If I’m Cthulhu, the petty political concerns of the scurrying hordes are beneath even the notice of the small parasites that live among my tentacular maw. I will dedicate no attention whatever to choosing targets for consumption based on their ideological leanings. My sole concern will be enjoying my meal.
So I’m going for plump and tasty, like Scarlett Johanssen and Lindsay Lohan.
Phred Phelps.
No no, don’t thank me.
Mmmm…
/drool
Cthhulu would not at all mind eating them…
I think that I would probably go with plump and tasty too.
Hmmm, I think maybe Kate Winslet should be on that list with Scarlet and Lindsey.
And Paris Hilton, but only 'cause I’m gonna need a toothpick. One of her chicken-legs should do nicely.
Hmm. It seems that, however you slice it (age, post count, virtue, location in the human body politic, weight and height), I’m in the middle…
Cthulhu is a big fellow, you know. Not the kind that’d be eating people one at a time.
I’d start with New Jersey. Get the puking out of the way before moving on to the rest of humanity.
Cthulhu vomit!
Alright! :mad:
Who gave away the New Member Initiation Ritual?
The Brady Bunch
Berkeley, CA, and parts of the surrounding metro area. Because a) they wouldn’t fight back as hard, so it’ll be a marginally easier effort to make as I’m rousing myself from my death-dream-sleep, and b) after I eat all the hemp-smoking hippies, I can amuse myself by watching the “trails” my tendrils leave as I wave them in front of my watery, lidless eyes.
Then I’ll work on the so-called “holy land.” It’s existance slightly annoys me—rather like a small splinter—and the screams, wails, and futile “prayers” of the humans are soothing music to my ears.
I met Scarlett Johanssen once. I knew her brother for like 5 minutes back right after she did the Horse Whisperer.
But after eating Scarlett Johansen, her brother and Lindsay Lohan I’d have to go for Ann Coulter, but not until after I tentacle raped her. She needs the mother of all spite fuckings if anyone does. Hell she’d probably get off on being tentacle raped by Cthulu.
Erek
I think I’d pick by political leanings. First I’d eat the wackjobs on the far right and far left, since you want to eat the people who are heavily armed before they know what’s going on. Then the whinier of the liberals, because they’d make my head ache, then any actor or actress ever billed as “Special Guest Star” except for Heather Locklear because Melrose Place and Spin City brought me entertainment. And then…
Cthulhu thinks Kate & others are tasty but hardly plump. Paris? <shudder> Even Cthulhu has limits. Wouldn’t touch that skank with your tentacles. Cthulhu will transcend space and time to eat Rene Z. when whe was shooting Bridget Jones or that hottie that played Stiffler’s Mom in American Pie. Then to main course, Anna Nicole Smith during one of her binge stages… but served foi gras style so Cthulhu doesn’t have to hear her talk.
Cthulhu would definitely eat the Republicans last, to prolong the suffering of everyone else.
Getting driven mad by the presence of a Great Old One is horrible, but having to watch George W. Bush keep smirking among all the chaos is indescribably evil. 
Given that Donald Trump not only has a huge ass but is one, Cthulhu would likely find rump de Trump an irresistible appetizer, before moving on to take a big bite out of the Big Apple.
On a positive note, Cthulhu feasting on the five boroughs of NYC could ameliorate the perennial housing crisis there. Rents might even become affordable…
Darn you, I was going to name him! After all, I live in Topeka and have to see him all the time.
How do you pronounce Chthulhu
I pronounce it HNNYYAAAAAAAAAARRRRG.
[kTu:K\u:]. That’s “kthththoooo [the wierd l sound in Welsh, only voiced] ooooo”
Anyway, I would eat Megan first, because I have a crush on her and I don’t want her to go insane. Then it would be all the poor and oppressed people of the world, to get their suffering over with quickest. I’m a benevolent Cthulhu:D
Last to be eaten would be conservative radio talk show hosts and bad drivers.
Well, if we’re going down the road of sex, I’d put Miss Carey at the top of my list. My biology teacher during my senior year in H.S. and she had just graduated from UWM the year before. So she was about 23 or so. And I was 17. And she…was…fucking…HOT!!!
Guys, you know the reason it was so hard (hehe) to pay attention to the lectures she gave on reproduction. We’ve all had one or two teachers that just do it for us. I still can’t believe I passed that class. :eek:
And rjung, you seem to have a problem with President Bush I’ve never seen you bring up in other threads. Are you just feeling upset tonight or is there a difference in what he’s doing and what you think should be done? 