Jethro the Lithuanian warthog wrangler enjoyed hunting for escaped convicts with his trusty pet snail Suzette, whom he’d won by singing a medley of Andy Gibb songs at the county fair.
If the airline won’t let my pet snail fly the plane, we’ll just have to cancel our jetskiing holiday in Tashkent.
As the hands of the clock slowly aligned for a brief moment in unison, I wondered whether this would be last last post of this thread in the Year of Our Lord 2015.
Oh Lord, grant me the power to withstand the temptation to close this topic, even though I have no valid, earthly reason for doing so other than to be an evil moderator nazi.
Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to trial?
Hannibal Lecter’s lazy cousin, Professor Hercules “Fifi” Van Murphy III, strolled merrily into White Castle, where he tried unsuccessfully to order a vegetarian, kosher bacon cheeseburger with a side of deep-fried M & Ms.
Reinhard Heydrich liked nothing better than a kosher bacon cheeseburger at the end of a long day spent painting Mount Fuji.
Reciting the Sermon on the Mount backwards in Esperanto may sound like a lot of fun, but Mormons consider it the worst of the 8 unforgivable sins.
The way you’ve rearranged my desktop icons with wanton disregard for the principles of feng shui is, frankly, unforgivable.
Feng shui is a synonym for Toyota’s line of mobile homes.
I wish Toyota would recall all of their lachrymose Bolivian dirigibles ASAP.
I use to think Bolivian dirigibles were arousing until I read an article in GQ that said that they really blimps.
Henry Kissinger owned a most comprehensive fleet of blimps and used to take it out and show it to his mother on Sundays.
I’m so glad I talked Grandma into crocheting me a fanny pack to go with my prom dress.
“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a lifetime pasta pass at the Olive Garden”.
I am happy to have won the $900,000 Powerball, and even happier that I could share the money with 39 other winning ticket holders.
I am happy to have won the $4.55 Powerball, and even happier that I could share the money with 39 other winning ticket holders.
Getting pulled over was pretty good, I guess, but it would have been better if the officer had written me a ticket too.
I bought tickets to the panty sniffing contest off a scalper for just twenty dollars.
A just twenty dollars is far superior to an unjust twenty five dollars and thirty nine cents plus shipping and handling.