I, of course, wish to enter my name to be considered for Society membership. The selection of said name, however, I leave up to our Most Esteemed Founder and Grand Poohbah (may almighty Cecil smile upon him and long may he reign.)
I plan to cause a sensation at our first Society Ball by abandoning my usual fetching-but-modest frocks for a scandalously low-cut ballgown of watered silk and Brussels lace. I shall flirt shamelessly and comport myself in a scandalous manner. But I shall be so charming and lovely that my elders (who, as society members, are my equals and not my betters and had better not forget that) will smile and turn a blind eye.
*LadyPers my love, do you SEE that dress she is wearing? And as for that LadyKat person…didn’t her mother TEACH her it isn’t nice to sprawl all over a chair like that? By the bye, did you see that Lady Robin of Doors is trying to get INTO this club…well, you KNOW it is just so that she can get Viscount Aaron of Doors into the “right” schools… this club has RAHLLY got to find a better “vetting” commitee! *
*LadyPers my love, do you SEE that dress she is wearing? And as for that LadyKat person…didn’t her mother TEACH her it isn’t nice to sprawl all over a chair like that? By the bye, did you see that Lady Robin of Doors is trying to get INTO this club…well, you KNOW it is just so that she can get Viscount Aaron of Doors into the “right” schools… this club has RAHLLY got to find a better “vetting” commitee! *
I as well would be tickled pink to join the Society of Fancy-Pantses and Debutantes, old chap. Although I note that our Fancy-Pantses wear petticoats. Surely you don’t mean <i>waistcoats</i>? I would hate for our Society to be embroiled in such a shameful scandal!
(but although I am a Debutante, may I then wear the monocle, cane and waistcoat of the Fancy-Pants? Oh, that would be such smashing fun!)
I want to join. I fancy myself, celestina, Queen of England, Duchess of Gigglesworth.
[celestina enters the illustrious halls of Ye Olde SDMB Society of Fantsy-Pantses and Debutates, makes straight for the Laphroaig, pours herself a generous shot, and takes a seat.]
You do realize, of course, that my great-grandfather, the esteemed Greywolf von WoodandGlen the Third was one of the original members of the very first Ye Olde SDMB Society of Fantsy-Pantses and Debutates?
I, Lady Greywolf, trust that I too will have a place in the newest incarnation of the club and thus continue our family tradition.
And I do so hope there will be duel in the near future. I enjoy those very much. I only request that it not be before the ungodly hour of 7 AM. I do not arise before then.
I think we will all get along smashingly.
And I feel I must give fair warning to you all that when I indulge in even the slightest amount of spirits, I have been known to expose my gasp ankles! I hope no one is too scandalized.
Verily, it appears that Sir Jestington hath started this thread and then gone on to just slumber.
I, of course, am too dignified to throw a banana cream pie in his face. However, much as it pains me to say it, 'tis too true that t’would best be done. And SOON, too. Perhaps Lady Kat…??
Oh, I simply must declare my intention of signing up for this absolutely precious new club! I am of course thinking of this as more of an old-South (in the North American sense) institution than a European one, but perhaps the Europeans in the audience will excuse me a slight bit of provincialism? Please?
Jester, I hereby give you leave to bestow upon me a suitable noble moniker. Have at it.
celestina, I fully expected you to head for the best Scotch, which of course leaves me completely free to make an end run around the madding crowd for the best bourbon and Irish whiskey. Sorry, darlin’. (although you probably don’t care)
Why, LindyHopper, darling, it’s so good to hear from you!
[celestina holds her hand out to LindyHopper]
Once you’ve gotten your drink–I’ll have you know I do enjoy me a sip of Bushmills every now and then too, [giggle]–come sit by the fire with me and let’s chat shall we? I’m waiting to hear the latest on dits from you, hon.
[celestina pats the sofa cushion next to her and smiles invitingly.]
Sounds like jolly good fun. I would greatly appreciate being permitted to join your society. As many of my acquaintances can attest, I have a long history of engaging in idle chatter and a willingness to present my solutions to the world’s ills, as long as I am not required to actually do anything to correct those ills. (After all, the concerns of my social inferiors are hardly worthy of any effort on my part.)
I am, of course, opposed to the repeating of scurrilous gossip. So those of The Society are advised to listen carefully the first time.
And now, I must take myself to my bedchamber for the evening’s repose. My lady wife and the felines are awaiting my arrival.
My Lady celestina, of course many plaudits and juicy pieces of info await you anon. But I am off to the Kingdom of New York tomorrow afore the sun’s rising, and so I must content myself with this brief missive. A more copious transmission will of course be yours upon my return at the beginning of the week.
Until then, I must raise a glass of Black Bush to you, and I hope that this small gesture may content my Lady until my return. Perhaps thou wilt favour me with a small token? [/shameless begging]
Smashing, indeed! I, too, wish to attend as a debu-pants wearer. Having just re-read a biography of Radclyffe Hall, I had intended to make just such an application when I stumbled across trans-deb Daojowan’s missive. (Of course, my extreme near-sightedness dictates that I wear TWO monocles at once, since pince-nez would hardly be suited to one of my fashionable masculine pretensions. I shall show my Algonquin-level wit by referring to my two monocles as a “bonocle.”)
Should my application be granted, I would, of course, refer to our society meetings as “a salon,” in honor of my pseudo-bohemian pretensions.
Yours etc. etc.,
Signed, Lord Weskit Pinstripe Squint, Mrs.
I shall make livery of seisin of the remainder in fee tail, in accordance with the Statutes of Uses, Wills, and Frauds, and to assure that no contingent remainders violate the Rule Against Perpetuities. With respect to all freehold estates, I assure you that seisin shall never be in abeyance, nor shall such transactions conflict with the noble principles of the Magna Charta or with the theories of sovereignty espoused by Sir John Fortescue.
You may all now be seated, dears, the Duchess of Phantowgreiken (that’s me, loves) has finally arrived.
favors Sir Jestington with an especially warm smile that one reserves for a gracious host, even if he IS napping in the overstuffed (gasp, is that slightly threadbare?) chair
Smithers, do be a dear and pull the chaise-lounge a wee bit closer to the fire, would you please?
prods Jest halfheartedly in order to hear the latest wag about Coldfire who really is in the muck again, that rake!
You, in the green dress with the orange hair… who is your modiste? I’ll loan you my personal maid for an afternoon for an introduction to your dressmaker…
And you… yes, you in the kilt. I have always wondered…
