Just got done watching the “X-Men” movie which got me thinking . . . .all you Straight Dope Mutants out there . . .is there a “real life” (not a fantasy one that you would like to have)superpower that you posess that you could use to help save the world?
For example, you have a grandmother who is very good at laying guilt trips on her relatives, making them do things they would not ordinarily do. Perhaps she can be called “Guilta”. Or perhaps you can fix ANYTHING- with duct tape. You are therefore “Duct Tape Man”.
I figure I have an amazing ability to read road atlases out of the corner of my eye when I am driving, so I guess that makes me “The Navigator”. Meanwhile, I have another buddy who has an amazing ability to make people go away with his obnoxious personality- a super power that only comes about when he drinks. “Obnoxo”?
On the outside, i look normal - but INSIDE… my guts are all rotten! I am filled with slithering black nasties. My power is that a few hours with me, I can make any hero suicidal.
Well, I can be charming, witty, and fun to be around, be trusted with their darkest secrets, yet still inspire absolutly no sexual feelings in women. I’m not sure how this helps to save the world, though. Unless you count removing my genetics from the gene pool.
And I can shrink my self-esteem to the size of an ant, while retaining my full human strength. Not impressive, but at least I don’t have the word “Ant” in my name.
I can waste superhuman amounts of time, and kill 8 liters of soda in a single day. This is not recomended without serious training.
I have crammed enough pop culture into my brain to kill any mere mortal.
And I can nullify the effectiveness of any anti-depressant drug, just by injesting it. But I’m sure you figured that out already.
I am amazingly fearless when it appears that if I don’t do something, someone will get hurt. Also, I have the ability to fast-talk without resorting to BS. As long as my “victim” pays attention, I can distract him/her from their original objective and refocus their attention on why they want to hurt people and how they might get more satisfactory results with nonviolent means.
I’m also big enough to appear threatening, if required, and strong enough to be a credible threat, but I abhor violence. I only resort to violence when it’s neccessary to stop even more violence. Usually acting like I have no fear and getting in the victim’s face (while offering them a nonviolent out) suffices.
Well, I can baffle writers with grammar jargon until they stop whining about how I changed their writing. That’s a power of sorts. My title shall be … The Editrix!
I can also wiggle my ears and bend all my fingers at the first joint only, but those haven’t really been a hit since third grade.
My friends used to call me Gumby because I could twist my body in any way shape or form. At the Raleigh dopefest I gave a demonstration to Drain Bead. I am sure she could attest to my gumbitude.
My friends and I had this very conversation about a year ago. At the time, my claim to fame was that my teeth were virtually impervious to cold. I could pack my teeth in icecubes for hours and not feel any pain. Likewise with my resistance to “brain freeze”.
HOWEVER… my arch nemisis Dental Surgery Man removed my wisdom teeth about 8 months ago, causing my teeth to become sensitive to the cold.
Just like the rest of you mortals.
But I got a new power. I’ve had so much dental work/cavities filled, I figure I have the equivilent of Wolverines’ “admantium” bones. At least in my teeth.
I am Cavitor. Beware evil do-ers with any aversion to guys with lots of dental work…
I love tying things in bundles–especially paper and cardboard to be recycled. I am quick with a knot and I always get just the right amount of tension on the twine. It was my husband who named me The Bundler. He’s just jealous because I am so much better at bundling than he is.
How would this be a helpful super-power? I guess I could be the one to tie up the bad guys. :o
I have been called “special” but that is really my disguise. I really am “SPATIAL MAN” (accompanied by deep rhythmic pounding of kettle drums). I can fabricate a cardboard box to pack almost anything.
I breezed through every test related to space, dimensions, area, etc… On another note, I also generate more static electricity than any other person I know. To date, I have fried 3 telephones, two programmable thermostats, and one digital travel clock.
