Might want to delete your Internet history, and never mention your username or the name of this website.
Hey andros, welcome back from wherever you’ve been hiding!
What? No, no, I’ve been here all along. 
(Good to see ya, RTF.)
She’s old enough to know what she likes. Not every woman (or every guy, for that matter) likes receiving oral. It could be an issue of shyness, or it could be that she truly doesn’t like it. If it’s just shyness, a couple of alcoholic beverages could loosen her inhibitions enough to enjoy it. Just make sure to communicate your enthusiasm. If she still puts a kibosh on it, you need to decide if that’s a dealbreaker for you or not.
Be sure to watch The Graduate with your 48 y/o lover.
[QUOTE=Budget Player Cadet]
I recently started going out with a somewhat older woman. Somewhat older meaning 48, 30 years older than me. My friends, whenever they hear about it, are disgusted. What the fuck? She’s pretty damn hot, doesn’t look anything like 40, and we really have a good thing going. Why the hate? Is it so disgusting for a senior to be dating a MILF?
[/QUOTE]
I would have expected these reactions from friends at 18 if I dated someone 40+.
Yeah, I find the Doper reactions much more surprising.
Especially the “you (or she) are wasting your time with her (or you) when you could/should be fucking 18 year olds (or being available for Mr. Right)” argument.
This relationship isn’t going to last forever; most likely it’ll be history in a couple of years. At 20, he’ll still get to fuck 18 year olds if he really wants to. At 50, she won’t be any worse off for having taken a couple years off from fruitlessly waiting around for Mr. Right for the past decade.
IME, long ago as it was, every time I came out of a temporary fling, I was happier, more confident, and generally feeling better about life than I was before it started. Why not? Having someone to get it on with, even if that’s all it is, should make you feel happier and better, because it’s fun, and being close to another person in that way is just something we’re wired to feel good about.
And eventually you get to the point where you think, “yeah, this is great, but I want more than this in a relationship,” and then you move on. What’s the big problem?
I’m not convinced that that is the majority view.
Certainly the real answer to both “Why would an 18y.o. date a 48y.o.?” and “Why would a 48y.o. date an 18y.o.?” is “Because they can!”. So we jump to the heart of the matter, which is “How is this situation likely to go spectacularly wrong and what should the OP do to anticipate this?” Which brings us to:
- The older woman could be immature/manipulative/crazy, which could impact badly on the OP; or
- The older woman could be a nice normal person but want a long-term relationship, which presents other serious issues to consider; or
- The older woman could be after a quick fling but the OP could get unnecessarily attached, resulting in an unpleasant scene at some point.
Or they could both want the same thing right now and it’ll all work out fine. As long as the OP is aware of the risks, there’s not much else we can (or indeed should) do.
No, but an assortment of pretty hollow objections, taken together, do constitute the majority view in this thread.
I don’t see a lot of “95% chance everything’s hunky-dory, and you should go and have a great time, but just in case, here’s some warning signs that she’s a nutcase, and here’s what to do about it if she is.”
I’m seeing the aforementioned “wasting each other’s time” objection, the “she’s using you/you’re using her” objection, “she’s gotta be really immature for 48,” “you’re not really as mature as you think you are,” and shit like that. Taken together, these sorts of things are the majority view in this thread.
I agree with the above poster. Of course it sounds weird to kids your own age. Just admit it sounds weird, and tell them to mind their own business.
I only hope you both can go your separate ways amicably when the time comes. If she hasn’t dated in a while maybe this is her way of getting back into the game, with someone she doesn’t really expect it to last with.
I dunno. I was really almost freakishly mature at twelve; fairly normal at eighteen; and by the time I was twenty-five I was cracking offensive jokes and wearing jeans with holes in them. Perhaps he needs to date a woman of maturity before he finishes devolving as much as I did. Le sigh.
… although at eighteen I did meet — and end up with — a woman a bit over five years my elder. Seems like a pretty sweet spot; but had she been forty-eight at the time she’d be about sixty now. Budget Player Cadet, are you prepared for the consequences if this works out? When you imagine your forty-year-old self, do you think he’ll find dentures and adult undergarments terribly attractive? Visiting nursing homes where everyone assumes she’s your elderly parent?
Then again: pension jackpot!
All I can say is: don’t sweat what anybody else says. Just smile knowingly and figure that they’re jealous of your success. When I was 29 I dated a woman who was 48, and when I was 40 I dated a woman who was 24. I caught shit both times and just laughed at them. Both women were hot and highly charged sex machines, so what’s not to like?
Well, in post #5, you were telling us that this is a stable relationship; That’s why I posted what I posted…but now you are admitting that it’s not a stable relationship and more like a fling. So now that the record is straight, I’m cool with that.
It can be stable and a fling, like a Frisbee toss sailing along smoothly until the dog grabs it in mid-air.
Beautifully stated, BE.
I’m not getting 18yo loving, that’s the big problem!
Because the OP is using sham relationships like this one (and his previous, online-only one with the self-cutting Hitler’s step-daughter that I linked to above) precisely to avoid the sometimes unpleasant work of learning how to form lasting relationships with nearby women of his own age.
It is two lonely and anxious individuals making a virtue of their maladjustment, instead of stepping outside their comfort zones on working on improving their ability to relate to others, including, significantly, appropriate potential romantic partners.
The OP is 18. I think he’ll have time to get “adjusted”, assuming such a state exists and is desirable, two concepts of dubious evidence.
Switch to a dog??? :eek:
Now, THAT I would have a problem with!
- Jack
And if he doesn’t get down to that bit of work until he’s 20, the consequences are…?
It’s really quite hard to take this sort of reasoning seriously.
I find this board is pretty liberal so I’m baffled by this one last bastion y’all seem to cling to. I don’t know what’s more offensive, that you consider a middle-aged female dating an of-age teenager mentally-ill or that said teenager obviously has nothing to offer but his gonads.
I mean, I told the story about how my high school friends and I obsessively went to see David Letterman (20+ years my senior) and everyone enjoyed it so I told the story of how I went to see Justin Bieber (20+ years my Jr.) and everyone FREAKED OUT. What is the difference?
Do you guys not actually interact with teenagers? Online or IRL? Some are blithering idiots. Some are WELL mature beyond their years. Maybe they both love the same bands or TV shows or books or whatever. Why is it so baffling to you that this could be a thing?