“Quickly, before any more obnoxious characters show up to complicate things,” cried Rabbi Yehudah ben Bezalel Levaias, "to the Mitzvah plane! “Can I drive?” asked the expectant Golem.
“How long has it been since your FUI?” asked the overly cautious Rabbi.
“Purim.” Explained the sheepish clay giant.
“Rabbis got SR-71s?” asked Dusty, scratching his head in puzzlement.
Handing a more detailed photograph of the Mitzvah Plane to one of his adoring fans, Rabbi Yehuda spoke to his stoney assistant, “No, you cannot drive, now hurry and get in the plant already, we have to rescue Joshie from Tom Swift!”
“Linky no worky,” Lefty complained.
We’re sorry, the Rabbi’s fan page is experiencing a great deal of traffic as Passover nears its end.
(It is rumored that the Golem is selling chometz.)
“Linky still no worky,” Dusty said, regretfully shaking his head.
Trusting that the link he had in cache would work later, and feeling that he’d spent too much time on a single laugh anyway, the Rabbi sped away in the Mitzvah Plane, whatever it looks like, with his sidekick the non driving Golem, to rescue Little Joshie from the evil Tom Swift , and the Golem said, “That’s not Tom Swift, it’s the Easter bunny,” and the Rabbi said, “What the hell, it’s all goyim stuff anyway.”
The rabbi pointed a very large gun at Peter Cotton[del]mouth[/del]tail, who dropped Joshie and started to hop away, only to be stopped by Sadie, who had been lurking in lingerie (the department, not the garment).
Meanwhile, unbeknownst to our heroes, but beknownest to us, the evil Tom Swift snuck up and began to hot wire the Mitzvah plane.
“Not so fast there, Tom!” snarled Sam, who had miraculously returned from the very first post of the entire thread and was now wielding a samurai sword.
“Foolish mortal, today the Mitzvah plane, tomorrow the world!” Tom said providentially.
I withdraw the above line and replace it with:
“When first we met, you…actually, I don’t believe we’ve met, but whatever, I am the Master!” Tom exclaimed pointedly.
Sam raised his samurai sword high over his head and, with a demonic howl, charged at Tom, er, Vader.
“I can’t breathe in this thing!”, Tom plagiarized.
Sam’s sword sliced effortlessly through Vader’s helmet, which split open, revealing… Sam’s own face!
“You hear something?” asked the Golem, and the Rabbi replied, “Not me, what do you think it was?” and the Golem said, “I dunno, sounded like someone screaming in pain,” …the Rabbi lit a cigar…the Golem mentioned, “Peacocks are supposed to sound like that,” and the Rabbi mused, “Hmmph, whatdaya know.”
Suddenly, out of the mist, appeared Duncan McKleinberg, who stood facing Sam and declared “There can be only one, …but I can get you a deal on a knock off”
"No standard web pages containing all your search terms were found.
Your search - Duncan McKleinberg - did not match any documents. "
Crap, thought the Golem…“So, whatzup, Rabbi?”…the Rabbi examined his cigar, “I keep thinking about the lingerie and Sadie already”…“Yeah, she’s hot!”…“Oye, the department, not the clothes…We rescued Josh from his bed at home from the Easter Bunny”…“Who is right over there, according to a previous post”…“Oye, yeah we need to do something about that…bring my Very Big Gun over here, be a mensch…but it’s lingerie department, not clothes, so does she live next door or across the street from Victoria’s Secret, or what?”…the Golem remarked, "I heard that sound again…sounded like, “Sam, I am your Father. Join the Schwartz side, we can kill lots of Ewoks and Tribbles, it will be a hoot!”
“Oye”, said the Rabbi, “Let’s make the rabbit Kosher already.”
