When someone famous dies, your first thought is “I gotta start a thread in Cafe Society.” A lot of that this year.
When you see “Cthulhu” so many times, you go look it up! (Cthulhu is a large green being which resembles a human with the head of a squid, huge bat-wings, and long talons (true, that doesn’t really resemble a human, but bear with me here). According to H. P. Lovecraft’s story “The Call of Cthulhu”, Cthulhu rests in a tomb in the city of R’lyeh, which sank beneath the Pacific Ocean aeons ago. Cthulhu is dead but not truly dead, as he and his fellow inhabitants of R’lyeh sleep the aeons away. (Cthulhu is generally thought of as a “he” for some reason.) From time to time R’lyeh comes to the surface, and Cthulhu’s dreams influence sensitive individuals across the globe to depict his image, slay, and found cults dedicated to him. In the past, R’lyeh has sunk after a short time, but the day will soon come when it rises to the surface permanently and great Cthulhu strides across a world thrown into chaos and anarchy from his telepathic sendings.) Cite.
Thank you, Dolores.
When you sit down to write about how really great the thread title is, and how everybody’s gonna read it, and that you were never fooled in the first place, only to find somebody else beat you to it 11 hours ago.
When you have three iterations of Netscape open, all pointed to different threads on the SDMB, all at the same time! Just cuz ya got three things going at the same time…
Yes! That is true for me… right now… got a problem with that? 
You assume any underlined text you read is a link to a website.
Everything you wanted to post has been posted already!
You know all the origins of the catch phrases.
You obsess about changing your sig.
When you almost sign personal emails to your friends with your Dope name, or an abbreviation of it.
(just did this two minutes ago; I was going to sign a Fellowship email “F_X”… luckily, I realized who I was sending it to and substituted my name)
F_X
Flam - When you just have to bump a month old thread? 
Dani
When you sit down to read SDMB, you feel like you’re home and all the relatives you really, really like are here. And a few of the assholes as well.
When your morning office routine is:
Come in
Dump bag at desk
Switch on monitor
Check email to see which threads people have responded to overnight
Load threads
Whilst waiting for threads to load, make coffee.
When you realise that you’d call an awful lot of people on the boards your friends.
I like this thread. Glad it was bumped.
When you rarely have less than a dozen “Reply To Post” emails per day.
When you can name more people you know on the Dope than you can in real life.
When the only time you have one browser open to the Dope is when you’ll be on for about 5 minutes.
When you see an interesting news article, and either post or plan to post about it.
When you start signing your emails by your Dopername and almost go by it on IM. In fact, I think I’m going to change my screen name to dwalin…
When you get into a verbal incident in real life eventually demanding a ‘cite’ and the person just looks at you blinking.
When you refer to a Magical Sky Pixie and no one else gets it.
When you get incredibly angry and annoyed, because the topic you to want reply in takes ABSOLUTELY forever to load…Then after it FINALLY has, you type your response, which takes ABSOLUTELY forever to be posted, and after waiting all that time, up comes the “Cannot Find Server” page.
So you then have to decide whether or not you could be bothered doing all that waiting all over again.
… usually I do, which proves I am, without a doubt, hooked! 
When EVERYTHING else takes second priority.
Hey - I thought this thread was gonna be about drugs?
[slight hijack]
Is #straightdope on undernet or eff?
[/slight hijack]
Not sure if this is what you are after:
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=229356
Thanks ccwaterback.
Bob
When you find out about all major news stories from the SDMB.
Really, I was here when I found out about 9/11, the Columbia accident, and Saddam’s capture.