Yet another TMI thread... ow, the pain!

OK so can someone tell me why I can’t have intercourse without pain?

I lost my virginity somewhere back when Mastodons were still roaming the snowy, ice-encrusted plains of Arizona, and yet I always end up singing the same tune, and it goes something like; “Touched for the very first time.”
I have tried everything - lube, a century of foreplay, different positions, more lube, using smaller objects, visualization, enough lube to slide China over to meet Greenland, and still more lube.

And yet, it’s still always like shoving a bulldozer into a Pepsi bottle.


Have you gotten this looked at by a gynecologist? I had this problem, and it turned out that I had some abnormal cells in the entrance to my vagina that were causing this issue. It’s been a very long time, I’m afraid I don’t remember the name of the condition.

Treatment was pretty easy, though it sounds bad - they used a mildly acidic (?) solution to kind of… burn away the cells. Mind you, this was 15 years ago and the treatment may be different now. It more stung than anything else, and I was also given a cream to apply. After a few treatments, I was fine and the problem has never returned.

Argh, I have been trying to avoid the gyno, since spreading for strangers has never really been my bag.
I mean, I have been before, but it was about 7 years ago. Don’t you think she’d have mentioned something then?

Yes, but did you mention the problem? I don’t think it’s something that they can eyeball-diagnose, they might have to do a little test to confirm.

Tell your gynecologist. I understand how you feel about strangers. I would suggest meeting with a gynecologist to become comfortable first. These consultations cost less (if you don’t have insurance) than full exams, and you get to find a doctor that you like and can relax enough to explain the problem. Also, this stranger truly has no sexual interest in you. Trust me on this. They are doing their job. The few horror stories that you hear are either urban myths, or such a small percentage that you have very little to fear. Get to know your doctor. (S)he is there to help. It could be one of several problems, something as simple as not enough lubricant. Possibly you are not relaxed enough. Being able to speak frankly with your doctor is the first step to finding out.

Sorry, obviously you are using plenty of lubricant. Please ignore that oversight on my part.

Sometimes there can be vestiges of hymenal tissue that narrow the vaginal entrance, thus causing a bit of discomfort.

Go see your gynae!

Kung fu you haven’t been to the gyno for SEVEN YEARS!!!

wags finger I know it’s not pleasant but you have to go EVERY YEAR, hon.

Amen Snoopy I was about to say the same thing. 7 years?!?

What’s the name of that one condition, grrr I’m out of coffee today and hence fuzzyheaded. Vaginismus or dyspareunia maybe? Basically, losing virginity hurts, right? Next experience, you tense up in anticipation of the pain and bearing thru it, and on and on, until your muscles are habitually rigid and won’t allow the happy stuff to occur. It’s a vicious cycle whereupon each painful experience reinforces the negative connotations and tells your body to continue expecting pain and your muscles tense up because it hurts.

No one enjoys going to the gynecologist, personally I hate visiting the dentist even worse, but you just gotta white knuckle yourself thru, babe. Won’t even the most embarassing experience be worth it to achieve pain-free sex? Have a stiff drink before going into the office, whatever it takes, you can do this!

ISTR reading an article some years ago about the condition Ferret Herder describes; basically tissues on one side of the vaginal opening are hypersensitive. IIRC, the article recommended surgically removing the offending tissue.

lola, perhaps you can ask your female friends/relatives for recommendations, if you don’t like your current gyno.

Yeah, but what are the odds they’d have one of those chairs with the stirrups?

um… recommendations for a new gynaecologist.


mrs beagledave votes for gynos who warm their speculums prior to use…I vote for the ones that keep 'em in the freezer.