You may be a Democrat at heart, but there's a Republican in your pussy.

The BBQ Pit
1

This article isn’t the most coherent thing I’ve ever read, but basically it is a carefully edited piece that paraphrases our Republican friends as such:

“We’re going to get away with anything we can in order to erode a woman’s right to an abortion.”

Fine, fuck it, it’s a partisan screed vomited forth from the newspaper that exposed the third-to-last Republican attempt to steal an election. You know what? Fuck you guys. It took less than sixty days for you sick Conservative missionary-stylers to rip off the clown suit and expose the fucking frock.

But now you’re fucking with the people I love best: women.

I will fight you, tooth and nail.

If the bullshit “mandate” that our righteous companions attempt to prosecute succeeds, the next time I lay pipe to a woman I might be bumping heads with Tom Delay and, no doubt eventually, Chief Justice Rehnquist.

Ladies, do you feel uncomfortable when you make a mistake? That’s a fucking gavel. I implore you to go register to vote now, and send these obnoxious fuckers to the cleaners come '02. The gloves are off, the fight is on, and you, personally, must participate if this disgusting social retrograde is to be averted.

It’s self-determination, or it’s Jesus, Janet. It’s not a matter of missing the boat. We need some Hell-wrought fury that will do some goddamned weather control.

2

Hey, Sofa:

Before you go too far off the deep end, remember the ‘Republican’ tent holds a lot 'o people, and your quarrel is only with one corner of it, a rather small one at that.

Watch how you swing that-there tar brush, buddy.

oh, JFR: That’s Rockefeller Republican to you. Don’t forget it.

3

Gee, you guys think Mr. King is a little miffed?

The article goes from “Hurting a fetus in an assault is bad” to “REPUBLICANS WANT TO FUCK OVER ALL WOMEN EVERYWHERE!!! GAAAAAAAAH!!!”

Yeah.

4

Tranquilis, mein froind, if you let this one get out of the goddamned revival tent I promise you I will blacken you from head to toe if you were in there. They’re fucking going for it. If you are a moderate Republican who accepts abortion, your last chance is to stop this is right now.

SPOOFE, pal, you might want to monitor developing information in this thread before your knee jerks straight into your own crotch, if such a thing is possible. The proposed legislation is out there, not finalized as of yet, as best I can tell, but circulating the Hill. I have seen it.

Don’t you dare dismiss this shit as a sky-squawk. If you’re for it, fine, but don’t wave me away like the fucking peasant who doesn’t have bread, motherfucker. It’s happening, and just like a house-cat spotting four inches of crack in an open door, your people are going for it. And once it gets rolling, bad legislation is mighty hard to stop.

That’s why I’ve started early.

5

From the article:

Damn those Republicans! How can we stand for this? Can’t you see this is just a vile attempt to undermine women’s rights? Beating 8 1/2 month pregnant women to death is what made this country great! It’s a cornerstone of liberal ideology!

Meanwhile I’ll just pretend that a very late term fetus isn’t a human being, and that cutting this viable human being who can feel pain apart, and removing it piece by piece, isn’t murder.

How dare anyone undermine our right to do these things?

I’ll give you a piece of unsolicited advice. Take your head out of the clouds of self-righteous banal stupidity, stop listening to the fucking idiots who tell you what the Republicans are arguing against, and look at the godawful heinous calamity that you are arguing for, you ignorant chucklehead.

6

Scylla, motherfucker, this is not an attempt to make a viable fetus safe, although that’s what the people before the press are saying. It’s an attempt legislate the sancitity of all fetuses, regardless of their stage of development. You’re citing the rhetorically stated argument that belies the true intent of the fucking legislation, which is to give legal status to a motherfucking fetus, period, and to ensure that Uncle Sam gets right in between the legs of anyone who might be carrying such an entity, theoretically from day one.

Call me a chucklehead again, and come Monday I’ll bring the Government Printing Office down on your ass. Until then, I suppose you just have to take my word for it. If it gets delayed until Wednesday, somebody got through to these bastards and changed the language, and you can call me Chicken Little all the fuck you want.

7

OK, Sofa, I understand your fear and anger, but I’m gonna tell you right now:

If you EVER lump me in with these bastards, I’ll kick your virtual nuts right up to your ears. That, sir, is my Sworn Word.
You don’t gain allies by threatening them. I’m far more use on this one as your ally on the inside, than I would be If I were pissed-off at both sides of the debate. Don’t antagonize me.

This monstrosity may, in fact, escape it’s cage, no matter how hard I try to stop it, but never doubt I’m with you on this one. All the way. Have you got Bill Numbers or Sponsers? I didn’t see anything specific in the cites (I’m going back and reading them again, anyway).

8

“Motherfucking fetuses” and “Republicans in your pussy.”
…and now we claim to be fighting to help women? Yeah your a sensitive and caring guy allright.

The flake factor rises yet again.

9

Scylla, this from a guy who went after goat nuts with a rubber band?

You can keep your flake factor to yourself - and I’ll sincerely thank anyone who wants to protect me and my reproductive rights, without taking issue with his language, thankyoooooo veery much.

10

Tranquilis, first please accept my apologies if I offended you and also know that even through the haze of my rage I carefully did not include you with those bastards except by party association. Bastards whom, if you are a voting Republican, you will have to eventually accept as members of the party for which you voted and who are the prosecutors of this agenda. I also appealed to your better judgement, which you obviously have in spades.

I fully realize that there are many facets to party affiliation, but I will lay the onus upon Republicans should this proposed legislation come to pass.

This end-run is proposed legislation, which means it makes the fax run to hundreds of different offices before it is officially released. It’s always in the form of a bill, but with no number. There’s a lot of politics involved in the fax-out alone. Leaks cannot be contained, and The Post is obviously at the top of the list, because the cited article’s observations appear to differ somewhat from the late-evening fax that my office got. That is the nature of the beast. Aside from scanning the article to a personal website and displaying it, which might cost me my job, I can only ring the alarm bells, as our local paper has done.

Scylla, the Gordon Liddy school of language dissection sounds great on the fucking radio, but you fucking know what the fuck I’m fucking saying right the fuck now, so take that chump-ass snipe and put it right between your cheeks. When you become less easy to dismiss, I will address your arguments again.

11

Lost:

Those reproductive rights work both ways. Someone who assaults you and causes you to abort your fetus against your will by doing so, has not only assaulted you, they have compromised your legal reproductive rights.

They should be punished for both.

That’s how I see it, rhetoric and sword waving aside.

Thanks for reminding about that rubber band. Maybe I have an extra one for Sofa.

12

Whatever steam fills the bag, dude.

13

Scylla’s first point was quite valid I think because it was the first point made in the article:

I don’t see what this has to do with abortions, really. It gives stiffer penalties to someone who would attack a pregnant woman. This bill in and of itself is a good thing. It does NOT signal a slippery slope. If it eases your conscience any, don’t think of the fetus as alive, merely as an irreplaceable object which is protected by law from unwanted harm.

14

Sofa, who the flying farting fuck are you to accuse me of kneejerking?

15

Oooooooo. A tough guy. Fortunately I’m fluent in Fuckspeak:

Listen here you fucking fuck. Take your fucking thumb out of your fucking ass and fucking wise up. You wouldn’t be such a fucking chucklehead if you stopped fucking reaching so fucking much and jumping at fucking subtextual shadows on the fucking wall.

Saying I know what your saying is a fucking poor fucking excuse for making a rational and cogent fucking argument, but in fact you are 100% a-fucking correct. I know exactly what the fuck you’re talking about.

That’s the fucking problem. Your simplistic fucking bullshit is eminently fucking comprehendable, and I have no fucking problem seeing it for the fallacious pile of contemptible ad-hoc, knee-jerk, quasi-paranoid, provincial, sheltered, Republican hating liberal assed bile that it fucking is.

It’s fucking blinded you to fucking blatantly obvious and factual point of the whole fucking thing which is that attacking a pregnant fucking women and injuring to the point where she fucking aborts against her fucking will is an act which representsw two fucking crimes, and as such should be punished more fucking harshly than a single fucking crime.

You can fucking look at it two fucking ways.

Fucking 1. Assaulting a person and there reproductive rights.

Fucking 2. Assaulting 2 people.

It doesn’t fucking matter which way you fucking look at it, fucking democrat, or fucking Republican.

It would fucking seem like something that reasonable fucking people from both fucking parties would find particulary fucking heinous.

Fucking get it?

16

That’s the important word, right there. If legislation is passed which can be interpreted to have bestowed personhood on a fetus, it’s a pretty small step to declare that abortion is the murder of a person, and thus illegal. It’s barely even a slippery slope argument, the chain of inference is so short.

17

As a proud white male Republican I can only say:

A: I respect Sofa’s views. Don’t agree with them, but I respect them.

B: Until the most basic rights are extended to all, men, women, children, and the unborn, we are all enslaved.

C: I vote. Every time. So unless there comes a point in time that you can "really really mean it " when you vote, I will be there to cancel you out.

So ththhhpppffftt!!! Rant all you want. I’ll just vote and in that one sweet glorious stroke I will ensure that your “life’s but a walking shadow; a poor player,that struts and frets his hour upon the stage,and then is heard no more: it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,signifying nothing.”

18

What evidence is there that an 8 1/2 month old fetus isn’t a person? Indeed, there exists much evidence to the contrary… the fact that babies have been born, and lived, at such a time. In fact, two weeks early is hardly considered a big deal anymore (well, compared to two months premature, that is).

So, what evidence is there that suggests when a fetus is or isn’t a “person”?

19

That’s a sig line with a lot of aliteration! Can I use it???

20

IMHO, a lot of people are missing the point regarding abortion…

Exactly WHAT the fuck is a human being, and WHEN does this lump of rapidly multiplying cells inside a woman’s uterus BECOME a human being?

I don’t have the answers here… I have some beliefs, but they are based on nothing other than my own personal predjudices.

I DO know this, however: AT SOME POINT, THAT LUMP OF CELLS BECOMES A HUMAN BEING! When exactly? I dunno! A second before it emerges from the vagina, or WHEN it emerges from the vagina? That seems stupid! A week before it comes out? That seems stupid too! A month before? Stupid!

So, then… exactly fucking WHEN? As I said: I don’t know! Until I DO know, for a fact, the time at which a lump of cells becomes a person, I will disagree with the whole concept of abortion; and continue to allow others to make up their OWN minds.

In short:
Do I agree with abortion? NO!
Do I think abortion should be made illegal in the US or elsewhere? NO!!
Let’s face it: there is a LOT that we do not know or understand about what it means to be human/alive/conscious/in this universe… and until we know ALL of the answers (Is there a God? Is life sacred? If there is a God, what does he want? In short, WTF??) there will ALWAYS be some grey areas that we cannot legislate or control! There HAS to be some point at which we stop, and say “OK, let each person decide for him/her self.”

I DO believe in God, I AM a Republican (as the better choice of two fucking POOR choices), I am NOT (so far, at least) a Christian. And I would like to believe that if Astrofiancee were to get pregnant (let’s leave “wanted” versus “unwanted” for another thread, please; as often we do NOT KNOW what we want or don’t want until we have it!) we would simply have the baby, and deal with whatever difficulties/joys that that would entail… but I don’t know that for sure! I have never been in that situation!

Life is full of problems, big and small… and I don’t feel wise enough to LEGISLATE solutions to everyone else’s problems!

Is abortion murder? IMHO: Maybe in some cases (those done early)… YES in other cases (those done very late)… however, I feel that we have to, at some point, trust others enough to respect their decisions about things that are of belief, not hard fact…