I’m a long-time (and I mean LONG TIME) lurker - probably at least 9 years. I adore this board; I even struck a deal with our IT administrator at work not to block it (I know - I am nuts).
I’ve been home on medical leave (cue “Ask the Gastric Bypass Patient, Part Deux” thread) and finally decided to take the dive.
I think all of you SDMBers are an amazing group of people, and now that I’ve sucked up appropriately, I’ll look forward to many years of fun-filled posting :dubious:
VCNJ~
Oh, we are definitely going to have to start rearing…wait…scratch that…ummm…raising…yeah, that’s better…raising our own goats. Happy Harry is making an absolute killing on us lately.
Anyhow, welcome aboard, Veuve! Always glad to have another Jerseyite around. 
Good Champagne.
Welcome!
Boy, it’s getting crowded around here. Lotsa newbies signing up.
Someone better start making more coffee and double the donut orders.
Welcome, Veuve!
Since your username is so elegant, kindly step through this door, where you will find:
1 Hexi Cashmere goat
1 Classic White Flex-Straw
1 Champagne Jello shot
Enjoy, and welcome!!
Gastric bypass, eh? Good thing the calamari is applied, ah, topically. So to speak.
North or south Jersey? The Philly folks do more-or-less monthly dinners, and are always looking for recruits.
Welcome!
Sorry – reading too fast. I do, in fact, know what “northwest” means.
Wow.
All these newbies and lurkers signing up!
Welcome, welcome welcome.
Hi ClicquotNJ. Be welcome. Enjoy your stay.
Welcome, and Veuve Clicquot is yummy.
Oooh, let me reply while your post count is still 1.
You should screenshot it or something.
Welcome, welcome to the boards!
Wow!
Thank you all so much for the greetings!
I’m not above driving to Philly to meet some Dopers! I will investigate once spring comes (I’m not above driving to Philly to meet some Dopers providing the weather is good).
Again - thanks for the welcoming messages!
VCNJ~
Do you have any idea the resale value of a high-milage goat?
ZERO!!!
All these newbies are racking up the milage pretty damn fast. If we can’t get a new source for livestock, we may have to resort to…you know. And we really, really don’t want to go down that road again! Can we add something to the registration agreement to the effect that the price drops 50% if the registrant provides their own goat? We can always rotate the newbies so they don’t get their own goat for initiation.
Twickster, have we found a wholesaler for calimari yet?
Welcome, Veuve_Clicquot!
You will find all manner of fun, amusement and enlightenment here!
[sub]twickster, silenus, I fear that the calamari is taking things into its own hands, so to speak… it’s not responding to the toilet plunger at all now.
I really don’t want to disturb the… you know… the Thing Downstairs… again. Last time we did that, it played havoc with all kinds of ‘stuff’. [/sub]
Oh, I did not. I swear, one session with the Ginsu knives and they never let you forget it. It’s not like anyone needed those octopi for anything.
They were all out of ink, anyway, and how are we supposed to get the newbie contract signed without ink? Stupid defective cephalopods.
I’m talking to a supplier on farm-raised calamari, which is supposed to be much more “docile” – unlikely though that seems – I’ll see if I can get the deal made, we really can’t put it off any longer.
You’ve been lurking here for 9 years. 9 YEARS!! You’re, like, the Phantom of the SDMB. I can actually hear it…“Lot 666, then: a chandelier in pieces.” Anyway, my point is, you should know full that Dopers are not the brightest or most articulate bunch. Could you not have chosen a more pronounceable and recognizable username? You couldn’t think of “Constipated Trufflemonkey” or “Three Blind Lice” or “Deer in the headli…[WHAM!]”?
Now, not to Trufflemonkey…I mean, Veuve_ClicquotNJ, but to established Dopers…are we going to let this flagrant infringement of our rights continue? I find this inequitable application of forum rules to be thoroughly offensive and yay, even injurious. Why (tell me Mods, WHY?) do the noobs get to pad their post count when Sticky#2 clearly delineates such activity as unwelcome and completely in violation of the spirit of the boards. We’d never get away with it. You know as well as I do that, “Hi, this is my 2,357th post” would be shut down quicker than street vendor selling Botulism Rat Souffle without having purchased a City-issued license to do so. Oh, maybe you don’t see it. But these new ones, they’re padding. They’re padding alright. I could tell by the tone of a couple of 'em (not pointing fingers at anyone Trufflemonkey so calm down) that as they were typing up their first “hey why doncha welcome me” post, they were eyeing their post count, sniggering, and smugly counting, “One”.
cough
Whoa. 'Scuse me. What I meant to say was, welcome, Veuve_ClicquotNJ! 
::runs nekkid through thread::
[sub]So if the doctor asks me how physically active I am, can I include all the blasted nekkid running I’ve been doing lately?[/sub]
Hi!
requisite smooch, and a big hug to boot