“Obviously,” commented Dr. Longtitude, hopping on one foot as he entered the house, fumbling with his shoe, “PETA was not involved; I hope I’m not interrupting?”
He then took off his shoe and threw it- regrettably, as it soon turned out, into the lap of Timmy’s next door neighbor, Jesus, who had come by to tell the story of his quite, quite strange day.
“I’m terribly sorry,” apologized Dr. Longtitude, “but would you have any money to donate towards my Atlantis expedition?”
Just then the hotel detective appeared, his Glock clenched in an outstretched and trembling hand.
Jesus quickly threw the Doctor’s shoe, nailing the house dick on the forehead, killing him instantly!
As he fell, however, his fingers grew tighter on the trigger, resulting in his involuntarily spraying bullets everywhere.
“Shoo,” Jesus quipped.
<aside>Can we pretend that post #167 is swapped for post #166?<aside>
Timmy scooped up the Glock, screaming “Sell ME to the gypsies, will you, bitch?” while he pumped the remaining rounds first into the lady with the dog shit eyes and then the red shirt Gypsy.
“He’s not very strong, nor can he aim a gun,” the mom said to the gypsy casually, “so you can see why the first 12 gypsies who came by didn’t want him”
“I don’t know,” said the gypsy skeptically as he took the Glock from Timmy’s hands, “since he’s pretty scrawny, and seems to have some anger-management issues.”
“However, I do believe that a sucker is born every minute, and, once I find that sucker, I could make some money off of your boy”
At that exact minute, a sucker was born.
An immemse shadow came over the house, and the most obnoxious human that ever was hung from a rope ladder, exclaiming, “Jumping catfish, Professor Mercator, but it looks like we’d better take off on your expedition in my flying lab before the cops show up with warrants for attempted murder!”
“Who said anything about we?”, Dr. Longitude responded, as he kicked said being off the rope, and flew off to that hotbed of Romanticism, Cicero, Illinois.
Although considering that continuity of story was important above all, he returned and gathered Jimmy, Jesus and Sam aboard the flying lab before proceding towards the site of Atlantis, somewhere near Cicero, Illinois.
Unbeknownst to those in the flying lab, an Air Force traffic controller was at that moment directing two F-16s of the Illinois Air National Guard to intercept them.
“In case of an emergency,” droned on Dr. Longitude, “we should all be prepared; I have a parachute, here is one for you, Timmy, Sam, and one for you, Jesus,” causing Timmy to whisper, “Doctor Longitude, you just gave Jesus my backpack.”
“Attention weird-looking civilian aircraft,” radioed one of the National Guard F-16s, “we have been ordered to escort you safely to Cicero Illinois because of unusual UFO activity in the area.”
Doctor Longnitude press a switch and the windshield wipers came on; after the foglamps and and message display that proclaimed, “WE BRAKE FOR NOBODY”