Yes, I needed to know that!

The BBQ Pit
1

Warning: Somewhat rambling account ahead.

So there I am, Sunday night about 9 days ago, enjoying a few episodes of Firefly with my dog asleep at my feet and a glass of Glenfiddich -
life is pretty good. Then I recieve a phone call from an ex-girlfriend (who shall be know as Worthless-Cheating-Hateful-Slut, WCHS, from here on).

Some background, I went out with WCHS for about 5 months around Xmas of 2003, after finding out from some friends that she was
screwing any guy under the age of 40 with a heartbeat who was capable of bi-pedal locomotion, I ditched her & never looked back.
She then moved out of town & I havn’t heard from her since.

Me: Hello?
WCHS: Hi Vagus, this is WCHS
Me: Yes… (somewhat coldly).
WHSC: - some fairly mindless smalltalk.
Me: Uh huh, so any reason you called?
WHCS: Well, I’m not sure how to put this…(At this point I’m half-expecting to be named in a paternity suit)
WHCS: I’ve been pretty ill lately, they think its HIV, you should go get a blood test done.

  • So this is what it feels like when your heart stops! -

That was my evening pretty fucked up!

First thing Monday morning I head off to the Hospital to get blood taken, with the results expected back a week later.

The whole week was hellish, sleepless nights, distraced at work, wondering what the outcomes of the test would be, if they came back positive how I would go about telling my parents, how it would effect my current relationship, going back over the time we were together and trying to figure out if I could have caught anything (I always did the right thing re: safe-sex, her attitude was a bit more blase about that, so I wouldn’t be suprised over anything she had managed to contract).

Got my results back yesterday - all clear!!! Yeah me!!

I gave WCHS a call tonight to let her know how things went.

Me: Hey WCHS, it Vagus.
WCHS: How are you?
Me: Fine, results came back all clear.
WCHS: Yeah, same with me.
Me:
Me:
Me: Say that again.
WCHS: My test results came back negative, found out last Wednesday.
Me: So let me get this straight, you tell me you have HIV, when you don’t know for sure, then you let me spend a week waiting for results when
you knew a few days after your first phone call that there was no threat?
WCHS: (apparently figuring out that I was pissed-off) Well, I knew your results would be OK, so whats the problem?.
Me: This has to have been one of the worst times of my life, would a simple phone call - LAST WEEK - have hurt??
**WCHS: **Well now you know how I felt when you dumped me!
Me:…
Me: Oh, go fuck yourself you worthless cheating hateful slut. click

Now I’m trying to figure out if this whole episode was genuine & unthinking (probable), genuine & uncaring (possible) or fake & venegful (possible).

How was your week?

2

Well, that’s just terrible. Of her, I mean. Glad to hear you’re okay, though!

Incidentally, does your current SO know you went in for testing?

And, sad to say, the world is full of people whose minds work that way.

3

:smack: Meant to say, why the fuck did she call you before she knew for sure? Sounds like she has the attention span of a gnat.

4

I’m voting for fake and vengeful. Would “they” (doctors, we assume?) ever say they “think” it’s HIV? Are they not more likely to say “you need to be tested” and leave it at that?

5

Wow. Good thing you got rid of that gem. Yikes.

6

No healthcare professional is going to recommend she contact past partners unless she had a definite positive HIV test (and they don’t give you a positive result until it’s been double-checked and re-tested in a different lab).

It sounds dodgy. If someone is sick enough to suggest HIV as the most probable cause, it’s usually an AIDS defining condition and doing the test is more or less a formality.

HIV tests are not used as part of a fishing expedition when you’re not sure what the cause is, they’re used either when the person is at risk and requests testing, when their symptoms are suggestive of AIDS or when you have exhausted every other possibility.

So the " I’m sick…the doctors think it’s HIV" without a positive result just doesn’t sound right to me.

7

In my job I’m supposed to have a yearly HIV certificate in order to get my work visa approved. So, last year I go in for the test. They say they will mail me the results. Now I normally shouldn’t have any worries about the results, but I get a call one late Friday afternoon from the clinic asking me to call them immediately regarding my test results? Huh?! !!! ??? Of course no one is there until Monday morning to take my call.

Me: You called me Friday and asked me to call you back about my test results.
Stunned cunt (after asking my name, etc): Oh, yes. Could we have your mailing address so we can send you the results?
Me: Fuck! Why didn’t you say that is all you wanted in the damn message you left?
SC: Sorry? I don’t understand the issue. I just left you a message to call us back.
Me: For the last three years you have had my address on file and have sent me my results no problem, but his year you leave me an urgent message to call you back regarding my results. You don’t see how I might be concerned regarding an HIV result?
SC: Well, I knew you would be out of the country shortly…
Me: Ah, gawd <sigh>. Okay here is my address:

8

Gah, that sucks. Her story sounds pretty fishy to me as well - doctors don’t say, “Oh, you’ve been feeling a bit flu-ish? Maybe it’s HIV!” Even if one DID, and her story is real (still doubtful), she should have called you IMMEDIETLY once she learned she wasn’t sick. Sounds like she was being a vengeful bitch.

On a related note, I remember a few years ago I went to my college clinic to get what my friend called the “STD Prize Package” (screening for common STDs) just for peace of mind. When I went back to the office to get my results, instead of just saying, “You’re healthy, you dont’ have anything!”, the doctor instead started listing everything I DIDN’T have, making me fear that I did, indeed, have something. No, turns out they just didn’t have enough of something they needed in the lab to test for chlamydia, so they had to send it out. Gee, you couldn’t have told me that first? He was a nice doctor, but apparently he just wasn’t thinking…

9

Totally unrelated- at least to HIV testing, but related to that sense of urgency when someone leaves you a message and you are waiting to hear from them.

My mother called Saturday morning while I was out. She said she had plans for the day, but would call me that night. She didn’t call me back, and didn’t answer the phone when I called her.

Sunday, I wait anxiously until about one o’clock to call her again (knowing she had church). Still no one home. I’m half convinced she was just out late and hasn’t made it home from church yet, and half concerned that a car accident or something has occured and she can’t call me.

Two o’clock, I try again. She’s there, she’s fine, she just developed a need to take a road trip on the way home from church so she was still eating lunch when I called. (She’d been out late enough the night before to assume that calling me would have worried me more than not calling me).

So, I can relate to the anxiety involved when one can’t find out what one needs to know at once.

10

Re: Vengence

I don’t think so.
I think you’re giving WHSC credit for brain matter that it appears she lacks.

She sounds like she’s an “It’s all about me” person.

My guess is that, after seeing the Doc for whatever ailed her, the Doc told her that they would do a screening for a range of ailments including HIV. The Doc may have included the HIV test based on her sexual partner selection criteria as mentioned by Vagus.

WHSC’s interpretation of the Doc’s statement was, “The doctor thinks that I have HIV! Holy Cow. I have to call the legions of men that screwed me to warn them. This will also be a perfect opportunity to get attention”

11

Whoa dude. Did we date the same girl there for a while?

checks location (un)hopefully

Nope. Guess not.

12

Glad you’re well** Vagus**.

There’s a special hell for WHSC and her ilk. At least there ought to be. :mad:

13

Shit dude, that sucks. I had a similar situation a while back, only it was an alleged pregnancy rather than an STD. It was a huge lie to get me back for breaking up with her. It was all the confirmation I needed that breaking up with her was the right decision.
I feel for you. Glad you got away.

14

Yeah, I’m with BubbaDog here. She probably went to the doctor with vague complaints and in the course of taking her history, the doctor noted that she was extremely sexually active. So the doctor tells her to get bloodwork done for hypothyroidism, liver function, etc… for her “illness”, and by-the-by, how about an HIV test? But in her mind the one led to the other. You’d be surprised at how common this is.

That doesn’t excuse her calling up old partners and scaring the living shit out of them without a positive test.

Glad you’re clean though! Keep up the good work.:wink:

mischievous

15

Brainless or not (and I suspect you’re right, BubbaDog), that was still an incredibly awful thing to do. Bad, bad girl. No cookie.

Have you considered changing your phone number, Vagus? (And glad to hear you’re alright.)

16

Damn, and here I am at 41. She wouldn’t happen to be a Meatloaf fan, would she?
[sub] Meatloaf the singer, gutter brain. Doc exits, quietly humming “two out of three ain’t bad”.[/sub]

17

Hey, 18 months ago you would have been in the running.

BubbaDog on reflection I think you’ve pretty much got it. At the time I didn’t really consider that I wasn’t getting the whole story (though perhaps I should have) but as this is my first you-may-have-an-incurable-eventually-fatal-disease alert I had other things on my mind.

Yes, I talked with her on the evening that I got the test done & let her know what was going on. Not a fun conversation but she stuck with me. :slight_smile:

Now I have convinced her not to put a contract out on WHCS. :smiley:

18

Sounds like you’ve got a keeper there. :smiley:

19

I agree.

On the upside, I’ve become very well educated about HIV over the last week.

20

Jeez!
What a hellcunt!