You don't flame my troll posts...anymore

In the spirit of the impending PTP, I offer this expression to all the people that will decline the option of membership. It is sung to the tune of “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers” by Barbra Streisand and Neil Diamond

*You don’t flame my troll posts
You don’t respond to my threads

You never talk to me anymore
When I log onto the boards
At the end of the day

I remember when
You couldn’t wait to logon
You used to hate to logoff

Now after reading me late at night
You want to post but your wallet is light
Will you just click over and go post at Snopes?

And you don’t flame my troll posts…anymore

It used to be so natural
To talk about forever
But user fees aren’t just talk anymore

Ed will show you the door
‘Till you break down and pay

Baby I’ll remember
All the things you taught me

I learned how to laugh
And I learned how to cry

Well I learned how to felch
And I learned how to lie

So you think I could learn
How to tell you good-bye

'Cause you don’t say you need me
You don’t flame my troll posts
And you don’t respond to my threads…anymore*

:shrill whistling, enthusiastic applause:

Bravissimo! Encore!

And I kinda LIKE trolls!

There is a certain sadistic excitement to reading a troll’s post, and then seeing my betters rip said troll a new one…

I’ll miss that.

Well done, Krispy.

I’ll bet we could arrange one to the tune of “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling”, too. :slight_smile:

*You never reply to me anymore when I flame at yoooouuuu…

You’ve stopped critizing everything I doooooooo.*
Ok, I’ll stop before I knock out all the remaining Dopers, lol.

Soccer rules, you suck.

Did I miss something?

*I’m tryin’ hard not to flame ya (baby)
But baby, I just gotta shame ya!

I’ve lost that trollin’ feelin’
Pay-to-post got me reelin’
Boorishness I’M revealin’
Now I’m banned, banned, banned

Krispy hates soccer. You should see the veins pop out on his forehead when he hears someone yell “Goooooooaaaal!”


(And that’s a damn fine piece of writin’, Big K.)

What if you sign up, but they don’t even allow flaming any more? It will have been all for nothing.

You can’t see, 'cause I’m at my computer, but I’m holding my lighter up and swaying gently.

Heck, after PTP goes into effect, the administration could secretly give me the go ahead to troll…and I’d probably be able to lure in some lurkers. They’d pay to post to argue with me and call me names I betcha. I’d be a cash cow.

Good job Otto. I like that verse.

Homeslice, I loved your comment. Made me smile and laugh. It also gave me the urge to post a soccer troll…but I fought it off.

Sheesh. I’ve mellowed. I can’t even motivate myself to bring up controversial topics anymore. I recently considered some posts or threads in GD concerning a university study that seemed to conclude that prayer might have affected the success rate of invitro fertilization. I also almost posted about US Intelligence recently hiring Remote Viewers. But heck, I just can’t seem to get up for it…ya know? Besides, I haven’t seen much of DavidB lately, so what fun would it be anyway?

To the rest of you: Thanks for the comments on my stupid little song. :slight_smile:

To the tune of “How do I live” Apologies to Leann,Tricia and Krispy.

How can I flame without you?
you stupid troll.
How can I bitch about you
tell you where to go.

How can I ever suggest you felch goat?
How do I, Who do I flame?

Love is all around/
No need to fake i/
You’re going to make it after aaall !

“I’d be a cash cow.”
or jsut a cow…:wink:

can’t forget ta flame ya big guy

When I saw this thread title I thought it looked familiar. It’s deja vu…all over again!

No problem babe. Flame away…just don’t be two-timing me like I saw you doing over in that chicken wing thread in GQ…

Can hardly believe none of the ones who can has yet to do a parody to the tune of “What do you do if you’re branded?” Substitute “banned” for “branded,” of course.

Please someone tell me what this PTP is!

PTP is Pay To Post. It is not really accurate, since we intend to have a level of membership that cost nothing, but will still be able to post.