The problem with chicken is it is always…chicken. Sure there are a million recipes for it but the underlying protein always has the same character…chicken. Compare that to pork. Pork chops are a very different thing from ham which is very different from pork shoulder which is very different from bacon (and so on).
Also, pork sausages are leagues better than chicken sausages. Sit at a cafe in Spain and get a board of various pork sausages and some cheese and a glass of wine. Chicken just won’t suffice.
It was a tough choice for me between beef and seafood, in the end I went for beef as I don’t think I’d make full use of all the seafood varieties. I’d miss bacon of course, but I think I’d miss steak more. As for chicken - it’s just a conduit for other flavours, whereas a good steak or beefburger is the main event.
The vote surprised me. I was thinking that poultry would win hands down. There are so many ways to make chicken and so many ways to eat turkey. “Seafood” seems to eliminate walleye, pike, trout catfish, etc. Maybe the OP meant all fish?
I’ve always considered “seafood” all types of fish, including freshwater. It seems the FDA and Wikipedia do as well, but apparently a lot of people only consider saltwater fish “seafood” (which makes sense, if you’re taking “sea” literally, though we have a few “seas” that are not saltwater.)
Anyway, my choice was pork, because of all the versatile ways it can be prepared, from its various cured forms (prosciutto, jamon de iberico, salumi, pancetta, coppa, bacon, all sorts of cold cuts, etc.) to its fresh forms (sausage, stews, pulled pork, barbecued ribs, chicharonnes/pork rinds, pork chops, lard, salt pork, tenderloin, etc.) It’s just such a versatile meat.
That’s exactly my line of thinking as well- it’s extremely versatile, and is pretty different when you compare something like a apricot glazed pork loin to a cured and dried salami. And neither of those is that similar to a smoked pork butt. Bratwursts are pretty different than breakfast sausage, which is also quite different than a pork kielbasa.
Pork was the easy answer for me. Much more versatile than chicken, and more flavor. I don’t eat shellfish and limit my intake of “regular” fish due to concerns about mercury levels and overfishing, so that was an easy nope. I don’t actually eat beef that often.
I’m gonna assume the wizard is also gonna make the good stuff available to me, so with that assumption I, a mountain man many hours from the coast, am choosing seafood. Grilled salmon or tuna for when I crave heavy oily meat; smoked salmon or trout for when I want the umami kick that bacon gives; fried flounder or catfish for when I want fast food stuff; scallops for when I want candy; wild Atlantic shrimp for when I crave the world’s most delicious food.
Bacon I can take or leave, but Carolina pulled pork bbq is gonna be hard to give up. Same with a really good pub burger: impossible meats just don’t cut it. But good seafood is just so delightful that I’m gonna leave the wizard feeling outsmarted.
Poultry is even too large a category. Chicken is so versatile and absorbent of any flavor you want to add so I think I would miss it the most. Perhaps if I didn’t live 1000 miles from any ocean I would go sea food also.
Okay, I’d like to propose a secondary version of this thought experiment.
Rules
The Meat Wizard will ensure that your protein of choice is affordable (not free) and available for the rest of your life.
Affordable means that your grocery bill won’t change relative to a person of similar needs who doesn’t have a Meat Wizard on retainer
Availability is also relative to a normal person, so if you couldn’t reasonably get something today, the Meat Wizard won’t get it for you tomorrow.
The Meat Wizard will ensure that you do not suffer any ill effects (gout, mercury, high blood pressure, etc) from a less varied diet so long as you do not overindulge. If you eat like a king you’ll get gout like one, too.
Categories
Swine. Pigs and hogs of all types.
Bovids. This is cows, but also sheep, goat, bison, etc.
Fowl. Birds of all kinds.
Molluscs and crustaceans. This is shellfish, cephalopods, and even snails.
Fish. Fresh or saltwater.
I think these categories are more even in terms of variety.
I go with bovids. Free of cost and health restraints (within reason), I’m sticking with burgers and steaks. And beef bacon is pretty damned tasty.
For @Johnny_Bravo list I think I’d still have to go with swine (when I consider cured meats and sausages it wins every time). To be clear though, I like everything listed and would be ok with any as my only animal protein.
Tough call but I went with seafood. The one drawback would be finding stuff to eat when I’m traveling–I can imagine getting stuck with tuna or sardines as my only options in some places.