you just avoid the questions? Or tell the truth?
I see no reason to lie. My number neither absurdly low or frighteningly high, so I’d just tell the truth. I’d even mention that one of them was a woman. 
The truth is the best policy. I’d even meantion they were all women. 
Some might think my number is a little high, but I always tell the truth. If a guy can’t handle it, we’re not right for each other anyway.
(I trust I’m not the only one who can’t read or hear the words “you can’t handle the truth” without hearing Jack Nicholson’s voice? Excellent.)
I’ll second that my number is perfectly within the “normal” range (not too high, not too low), so why would I lie?
Now, maybe if I was a HUGE whore and was the World’s Anal Gang Bang champion, I might lie…wait, no I wouldn’t! I’d be rich (or sore, whichever).
Truth. Sex is NOT something to lie about… to anyone other than family members who couldn’t handle the truth.
I don’t think I’d lie, but I would joke it off and avoid the question.
I’d see no reason to lie about the number. I’d also not lie about the fact that my number includes quite a few women, but I probably wouldn’t bring it up unless asked… no need to come of as one of those “I kiss girls for attention!” chicas.
I can’t even estimate how many partners I had previous to My Guy, and neither can he. But we both agree it’s better to be a total slut with just one person.
I was mighty active when I was single. Frankly, I lost count. I guess if a guy couldn’t handle knowing that I am not able to give an accurate answer, that wouldn’t be the sort of guy I’d get along with anyway.
I should note that I was single before HIV changed the rules of sexual behavior. Back then, the worst things that could happen were syphilis, herpes, and pregnancy.
Oh, please. I’ll chime in here as the dude with nuts enough to admit he’s lied about the number.
Like most guys, I add a few numbers to the actual number when talking to my guy friends about it. Like most guys, I try to avoid the question when a female asks, and when she pushes the issue, I try to figure out the number she wants to hear, then I say that number.
Why? Because I’m a guy, and its what we do. I lie to my buddies about the number because I’d get shit if I number was deemed “too low” by their standards. I lie to girls because if they’re asking me as a friend, my number shouldn’t matter anyway. If they’re asking me because I’m dating/in a relationship with them, then I know in my head that I’m extremely monogamous and won’t cheat on/compare them with the other girls I’ve slept with, so why should my number matter? I’m just trying to avoid an arguement.
Guys lie.
And while I’m at it, girls should probably lie a little more than they do. My last long-term girlfriend was more than open and honest about how many guys she slept with and what she did with all of them, even comparing me to them immediately following the act. She never had anything but positive things to say about me, but Jesus… c’mon. Our relationship was about me and her, not how many guys she’s been with in the past. Less history, more mystery. I would never ask. Why should it matter?
I’m also of pinkfreud’s generation (post-Pill, pre-AIDS – good times, good times). Plus I’ve never been married. So, uh, I’d have to – well, “ballpark figure” sounds so wrong, doesn’t it?
Of course, most of the men I date are my age, more or less, and also came of age in the '60s and '70s – so I can’t imagine one of them asking me any more than I can imagine asking him.
Ok so what is the ballpark figure? Is there a mathematical equation that involves the year of your activity, divided by long term relationships with a rounding off of multiple partners scenarios?
Is there a sliding curve? Or would that be too squeemish {hey now!}
Yes, and what number is it that this one wants to hear? I’ve never been ready for this question, and as far as I can remember, I’ve never answered it truthfully. In younger years I lied a few times, trying to guess what the Magic Number would be. Later I learned to dodge answering it or simply refused to answer and thus avoided telling a lie.
I wouldn’t either, and I don’t like it when someone asks me.
Twenty-eight!!!
Wait…what?
No. What for? I even have rigidly defined categories, because that’s how I am. The total number isn’t that high, and so what if it was?
I wouldn’t ask on the first date, unless the subject came up some other way. I admit I’m dreadfully nosy, though.
I wouldn’t lie, but I also wouldn’t divulge a specific number. (What, does he think I’m notching my lipstick case?)
The only correct answer is, “Oh, an average number.” And then shut up. And change the subject.
The last time I was asked I answered with, “It isn’t as many as you might think.” It is a completely truthful answer and it means I don’t have to say the actual answer.
If someone asked me at a point where I feel comfortable with them, I’d most definately tell them.
Considering that the answer zero comes with very negative social consequences, I would have to lie about it.
I just wanted to note that everyone is hinting at their number but was not willing to give it. I think that’s somewhat silly and since I am anonymous I don’t mind giving mine out, although (like many men I presume) I think it’s somewhat lacking. Also your perception of what your number ranks may not completely accurate.
Well anyway, I’m 20 and male and I’ve had 4 sexual partners including my current long-term SO.