When you want the answer to a question, your first instinct is to start a new thread in the general questions sections of this board.
I have almost given up all other forms of research. There is NOTHING these people don’t know.
You say “Og forbid” in conversation, or to avoid taking the Lord’s name in vain, “Og sometimes you just don’t come through” when singing along with Tori Amos.
Agreed. My current information retrieval process is as follows:
- Brain - contains enough to surprise me on occasion
- Google - Mr. Google knows all, and I’m pretty decent at getting him to reveal it to me
- GQ - if Mr. Google doesn’t know it, or if he won’t tell it to me, somebody here either knows it or can make the G-man talk.
If that particular triad ever fails me, I don’t know what I’m gonna do.
As for “You might be a Doper if…”, whenever I see a smiley face, I am sorely tempted to add some eyebrows and a sideways T: :dubious: If nothing else, it’s cut down on the number of “inspirational messages” on the whiteboard at work, because
HAVE A GREAT NIGHT! 
sends an altogether different message when it becomes
HAVE A GREAT NIGHT! :dubious:
Personally, I vastly prefer the second, but oddly, management seems to disagree.
…when faced with a tough decision, you think, WWTD (What Would Tuba Do?).
Or, maybe not.
[color=purple]… You’ve ever had the misfortune of being graped by a grapist**.[/color]
You made a bracelet that says “OG SMASH!”
… know how shocking the Goatse and Tubgirl images are…
Even if you have never ever seen them!
(and I’m not lying here!!)
Put vBulletin code in emails and IM.
See a mention of a Doper event long in the past and spend the next three days reading about it.
File “SDMB subscription” under Essential (or some equivalent) in your household budget.
Use GQ instead of Google for questions that are more complicated than simple facts, such as the difference between a wood and an iron (which I was wondering about today).
Detest, loathe, and abhor animated smilies and avatars.
Guilty as charged.
You have memorized complete lists of
- the offspring of animals (kangaroo = joey)
- collective nouns (a crash of rhinoceros)
- collateral adjectives (snowlike = nival)
… if you have several ideas on how to kill evil nazi groundhogs.
… if you know what happens to semen when it’s pan fried.
Or fed to a fish.
You’ve ever yelled out “Gotcha ya!” or “Now I burning your dog!” in real life.
Misfortune? I consider my graping by The Grapist to have been an honor.
If you…
…have discaussions about 1920’s style death rays in real life.
…notice your friend scominginto you’re room and saying “Ugh. The Dope again.”
…consider it a part of any good night to post at least 3 times.
…feel the need to end a list with “Hi Opal!”
If you:
-got all excited when quick replies came in
-you tell people you know IRL about threads you read as part of ordinary conversation
-you have heated arguments at the computer about how stupid some random doper is
-you sign your roommate up for an account as a birthday gift
-you spend hours talking to someone you’ve never met, but who got your screen name off the boards (Hi ZebraShaSha)
-you ponder whether or not to change your screen name for hours
-you are more excited about what Secret Santa got for you than what anyone you actually know got you
-you look said when no one gets your death ray allusions.
-you wonder if anyone you see on a daily basis is a doper
…and there are quite a few other similarly shocking images out there (this is what I get for also hanging out at forums frequented by SomethingAwful junkies) :smack:
Yeah. That.
Realize that the more embarrassing and personally humiliating public or private act of stupidity that you have just done can some how be turned into a SDMB spectacle for everyone’s amusement.