Write a sentence that has never been written before.

I’m tired of handling these eels and, all things being equal, would rather be in Philadelphia.

I, Idle Thoughts, am posting to “Write a sentence that has never been written before” and this is my entry.

I don’t think Idle Thoughts likes to write sentences about eels.

As my thoughts idled, I realized I had exceeded my credit card limit and could no longer afford to hunt down unicorns with cinnamon sweeten unpitted olives.

Sometimes, when I’m bored, I fill my shoes with unpitted olives.

I saw Olive Oyl in the mosh pit eating her shoes.

Castor, her brother, was later arrested for doing lines of spinach during a children’s birthday party.

Their mother, Nana Oyl, is on the Board of Directors of Dole Pineapple, where she has relentlessly promoted a line of semi-sweet pineapples.

Slice the shallots relentlessly crosswise, allowing their pungent vapors to insinuate themselves into the gecko’s dreams.

At the concert last night, Justin Bieber surprised his fans with a stunningly pitch-perfect performance of “Ave Maria”.

Justin Timberlake worships Donald Trump as his personal savior.

I was perfectly sober when the piscatorial/genital contact occurred.

I am neither the Eggman nor the Walrus, and I certainly do not goo-goo-ga-joob.

The zorilla downed an entire bottle of Ypsilanti hooch and proceeded to dance a blithe rumba around the room with a stuffed walrus.

Following the instructions on the label, the fisherman vigorously shook the bottle, thereby rendering the genie a bad attack of hiccups.

It wasn’t until the sky started raining below-standard Hemingway novel drafts that we decided to sabotage the prison guard’s commute.

I can’t recall the last time loaded a shot gun with salt and took aim at a metaphore.

Crochet is a method of turning yarn into blankets; conversely, crow shea is bird butter.

The crow up on the wire cawed appreciatively as I beat the Microsoft code writer bloody in the back yard after dragging him out of his bed.

Call me Ishmael, or I will exhume the body of Herman Melville while wearing a red satin blindfold.