At the fitness center I go to, there are three women who regularly check me out. Actually, I tend to be clueless about when someone is checking me out, so if I say she is, then – by God – she is. One thing these three ladies have in common – they’re all married. My initial encounter with each one has been along the lines of eye contact, a smile, then me looking at her left hand and suddenly thinking, “Why the hell is she looking at me that way if she’s wearing that!? Dammit!!”
Then again, I figure that since two-thirds* of all marriages end in divorce, I may as well go ahead and lay some ground work. There’s only one girl who I talk to/flirt with regularly since she works at the front desk. The other two work behind desks (not the front one) and only come out onto the main floor to show potential customers around or do private training. Normally, when I see the other two ladies on the floor, I’ll make eye contact, smile, and say, “Touch my pee-pee!” I always get a smile back.
So why is it just the married ones who seem interested in me? It could have something to do with the fact that all the single girls there are only about 17.
Cripes. “Touch my pee-pee!” is the magic pick-up line? I’ve been trying lines on girls for years, searching for the Holy Grail of pick-up lines, and “Touch my pee-pee!” is it?
Trust me, John, “Touch my pee-pee” is MAGIC. I suppose you’re been trying that “shy yet sensitive intellectual” bullshit approach all these years, huh?
:: Pointing at JC, laughing ::
Ha! You didn’t know about “touch my pee-pee”? Christ, i thought this was something they taught all boys, you know, as a rite of passage into manhood. I can’t imagine life without the sacred “touch my pee-pee” line.
:: Shaking head ::
Jeff, stay away from the married women you sleazebag!
Oh yeah, and what is your last name, because I was reading the credits to StarCraft and someone named Jeff Strain was in them. Coincidence? Hmm…
Oh yeah, and another thing: Thanks for the postcard from Telluride!
:: Pointing at JC, laughing ::
Ha! You didn’t know about “touch my pee-pee”? Christ, i thought this was something they taught all boys, you know, as a rite of passage into manhood. I can’t imagine life without the sacred “touch my pee-pee” line.
:: Shaking head ::
Jeff, stay away from the married women you sleazebag!
Oh yeah, and what is your last name, because I was reading the credits to StarCraft and someone named Jeff Strain was in them. Coincidence? Hmm…
Oh yeah, and another thing: Thanks for the postcard from Telluride!
I think the married women are pining for the days when their husbands would come home from work and say, “Touch my pee-pee!” Now, they just grab a beer, sit down, and watch the ball game.
Demo
Really? (::Displaying major ignorance: What is StarCraft? A TV show? Movie? Computer game? I mean…ummm…yeah, that was me. Did they list me as Executive Producer this time? The last time they credited me as “Best Boy.” I couldn’t believe it. Man, was I pissed.
What is StarCraft? A TV show? Movie? Computer game? I mean…ummm…yeah, that was me. Did they list me as Executive Producer this time? The last time they credited me as “Best Boy.” I couldn’t believe it. Man, was I pissed.