I’d rather read my favorite book for the first time again.
Would you rather be able to flick your index finger Wolverine-style and find a nail file protruding from your finger or would you rather it be a corkscrew?
The nail file would be a little more useful, I guess. I don’t have to open wine bottles that often.
A bottle in front of me, or a frontal lobotomy?
A bottle in front of me.
Would you rather live twenty years more, or relive the last ten years?
Twenty years more, please. The past decade has been good, but I’m the sort to look ahead.
A short, very turbulent flight, or a longer, smoother flight with a kid behind you kicking your seat over and over?
I’ve experienced both, and I’ll take the short, turbulent one.
Would you rather be chased by a swarm of hornets or get sprayed by a skunk?
Skunk. I have an exceptionally dull sense of smell.
Would you rather watch The Phantom Menace on an endless loop, or listen to Gilbert Gottfried read the dictionary cover to cover?
Phantom Menace. At least I could eventually sleep through it.
Would you rather be the world’s greatest pianist or guitarist?
Guitarist.
Would you rather live with Sheldon Cooper, or by yourself in Stuart’s comic book store? (remember, if you live at the comic book store, you have to shower at the gym, and cook in the microwave or on a hot plate).
Living with Sheldon, in a heartbeat. We have some similar interests, he usually amuses me, and most importantly, I wouldn’t take his shit the way Leonard does. After a week or two we’d have reached an accomodation on equal terms, or he’d be moving out.
Knowing Penny’s maiden name, or being French-kissed by her?
Knowing her maiden name. I’m bisexual, but Penny is not my type.
Have all your current pets live healthy lives, but with their normal lifespans for their species and breed, or have them all outlive you, which means you would never have to go through losing another pet, but they’d all have to be rehomed, as elderly pets, after you died. They would remain healthy in their extraordinary lifespans, but would still age, so that by your death, they would be elderly. In other words, they would age with you, whatever that means for your particular age and time left.
I’d have to go with normal lifespan - loss is part of life, and I’m probably more able to deal with it than my pet.
Would you rather experience constantly moving kaleidoscope vision the rest of your life or have a continual rotation of Britney Spears songs for earworms the rest of your life?
I’ll take the kaleidoscope vision. A least I could close my eyes and listen to real music.
Would you rather be probed by an alien anally or orally?
Anally. I don’t have to look at them, and can close my eyes and not think about what they are doing.
Would you rather live with Bill and Hillary or Donald and Melanie?
Donald and Melanie - I can handle a crazy person pretty well.
Would you rather be confined to a room full of spiders or snakes?
Definitely spiders.
Would you prefer to be doomed to always miss the last 5 minutes of every movie/TV show, or doomed to always be missing the last 2 pages of every book?
The last two pages of every book. Reason being is at that point in most books it’s usually denouement, and at least the climax has already occurred. Not so with the last 5 minutes of most movies or tv shows.
Would you rather be able to accurately predict the future two seconds in advance or receive a one time tax free payment of $90,000?
Two seconds isn’t long enough. I’ll take the money.
Would you rather have elbows or knees that bent both ways?
Uh… elbows, I guess. But it doesn’t really matter to me.
Would you rather be able to fly, or to control others’ minds?
Fly.
Would you rather spend a holiday in Switzerland, or Swaziland?
Switzerland.
Would you rather be blind or deaf?