I think what she’s getting off on is the idea that she’s the sweaty, hardworking Ma Ingalls type of gal, who gives birth in the fields and says “Ain’t got time for the pain” and goes back to threshing while the child is miraculously swaddled and sleeping. We’re all supposed to admire her work ethic at how she’s willing to go back to work with stitches and pain and her eye falling out and a missing arm.
It’s not admirable, IDBB. Giving up YOUR ‘fun’, and DSL and second car is what would be admirable.
I have a very good friend who’s also having infertility issues and it’s shown me something.
The fact that someone as immature and irresponsible such as IDBB can “accidentally” get pregnant while responsible, caring, mature people like you and my friend cannot just brings home the fact that life is fucking unfair.
I am very, very sorry to hear about your situation.
As far as I have personally met and interacted with, Dopers are some of the nicest people around. I have read countless threads where strangers were helping others out, morally and financialy, with no strings attached. I saw how people came around and helped others out and I was really impressed by that. It really irks me to see someone abuse this.
Her typical scenario is that she will bitch and moan about something and people will offer to help her. They have offered advice. They have offered to help her on a more personal level (via IM or emails). But, as we all know, she ignores it all and (I believe purposely) creates a train wreck. She gets off on it, I swear. Why else would she a) not close the journal off to non-friends and b) constantly post her gripes here.
I know I haven’t been the nicest person to her here. I tried once, but, well, what was the point?
So then I disregarded her - glossing anything started by IDBB. All was swell. Then she has the balls to change her name (which USUALLY in those types of situations indicates a change for the poster… a chance to get a fresh start). I came into this thread and was initially fooled by the name change.
At that point, I was pretty irate. I am irate that she would use Dopers, irate that her TV is more important than her kid, irate at this constant stirring of shit she does.
And while it could be said, “Babs, honey, just go back to ignoring her”, I am just so sick of the constantness of it that I hope, sincerely, that this will be her clue to leave the Dope already.
First of all, I’m sick of the IDBB, 80sMM, lj name confusion. She has given her first name in a thread and on teemings; her name is Gail. I’m just gonna call her Gail.
And I don’t know why we can’t just put Gail’s live journal name on here because that’s how I found it- she linked to it in a thread. Would a passing moderator mind giving a word of wisdom on this issue?
I guess it would be easier for someone to e-mail me the link thus avoiding any privacy violations from posting a live journal address. I’m still curious though about the answer to your post, sugaree.
This thread is making me cry. Seriously. And I don’t do that. I’m hoping to wake up and realize it was all a dream.
IDBB, you may be a lost cause, but your new baby sure as hell isn’t. I don’t care what you need to do to change your life, but you need to fucking do something You don’t need to do it for yourself, but you fucking need to do it for your child. If you don’t understand that, then you have no fucking right to be even THINKING about raising a kid.
We could, of course, link to our own Live Journals or our own webpages, and many people have those links on their profiles or in their posts. But I think it would be considered to be a breach of privacy to link to someone else’s journal without their permission. In addition, the rules state not to bring disputes from other communities here, or SD disputes to other communities, so linking to an LJ is a grey area.
But again, Gail put those links to her own journals up herself.
This LJ thing doesn’t make any sense. On the first page I said to be fair a link was really necessary. Now granted you can email the link back and forth, but how is that any different from just posting the darn thing.
I understand what a live journal is. I just can’t comprehend how some people seem to view it as both some kind of private diary and a web page that millions of people can access by casual surfing.
My feeling is that if you come in to bitch about something to do with your journal the least you can do is link to it. It’s kind of like those people who bitch about the politicians in their state and won’t tell us where they are located.
Yes, when you’ve overextended with “payments” it would seem the simplest advice is to move, return furniture, sell a car. But you know, those things aren’t exactly what we’d call liquid assets and except for the house, they’ve depreciated in value since being purchased. Moving expenses also add to the cost of selling a house.
Obviously they need to cut expenses, and soon (because no pregnant woman can guarantee she’ll be working until delivery–bed rest is always one possibility). But I don’t know if we’re being helpful with some of the more extreme suggestions.
Did you know about the lucrative business of plasma selling? It’s all the rage with pregnant mothers these days.
And I hear there’s a killer black market for livers these days. Don’t worry MetalMaven, there’s no ice or bathtubs involved.
But wait, there’s more! If you act now, I’ll send you this handy dandy pamphlet entitled “making $10,000 in your spare time with just a newspaper and a piece of cheese” ABSOLUTELY FREE!
Do you know the number of strip clubs out there just begging for pregnant dancers? This is a capitalist society baby. Where there’s a need, fill it!
Turn your furniture into firewood and really see the savings!
And remember this key slogan: You’ve got a friend in Ramen. Fortified with three extra salts for all your baby’s sodium needs!
IF you really don’t care enough about this child to do what you have to do to take care of him/her (which, among dozens and dozens of other things, is definitely not going back to work after a week–even if your employer will allow it and if they are reputable they won’t for legal reasons since you will not have a doctor’s release) and
IF you are this completely ambivalent about what needs this child will have
then please, please consider adoption. I don’t advocate the taking away of children from their parents unless it would absolutely be in their best interest without question. I don’t see that this is the case here so I don’t think anyone should advocate taking the child away.
What I am advocating is that you truly and seriously think about whether you can give up all you have to in order to ensure this child is provided for. If you don’t think you can, there’s nothing wrong with that. If you can’t, you can’t. But it is your responsibility as a human being to not make the child suffer because of it.
Giving your child up for adoption so that he/she has a better life than you are able to provide is not shameful–it is wonderful. It is the most precious gift you can give to someone who can provide for a child.
This is one of the most important decisions you will ever have to make. Yes, you got pregnant. But you do not just have to suck it up and do what you can with what you have. It isn’t noble and it isn’t brave–it’s cruel to the child if you only see him/her as something you just have to deal with.
Please be mature with this one decision. It is more brave and noble to make the right decision than to lament the wrong one for years to come.
Bren said, "Everything in my house is either inherited or picked up at garage sales. "
Right fucking on. My girlfriend just moved into a gigantic new house, and their living room was entirely empty. She furnished it, completely (including knick-knacks and art) for $150 on garage sale finds. That’s two chairs, a couch three tables, lamps two paintings, plant stands, small framed art, candles, coasters, the works.
I purchased custom furniture a few years ago. About $3000 worth. I’m making triple payments at $150. Her figure of $500 per month is bullshit.