I’d be a pescatarian anyway if it wasn’t for poor impulse control, so if a wizard wants to force me to be one, fine by me.
If we ever get together in real life, i will ask you to cook some ostrich for me. I’ve had it three times, and it wasn’t very good any of those.
I’m sure there’s something i could cook for you in exchange. I don’t suppose you like some cranberry pie?
My initial thought upon reading the thread title was Pork. I love beef, but pork seems a little more versatile. But then I saw Seafood. Lots of variety there, especially if I could have any kind I wanted whenever I wanted it. Every time I eat fish, I think ‘I could eat fish every day.’ But I would love unlimited access to warm-water (spiny) lobster. And who doesn’t like an oyster po’boy? Or seafood chow fun?
The way I envisioned it, the wizard is casting a spell on you so that any protein other than your pick will have disastrous effects. He is not involved in the delivery of, access to, or subsidizing of your chosen protein.
Milk and eggs are fine regardless of your choice.
Eggs don’t count against you.
For people who don’t pick poultry, are they prevented from having any dish that has chicken stock in it? Because that could make going to most restaurants significantly complicated for the rest of their lives.
Thank you very much. Okay, with dairy and eggs in the safe zone (Yeeee-haw!) then I’m sticking with poultry for all the reasons stated in my first post in regards to the OPs scenario.
Reasonably cheap, quite versatile, availability across the board and a good range of flavor from chicken → turkey → DUCK → Ostrich. I’ll miss a whole lot of things, and thankfully I’ll also be able to duck @Shalmanese’s horrible life without chicken stock/broth.
And I’ll still curse the wizard (quietly, when I’m pretty sure they’re not looking) for the rest of my life.
I came in to say “eggs”, which by the choices left me with “poultry”, and then further clarification gave me free eggs, so now I need bacon and ham to go with them.
Pork for me (though I’d be perfectly happy with all venison, all the time, but that’s fighting the hypothetical).
Ostrich tastes like venison…
Also, if we’re going by the most maximalist interpretation, those who don’t pick seafood should basically write off ever going to a restaurant for Japanese food in Japan or any halfway authentic Japanese restaurant globally. When we were there, it was basically impossible to find many dishes that didn’t have some amount of dashi in it.
Even during the decades when I was a vegetarian, I never had the strength of character to turn down a lobster. It’s seafood for me.
But I will miss bacon and turkey something awful.
You missed the documentary?
I used to eat muttonbird*. It’s a bird, but it tastes like mutton!
How was it done?
Ostrich steak should be rare , and pairs well with sweetish sauces like a port wine sauce or …
cranberry & mushroom sauce, and cranberry & tangerine sauce, are actually both quite good with ostrich.
Ostrich carpaccio is good. Alternatively, ostrich fillet makes a great Wellington.
There are dashis made without fish - either seaweed-only or mushroom-only. Friend of mine is vegan and he said there were a couple of ramen chains he could eat at, as well as some more upmarket vegan restaurants.
Yeah, that’s why I specified restaurant. Cooking Japanese food at home is an easy sub.
Granted, I never tried but because dashi is introduced so early in the cooking process, I imagine that you’re restricted to vegan only dishes or very specific restaurants that are willing to make the swap for you.
I was just mainly very surprised at how dashi really snuck it’s way into everything when we were in Japan.
Every grocery store I’ve ever been in has considered eggs to be ‘dairy.’ I realize that’s not a scientific definition or anything, but still.
At least part of it was overcooked, gray and rubbery. Actually, now that you mention it, i remember picking out the pink parts to eat.
Sadly, my husband won’t eat rare meat, so i probably can’t try ostrich carpaccio with cranberry tangerine sauce at home. 
He also won’t eat fish, so on consideration, I’d better choose fowl.
I’m intrigued. Do you have a recipe?
I make a wild rice stuffing for duck and goose that is primarily flavored with cranberries and mushrooms. (Also sauteed onions, celery, parsley, salt, and pepper. And some butter or poultry fat to saute the veggies.)
It’s delicious, and goes well with game birds.