Would you rather. . . ? (A Game, Sort Of)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

My wife and I sometimes play a game in which we ask each other outrageous hypothetical questions. In it, we assume that some mysterious force out there compels us to act in either one of two ways. The choices are usually fairly gross.

For example: Would you rather slide down a 100 foot razor blade, or drink a Drano Margarita?

Last night, my wife (Mrs. Moe)came up with a fairly thought-provoking question: Would you rather have to wear a shirt that said in bold letters JUST SAY NO TO PREMARITAL SEX! every day for the rest of your life, or would you rather have an eye gouged out and have to wear a black eyepatch for the rest of your life.

You couldn’t cover up the shirt, and you are allowed to give whatever explanation you want at job interviews, your wedding, whatever. Everyday, you will be handed a clean shirt with the above slogan on it.

If you choose the eye-gouging option, you would lose all sight in that eye permanently, but you can have it done while you are put under anesthesia.

The only rules for the game are, of course, to outdo the previous question, and not to try to cheat fate when answering the previous question. For example, regarding the above question, it’s cheating to reply that you would fake your own death, and where a different shirt.

Anyway, I thought other Dopers might think it’s fun. Have at it. Questions asked can really run the hypothetical gamut. For example, you could ask “Would you rather live in a world where you know with certainty that God doesn’t exist, or that He exists, is kind and benevolent, but inexplicably hates your guts.”

P.S. We actually knew a girl when we were in College who wore a shirt that said that. She had the sort of horrid personality that ensured that no one would like to have sex with her anyway.

2

There’s actually a board game of these types of questions.
My friends and I used to play the deserted island game.
Pick someone of the opposite sex, a co-worker, friend, or celeb (Sam Donaldson? Your boss? Mother in law’s best friend?) and guesstimate how long you would have to be stuck on that island with them, knowing you will never be rescued, before you’d have sex with them. Sometimes I would be afraid that my “NEVER!” response about mutual aquaitances would get back to them, though. Talk about an insult!

3

Would you rather live in a world where the only music is that Celine Dion song from “Titanic” or where the only TV show is “The Geena Davis Show?”

4

Would you rather stick your tongue into Janet Reno’s dirty bathwater, or felch the dog. (Me personally… "c’mere Spot!)

5

Do I get to choose which eye? If so, then I take this option, and submit my left eye to be gouged. It’s going blind, slowly but surely (still years from it, though). As opposed to the right eye, which is 20/20 after laser surgery (the left didn’t need it at the time). And it would great story to scare grandkids.

6

Elvis–The Geena Davis show option. At least there would be some variety.

BandanaMan– Janet Reno. . .yum.

Superdude–Choose whichever eye you want. In fact, you can make up a great story to impress the chicks.
“I lost my eye when I stopped a busload of orphans from going over a cliff and landing on a puppy farm ran by elderly nuns.”

7

Genna Davis. Geena Davis. Dear God anyone anything anyTIME
to avoid Celine Dion.
Ummm…what is “felching?”

8

Christ.

The one question that should never be asked…

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Would you rather explain “felching”, or be beaten about the head and shoulders with a giant salami?

10

I like salami.

The shirt one would be rough. ocassionally I want to dress up. Its not the slogan, its the idea of never being able to wear anything different. (Sue me I have a problem with commitment.)

Geena Davis here we come.

Janet Reno. slurp

11

OK, for the rest of your life you will have a recording of the Olsen Twins talking about their careers playing in your head, or

you must wear a muumuu (sp?), the same one no matter how dirty it gets, every day for the rest of your life.

12

I like the one they asked on Howard Stern one time…(this is for guys): Would you rather have sex with a man or your mom?

That one is tough…most people get embarassed or even pissed off when you ask it and almost no one answers it. Me? I’m not gay but gay sex here I come. At least I could choose the guy and never have to see him again.

13

That is a tough one, Cisco. Can I at least choose a very effeminate guy?

Gene Davis, then I sell my television. Janet Reno, then I gladly drink the Drano Margarita.

Would you rather have one night of incredible sex with [pick one: Charlize Theron / Harrison Ford], taking an unconditional vow of chastity immediately afterward; or be allowed to have sex as often as you like, but you are limited to, and must cater the appetites of [pick one: Linda Tripp / Carrot Top]?

14

Here’s an ethical/legal dilemma:

Would you rather have sex with an extremely attractive and willing 12 year old of the appropriate sex (male if you’re a male homosexual, female if you’re a male hetero, female if you’re a lesbian, etc.) or…

Be the sex slave of a vile, unclean (terrible hygiene by disease free) and repulsive person with an unholy sexual imagination for a week?

Grim

15

I’ll go with this one. I can always shower. And I’m pretty sure you described one of my college breaks.

Also, I would rather slide down a 100 foot razor blade while drinking a Drano Margarita while Janet Reno waits breathlessly to be felched at the bottom of the ride, than I would have ANYTHING to do with Carrot Top.

16

FWIW, it’s called Zobmondo!!.

(I am not affiliated with… etc.)