You beauty I've hit the lead in the Tiger Woods pool.

I took 11. Hope there are no more porn stars out there.

Please tell me you were drunk when you posted this OP.

I think he just launched an Al Queda sleeper cell or maybe doing speech writing for Palin.

Not at all. It all came up because of a conversation at work when his infidelities were first revealed. Some time ago a workmate and I started jokingly talking about our mythical PR company when you fuck up you call us and we tell you what to do. Our advise is always the same - come clean, don’t cover up anything and throw yourself on the mercy of the public.

Since we started there have been regular incidents, mostly involving sportsmen and politicians, and our advice never fails. The people who come clean are soon forgiven. The people who try coverups are soon revealed.

So naturally when Woods first affair was revealed someone asked what we would advise. We said confess to ALL the affairs, say there is something wrong with you , that you can’t help yourself and you are getting professional advice. Ask to be left alone so that you and your wife can sort things out. Do not lie.

Someone scoffed at the idea of more affairs and I predicted 11.

So the OP, especially the title, doesn’t look the slightest bit incoherent to you, don’t ask?

You mean the mysterious extra Woods? Unfortunately edit doesn’t let you edit the title.

Other than that it looks fine. Except for the fact that the whole “pool” idea is merely poetic licence.

The ladies sure are coming out of the “WOODS” to claim they had an affair… :smiley:

You don’t think “You beauty” needs punctuation after it either? Certainly looks like a Joycean stream of consciousness to me. Or written by someone pissed.

Can someone please give me a rundown on who he’s been schlupping? I’ve been out of the loop (last I heard there were two or three*) and don’t like to go to the gossip sites. I am away on business a lot and Tigers house is probably only about 60 miles from ours, which is certainly close enough for my wife to sneak off for a booty call when I’m away. Just want to make sure that she’s not on the list.

*One of the guys I work with here did mention he was going for 18 so he’d have one for each hole, but I just thought that was bad golf humor.

I saw a list of 12 yesterday ,but cant find it.Had pictures of all of em,cept the one cocktail waitress.

Was Mrs Shibb one of them? I could really use the hush money about now.

So this is about the 12 Dates of Christmas?

The extra “Woods” appears to be a reference to the way “penis” is used as a meme on Fark.


I got right of the extra word [the title was originally “You beauty I’ve hit the lead in the Tiger Woods pool. Woods”], but I have to say it doesn’t help very much.

Yeah, somehow the OP seems to think the board is somehow supposed to immediately realize he’s riffing on something that happened in local meatspace. Guess we have to realign the deflector dish to modulate the signal.

Try reading it in Joshua’s voice from WarGames. It works.