So Anise, Maxcarnage and I went to see feardotcom tonight. About thirty minutes into it, Anise said she couldn’t take it anymore, and was heading to a bookstore. I conferred with Max, letting him know I was also leaving, and joined her. Max apparently made it through, although it sounds like he was tempted to leave as well. Man, what a horrible movie. This is your warning:
DON’T WASTE YOUR MONEY!!!
So, could you maybe explain what was so awful about it? You don’t have to spoil it, but was your problem with tone, direction, editing, acting? Was it too stupid? Too gross? Too violent? 'Cause to me, Stephen Dorff is pretty hot, so you’re gonna have to try a little harder to convince me not to go.
Funny, I was going to start this thread. I really wanted to like this movie because I LOVED House on Haunted Hill by the same director. It wasn’t “gross” per se, but there were many scenes of women tied up and being tortured for the amusement of an internet audience. If you’re squeemish about such things (which I’m not, really. I don’t approve of such things IRL of course, but it’s a movie) or about medical type procedures, you want to avoid this movie.
I’ll avoid giving away any big plot(snicker)points or spoilers but just in case I’ll use the spoiler tag: First off, the premise was so totally implausible. Ok, it’s a horror movie, I can accept that. But even movies like Hellraiser have some kind of unifying theme. Sitting thru this movie was like watching a bunch of random clips thrown into a special effects/“Ingmar Bergman wannabe” blender and poured onto celluloid.
The characters were idiots…A mother tells an investigator about her hemophiliac daughter, and, when shown a picture of an abandoned steel mill, explains “Yes, I know that place, my daughter used to play there all the time.” Your hemophiliac daughter in a steel mill??? Someone call child services.
Also a complete stranger with a video camera tells a full grown woman to meet him at a theater to audition for a film. When she gets there, it’s in an alley, there’s organ music playing, and only one flickering flourescent light gives off any illumination…YET SHE GOES IN ANYWAY. She almost deserved what she got.
Things are left unexplained, as they were only there as horrilble plot devices anyway…Why the hell was the mystery website woman offing everyone who visited the site when all she wanted was revenge on the one who put her in her current predicament? Why was it 48 hours to the minute after they signed in?
Seriously, I’ve never walked out of a movie in my life. I can’t see the reasoning. I’ve paid my money. All I have to do is sit there and not go anywhere for no more that two hours. But last night I just about changed my stance on that policy.
I can’t think of any reason to recommend feardotcom.
My favourite parts of the movie (sarcasm):
Why was the woman on the case. She wasn’t a police officer… she was from the department of health and ruled that it wasn’t health related. Hence, she should have nothing more to do with the case, but stays actively involved for the entire movie.
When they get a parking ticket for parking in the no parking zone in front of the police station where the guys works (between the two of them, they should’ve figured out not to park there
Apparantly, flashing still images of violence is now scary instead of actual violence
Woman: “let me see the case files”
Police Officer: “No”
Woman: “Let me see the case files”
Police Officer: “Alright”
How everybody is told not to log in to feardotcom.com and they immediately go and log in.
The lack of any plot or motives
Cheesy bad guy nick named “The Doctor” (ooooh)
Painfully bad dialog: “You look like you were expecting me”
Hmmm… can’t remember much else… I think those brain cells that remembered more committed suicide…
–Chorus
My favourite parts of the movie (sarcasm):
Why was the woman on the case. She wasn’t a police officer… she was from the department of health and ruled that it wasn’t health related. Hence, she should have nothing more to do with the case, but stays actively involved for the entire movie.
When they get a parking ticket for parking in the no parking zone in front of the police station where the guys works (between the two of them, they should’ve figured out not to park there
Apparantly, flashing still images of violence is now scary instead of actual violence
Woman: “let me see the case files”
Police Officer: “No”
Woman: “Let me see the case files”
Police Officer: “Alright”
How everybody is told not to log in to feardotcom.com and they immediately go and log in.
The lack of any plot or motives
Cheesy bad guy nick named “The Doctor” (ooooh)
Painfully bad dialog: “You look like you were expecting me”
Hmmm… can’t remember much else… I think those brain cells that remembered more committed suicide…
–Chorus
Wait a minute-a female hemophilliac?
Hello-no way. Females do NOT get hemophilia. In fact, there have been only two or three recorded cases in medical history and all died when they started to menstruate.
Sheesh!
Wait a minute-a female hemophilliac?
Hello-no way. Females do NOT get hemophilia. In fact, there have been only two or three recorded cases in medical history and all died when they started to menstruate.
Sheesh!
Yeah, Guin, I know. I didn’t make it as far as the hemophilia bit, but when Max told me that, that was my first thought. Wow, that’s impossible, I thought. Then I remember the parts of the movie I saw, and realized, they wouldn’t let a little thing like a medical impossibility stand in their way of making a crappy movie.
Wait a minute-a female hemophilliac?
Hello-no way. Females do NOT get hemophilia. In fact, there have been only two or three recorded cases in medical history and all died when they started to menstruate.
Sheesh!
And no one in the movie knows how to parallel park! Drive up to a building and leave your car perpendicular to it. That’s fine.
Basically, it was too horribly idiotic. It was an assault on my higher brain functions. It was just bad bad bad. Acting, editing, writing, direction, were all hideous. Here’s the topper:
I just told Max we should’ve seen Master of Disguise instead.
Wait a minute-a female hemophilliac?
Hello-no way…just kiddin.
C’mon Guinastasia, one more time.
It was a messed up movie. Don’t waste your money.
:o
Sorry. Damn hamsters.
BTW, I typed in fear.com after seeing an ad for the movie-it’s a site where people list their fears. Apparently, the movie wasn’t even able to claim the domain. HAH!
Isn’t the domain in the movie actually feardotcom.com? Or am I really confused? I seem to remember seeing this address in the ads…
Well, www.feardotcom.com is the movie’s official website, at least.
I hated that part where Guinastasia sang a baroque aria about hemophillia.
That part sucked!
Just kidding Guin’
I’m more suprised that you walked in to a theatre showing fear.com than that you walked out. I smelled the stink on that thing from miles away.
Yeah, I know. But I really liked House on Haunted Hill, so I thought maybe it would be ok. How wrong i was.
Oh, come on now, that’s just human condition. You tell people not to do something, and they do it. Especially if it’s going to be something possibly detrimental to their health.
Like telling people NOT to go see this movie. The second I heard “It’s a waste of money,” all I could think of is “I get paid Friday, I wonder what sucks about it…”