Ya damn right I have no sympathy for you. :mad:
I don’t want to hear about how we are depriving your child of their instrument when:[ol]
[li]It’s not yours; it’s ours. You signed an agreement that states that in the first line. You also initialed a broken-down summary of that agreement (just in case you were too lazy to read the full one), which states it again. Maybe you should’ve explained that to Slacker Jr. when you rented it for him. [/li][li] I informed you we had to previously arrest your punk brother for pulling the exact same shit. What made you think we would treat you any different?[/li][li]We mailed you not one, not two, but three notices that we would like our equipment back, pretty please.[/li][li]We had someone physically go to your address to notify you that you would be criminally prosecuted for keeping our equipment. What? Did you think we were kidding?[/li][li]All you had to do was come back and pay $20 for every month you wanted Slacker Jr. to remain happily playing. [/ol] [/li]I don’t want to hear about how it was your (pick one) mother’s, brother’s, daddy’s, uncle’s, auntie’s, cousin’s, roommate’s, baby’s daddy’s, church’s responsibility to take care of your account.
The account was in your name.
You were responsible and you signed a contract agreeing you would be responsible.
Take it up with them.
I really don’t want to hear you bitch about the overdue fees that have accrued while you blissfully ignored our notices. We lost income because of you. We had to pay extra in labor and expenses trying to recover our equipment on top of not being able to make money on our own property because you thought you could get away with stealing it.
I really, really fucking don’t want to hear about how we are ripping you off with late fees when we are the ones laying out several thousand dollars on all this lovely equipment for you to play with, when all you have to do is pay a fraction of the price to have use of it. But you don’t.
You just keep it and then act surprised when the police are calling you, asking you to pretty please return our property.
All you ever had to do to avoid all of this was to fucking return what didn’t belong to you.
And who the fuck do you think you are, to put our company through this hassle, and then stand there and demand that I drop what I’m doing and call the police right then and there to let then know it was returned?
Fuck you. You brought it back at your earliest (police prompted) convenience; I’ll call them at mine.
And please, for the love of Og, don’t stand there and play nicey-nice and oil-ly* thank me.
You don’t mean it and it makes me feel like I need a shower.
:mad:
(*I know there’s a real word for this, but for the life of me I can’t think of it.
Just imagine how Fred Phelps looks when smiling and being “nice”. :: shiver :: )
