[QUOTE=Seren]
Thanks for the phrase, Aangelica. That should help, especially when it comes to my mom.
I hadn’t thought of going to a department store. That’s a pretty good idea. It’d definitely be cheaper than a boutique.
[/QUOTE]
Everything is cheaper than a boutique. Even custom dressmakers can be cheaper than boutique-bought bridal gowns.
And, the price of one-stop shopping for wedding stuff is, well, a price – in dollars.
I can’t speak highly enough of the thick black magic marker approach listed above. I would heartily endorse skipping anything that might lead to all of the women in your family sitting around a table in the middle of the night, tying tiny little bows on tiny litte bags of anything.
Find out early if your wedding hall allows candles. If so, consider using candlelight or helium in your centerpieces (if any) rather than flowers. One of the most fun, medium-budget wedding receptions I ever attended had centerpieces of helium balloons tied to tiny baskets weighted (under rose petals) with marbles or gravel or something. It may just have been because so many of the guests were physics students, but in fairly short order the dance floor was being patrolled by festive zeppelins, and the long-haried men had balloons tied to the end of their hair, so that it was standing straight up. Waltzing caused terrible tangles, but it made for some great, if not dignified, photographs.
If you are not big on dancing, you might want to consider a morning wedding. They are unusual in the United States, but they are a great excuse for women to wear big, showy hats and a great way to be elegant but keep costs for food and alcohol down. (Brunch, even a festive brunch, is a cheap and easy meal to put together, whether catered or not. And champagne is all you “need” to provide, alcohol-wise – and people don’t go through much of it before noon. Generally.) Tuxedos, obviously, would be inappropriate for a morning wedding. (Though grey morning jackets are not. You would have the choice of going either more casual or more English in your wardrobe choices.)
For your guests’ comfort, don’t run out of food and don’t run out of alcohol (if you provide it at all – and better in most cases to avoid the issue than to do a cash bar.) Your guests wil lnot care if they get a bag of birdseed or a bottle of bubbles or if there are gold tassles on a chair cover or if the centerpiece is gardenias or daisies or non-existant. The most awkward experience for a guest (barring some really good stories of special, awkward moments) is a sense of being entertained beyond the means of his/her host.
If you can go into the planning process with an open mind and an interest in what the market has to provide, you can pull together a great event at a pretty good price. It’s just when brides get caught up in buying stuff intended specifically for brides or when they’ve been dreaming since they were seven of having one particular kind of tulip that is only available by special back-order to the bulb in Holland at the season of the wedding that brides get realy emotionally manipulated or ripped off by the bridal industry.
Keep the cost/benefit, bang/buck questions in your mind at all times and (other than that piece of advice, of course) don’t let anyone tell you what you have to do on your “big day”.
Being able to say, “okay then, chicken instead of shrimp”, “no, it’s not worth $6 per stem to me to have spray roses” or “one classical guitarist instead of a chamber ensemble sounds dandy for the cocktail hour” or “I don’t give a rat’s ass about wedding cakes; I want pie” (all merely for example) is a valuable exercise and it shows in the ease of the day, the comfort of the guests, and the bottom line.
Congratulations.
Tabby (Professional Event Planner for many years)
