Today, we had:
A man with a gun in the state capitol. He was shot and killed by a state trooper. According to the news, this guy rented a tux and claimed that he was the emperor of the state. 
Another man was died after being tasered by the police.
There were two fatal car wrecks
Forget Friday the 13th, looks like Monday the 16th is much worse. 
Yep…seems like it is rather crazy out here lately. When I moved from South Florida to CO, I just couldn’t believe how mellow it was out here, and how little crime and drama we had. Doesn’t seem to be the case anymore, especially as the population grows like it has over the past couple of years. Kinda sad
And it’s freakin’ hot. When’s winter coming back?
Hot and the air quality sucks. I’m begining to miss all of the snow we had in December!
Plus you have to live with the shame of having a mayor named “Hickenlooper”. A man whose " heart still soars in response to the words “efficient pothole repair.”’
…What?
But other than that, it’s a mighty inspirin’ speech. Mom, apple pie, little children and the American Flag, not to mention Thomas Jefferson and the glories of ancient Athens. Great stuff. We as a people, in an era of sound bites and 30-second Oscar night thanks, have lost the art of oratory; nice to see that they’re keeping it alive out West.
Dude, John Hickenlooper (while he may have a funny name) is an awesome mayor.
Because he has a funny name. And owned a brewpub of course, but primarily because of the name.
And that fake emperor! If my people hadn’t already solved the problem, pay he would! Everyone knows I’m Emperor of Colorado West of Sheridan Blvd To That One Pull Off Just Past Glenwood Springs, Excluding Vail and Aspen and Maybe Breckenridge (that’s the full title, btw. There are no abbreviations in it and anyone who mispronounces “blvd” will soon regret it!)
Expect more violence as temps soar as high as Hick’s heart on hearing “efficient pothole repair”
Remember the 1993 “Summer of Violence”?
:: taps Cask of Purloined Winters I keep under my desk ::
When your freaking president ponies up the freaking $10 billion dollars I told it would take for me to undo global warming.
Oh, please keep the winters. I will be content with a NE fall - they are stunningly beautiful. And I love summers.
I, sir, am one of your subjects. My fiefdom is a few blocks west of Sheridan at 120th. We have been protecting this area from Applebee’s and roaming hoards of prairie dogs for over a year now. When will you send reinforcements?
You can keep the winters. I’m sure that all of the snow we had this winter lead to “let’s stay in for New Years” and then to a little blue plus sign on a stick!
However, I will give you 10 bucks, or a mouse dalek, for a mild winter’s day within my home.
I want the followup story on the rented tux, and the reaction of the store personnel when it comes back with bloodstained bulletholes. I doubt the estate is getting the deposit back.
ETA - Looks like, according to the article, it may have been a single head shot that connected (one of four?). Still may have stained the tux.
25% hit? They’re getting better… Never should have upgraded them from clubs and axes.
He was just trying to show the Denver PD that troopers can shoot too. Sounds like he almost blew it though.
I had no idea that I was now related to royalty, albiet a minor house. 
Just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at him? And now we know: they don’t put you away – they blow you away?
New motto - Colorado - Even our assasins look good
I have a six pack of ‘Purloined Winters’ in the fridge. And I only asked for ONE MILLON DOLLARS.
You, good sir knight may have the I-70 corridor. Keep it. Please.
I will run the gauntlet that is US 9 and US 285. Aspen and Vail are a world unto themselves, yet the serfs from your Kingdom continue to ride the white glitter every winter. Though it does bring us lots of money and stuff, so it ain’t all bad.