HEY, I take exception to the word “gringo.”
Why can’t you just refer to yourself as a caucasian?
The word “caucasian” sounds like “cock” and “asian” which is like insulting an entire continent, you born out of wedlock entity.
The only true surprise is that Quiddity Glomfuster hasn’t shown up yet to chide us for our insensitivity towards the English-[del]disabled[/del]differently abled, who for all we know may be suffering from a rare genetic disorder that renders them incapable of pronouncing voiceless fricatives such as th, and won’t you feel dumb when it happens to you, because karma’s a bitch.
Well, I can’t say “white” either.
How about “pale?” I usually write “Celtic” on any forms requiring me to state my race.
Only about half of the population of a continent, you sexist pig.
How dare you insult all of our Jewish and Muslim brethren and sistren!
That’s IT. I have had it up to here <Points finger at the sun> with you jackass offenderati. Every time one of you namby-pamby fools rears your ugly head in a thread it derails a perfectly good story and besmirches it with your holier than thou stain.
You know what? Quit wasting our time with your personal crusade to defend the downtrodden, because here, right HERE there is nothing to get all twisted up and outraged about. Your furor over nothing is becoming tiresome. It has been done and done and done to death. Go join Amnesty International and DO something constructive if you have to, because there are far larger injustices in the world that actually need physical help. This thread and many like it are not one of those places.
As much as you’ve learned to search for the small things in life to get offended and scream about, I will hopefully someday learn to tune you dolts out. Think less of me? No problem there. I wish you into the cornfield. So it doesn’t matter. So there. Gah.
Several years ago I went to China for an extended trip providing construction supervision. Before I left I had a Chinese guy in my office teach me two things in Mandarin. I learned to say, “I only know two sentances in Mandarin” and “This is the other one”.
Well, I thought it was funny, but I guess I was an American bastard.
Sistren sounds like cistern you misogynistic piece of shit.
In which case you know that “Pale” is an insult to the Irish who were forced out of the Dublin region by the oppressive English!
The OP is an insult to the whole Mexican race. And you can rest assured that the mods will turn a blind eye — just as they do routinely when people bash the French race or the Canadian race.
Oh, and Monkey? Good OP. Avi’s a punk!
There was nothing xenophobic about the thread title. Since Mexicans are the main Spanish-speaking group in the US, it’s perfectly reasonable to reference them.
I hope you won’t take “offense” when I point out that those who insist on parsing Pit threads just to find some trivial point to be offended about so that they can assert some kind of moral superiority over others come across as twits.
Now, just look! You’ve gone and insulted the pigs!
I clicked on this thread so I could use my ultra politically correct e-penis to dominate the thread and draw attention to how refined my delicate sensibilities are, but I can see that’s no longer necessary.
I suppose I should contribute to the thread and not the hijack. Seems like the nice thing to do after all. 
I’m an interesting looking creature, in that I’m from Southern Italian stock and that half of me makes me quite the tan, ethnic looking little white girl. Being from California, no one seems to know what Italian folks look like, so half of the time people think I’m white, while the other half of the time people assume I’m Hispanic (usually Puerto Rican or Brazilian). I also sound like a total valley girl when I talk, so it’s understandable that many would just assume I’m some ditzy gringa. Of course, I’m fluent in Spanish, but few people realize that.
I can’t tell you how many times we’ve had people around doing any number of things (work on houses, tenants in said houses, etc. and so forth) that suddenly don’t speak English when something is asked of them (you know, like, “Pay the goddamned rent. It’s the 12th, for God’s sake”**). Of course, I’ll hear them turn around and say something to their buddy like, “This stupid gringa doesn’t know that I speak perfect English!” At this point I’m usually glaring and the buddy will say (in Spanish, of course): “Uh, dude, me thinks she speaks Spanish.” To which idiot the first will usually say, “Nooo! White people don’t speak Spanish. Look at her, she’s just a dumb white girl.”
That’s generally where I break out the Spanish and start informing them of the legal process that will be taking place if they don’t get us the rent by the end of the business day.
**I should note that the lack of paying rent isn’t exclusively Hispanic by any stretch of the imagination and I’m not trying to suggest that. White people don’t pay their rent. Black people don’t pay their rent. I have a feeling polka dotted people wouldn’t pay their rent either. Cheapness and trying to get something for nothing is something that crosses all the bounds of race, religion, and sex. Sort of sweet, right? “We are the woooooooooorld. . .”
Why do you have to single out the delicate sensibilities? You could have just said “sensibilities.”
Of course I considered it . Did you miss the part where I said we hired 2 spanish people to take care of those specific customers? :dubious:
It’s not all about the money. My crew and I make customers for life.
That sounds dangerous. What if you get too close to a powerful magnet?
Jesus H. Fucking Christ on a pogo stick! Are you kidding me?
Would you truly have preferred a title that read “You non-native-English-speaking-but-actually-speaks-a-bit-of-English-despite-pretending-not-to bastard”?
As for just seeing the thread title, Dopers will probably do exactly what i did. Think to themselves, “Mmmm, that title is rather provocative. Let’s open the thread and see what it’s all about.” And when they do that, they’ll find that there’s nothing at all inappropriate, racist, or xenophobic about the OP.
But there’s nothing at all xenophobic about the OP, nor about the way he told his story, nor about the title of the thread. The title, by itself, might give some people pause, but when read in conjunction with the actual story, tells us nothing about how the OP views the world except that he doesn’t like to be lied to and taken for a fool by his employees.
Anyway, to the topic at hand. The only time i’ve really had occasion to try this sort of thing was when i lived in the UK and was pulled over by the police. On one occasion, i was lost and had made three circuits of a roundabout trying to figure out where to get off, and a cop pulled me over. I made with my strongest possible Crocodile-hunter-style Australian accent, combined with the dumb tourist look, and the cop very nicely gave me directions. Also worked once when i made an illegal right turn.