Apparently some of you have had exclusive contact with reasonable, thoughtful human beings who choose carefully based on the knowledge they possess, and who change their decisions as their knowledge is revised.
Not everybody’s like that.
This Gail/IDBB/Maven character is just like my mother-in-law, and my father - people who have decided that their life is going to be miserable and therefore nothing anyone can say will change it. They’re victims for life. People like that will drag down everyone else in their world rather than face their fears - which makes her use of the word “coward” in the thread title all the more ironic.
Whacking her upside the head with a verbal 2x4 is brutal, but necessary. And cathartic for the rest of us who’ve been reading her drivel.
Excuse me, she is NOT endangering the baby. She is TALKING now about planning to do something six months in the future that IYO might endanger the baby.
Right now she’s a three month pregnant woman. Virtually every working woman who gets pregnant works at least through the second trimester – surely you don’t think they are all endangering their babies?
Her plan may change as pregnancy’s inevitable changes intrude on her life. Why is it so important to beat her up about it RIGHT NOW?
I don’t feel all warm and fuzzy about this whole thread either…
What brought me in was that I was familiar with 80’sMM from the baby threads we have been in together. I had no idea she was IDBB. I just had an off feeling when she would come out with some disturbing comment out of the blue. I honestly feel for the child.
When my brother’s girlfriend got pregnant and the two of them were 19 and jobless and living with my mom and I myself was a brand new mom… I offered to adopt their child. Turns out there was no baby and the girlfriend was lying to get my brother “motivated.” He was motivated all right… right into a 10 year prison sentence. I know all about trying to help those who can’t seem to help themselves.
What really threw me was what she posted in my thread. I am still floored.
I know my husband and I would give an arm to have his grandmother here when her great grandson was born but she passed away in June. And if you do the math it has been 4 months and her estate is still tied up in the preliminary stages of probate… No one knows when it will be resolves… So just to let 80MM know… this is not a viable maternity leave plan even if grandma should die tomorrow. I am horrified by this line of thinking!
She is three months pregnant and she can see the baby smile on ultra-sound (among other outrageous claims not to exclude prior claims of “medical” conditions)?!?!?!?!?
:::cough::: bullshit :::cough:::
Does anyone here know her personally? Have they met her? Jeeezuz people, read everything she has written here and in her LJ. She is full of shit.
Okay, Okay. If she goes through with her current planning, the baby will be endangered. If I say I’m gonna kill somebdy, it can have consequences nearly as dire as if I actually kill them.
Doesn’t matter anyway, as she’s 80’sKayceeNicoleMaven.
Once again, if this is your impression of the feedback she has received, after reading not only this thread but her LJ, then either you are privy to a wealth of anti-Gail sentiment unknown to the rest of us, or you do not have good reading comprehension skills.
The notion that the OP of this thread wasn’t a whiny pity post is as accurate as your quoted statement, kambuckta.
I told myself after my two posts I was not going to respond to any more of this thread but I can’t seem to help myself.
My facility is licensed for children from 0 months to 13 years. That is exactly how it is phrased on my license. However, I would not accept a child who is only a week old. The only way I would is if it is an extreme emergency for the parents; a medical situation is the only reason I can think of. All of the infants that have been in my care have been around 2 months old at the time of enrollment.
A newborn needs to be with his/her mother for at least a month. The two need to bond.
As for being thrifty (mentioned by many people), most people have to be in order to make it through this economy. I may own a business but it’s still very tough. My bedroom furniture is the same furniture (except for the bed which is a futon) my brother had in his bedroom 25 years ago. The living room furniture is the same suit my parents bought 23 years ago. It’s still useable! Amazing what good care can do for furniture. My desk is one a co-worker gave to my dad and he passed it on to me. One bookcase was given to me by a friend who was redecorating. It was handmade by her husband and extremely sturdy. The other ones are from Wal-Mart. The dinning room table was hand made by one of my uncles. The artwork on my walls was painted or sketched by either my mother or myself. Except for a dragon print by Ruth Thompson that I saved up to buy and a cottage scene I bought for $10. Knick-knacks and such were all gifts from family and friends. My carpet came from a bank that was being refurbished. The carpet was brand new when I got it. My dad is a commercial plumber and was re-doing the bank’s plumbing. When the carpet was offered to him he took it and I reaped the benefits. We get quite a few things this way. I love hand-me-downs. Ten years ago we were given a coffee table someone was going to throw out. My mother and I stripped it, stained it and painted roses on it. Even my truck is a hand-me-down. My dad wanted a new one but instead of using his old one as a trade in it ended up in my possession. The most expensive item in my house is my computer and I make monthly payments on it.
The only point to any of my posts here was to give her a little insight into what to expect from a childcare facility. The majority of new parents don’t realize what all is expected of them when they enroll their infant. I have had many meetings with new parents/potential clients and have seen the overwhelmed and bewildered expressions on their faces. New situations can be daunting for people.
There really isn’t any point to this post except I hope everything works out for the best for her and her child. Being a new mother isn’t easy. I’m several years older than her and even at my age (30), and after making a career out of taking care of other people’s children and helping to raise my three nieces I can’t honestly say I am ready to be a mother. I don’t think anyone can say that. I do hope she takes the good advice offered by many Dopers and if she needs the assistance she actively seeks it out.
Elaelle, how much would one week’s care cost at your facility? What’s the hourly rate? Do you charge extra for anything? Night care? Anything else of note?
Guys, most of you are great. You’ve offered up some very good, in fact, excellent advice. Some of you have really taken all of this to heart. Please, please do NOT be upset, have hurt feelings, be angry, pissed, rude, etc. when it all comes out that none of this is true. She is pushing your buttons people. Read her threads with your mind, not your heart. And yes, if you could access her LJ, you’d see what the rest of us have already found out when you put it all together. It does not add up, it’s inconsistent, and it’s full of lies. Everyone wants to believe the best in people and that they wouldn’t pull a hoax like this. But we’ve seen it before. This ain’t the first time, it won’t be the last time. That’s why a lot of us stand back and observe and don’t get mixed up in a pile of shit like this. But hey, if it rocks your boat keep on going. Just don’t be surprised.
The weekly rate for an infant in my facility is $125. I don’t have any extra fees or hidden costs but I do know of several in my area that do. One facility, for instance, charges for each diaper used if the ones the parent provides isn’t enough for the day.
If by hourly rate you mean how much I would charge for a child being there only a couple of hours, it depends. We don’t normally go by hours. We do it in full/half day increments. The state defines a half day as anything under 6 hours and a full day as anything over 6 hours. We try to be as reasonable as possible. If an infant is in my care, for say 3 to 6 hours but is not enrolled then I would charge $12.50. If the child is in my care for 6 hours or more then the rate is $25 for one day. Generally, I don’t take infants as drop-ins, that is children who are in my care only once or on very rare occasions.
I don’t offer night care. My facility hours are 6 a.m. to 6 p.m.
But keep in mind my operation is small. It’s a fully licensed daycare facility capable of enrolling 36 children but, unfortunately, at the time I opened several others did too. So, at the moment, supply is exceeding demand. There are changes being made at one other facility in my town that could directly effect my business. That facility is working towards no longer accepting a widely used assistance program and the only other one (a home-based facility) in town is licensed for only 12 children and is already filled to capacity.
The most important point I cannot stress enough to any parent, no matter how many children you have or if you’ve used daycares before, is to research that facility. Ask questions. Call your state’s Department of Protective and Regulatory Services.
Being in the loop, so to speak, I hear many things that parents do not. On-going investigations. Never take anything for granted when it comes to your child’s well-being. I’ve heard a lot of horror stories but it makes me strive to improve my facility and myself.
I’ve known Isis (Gail, Maven, IDBB) for about 5 years now…well, as much as someone can know anyone through on-line messages and one phone call.
She has a lot of flaws. She’s an attention whore, a back stabber, and a liar. She faked a pregnancy once on the blogging site freeopendiary.com (once she was found out, she turned it into a fanfiction index), and she’s tried to hack into my livejournal at an attempt at getting a code which I, might I add, already promised her.
But she’s not the anti-christ. Sure, I’ve gotten sick of her bullshit to the point that I avoid her, but I don’t think she warrants this much controversy. Really.
This thread has garnered so much attention because she has basically worn out her welcome with a great number of people here. She always posts these pity parties; when they fall apart on her, she takes off. Later the next week, she’ll post another one. This is LJ stuff that doesn’t really fit in here.
In addition, there are a lot of truly helpful, intelligent, and kind posters here and some of us are tired of seeing these people constantly being sucked into helping her.
I know. Lord, how I know she thirsts for drama. I’m not saying she doesn’t deserve what she gets, and I’m not saying she isn’t a damn moron. She’s allways been an attention whore, even in the days of the CATS rpg era.
I was just giving the viewpoint of someone who has had the fortune/misfortune of knowing her personally.
And I’m still sort of confused about the whole livejournal code thing. And why she had to post her confession on numerous public forums. Oh, right…the attention thing.
Maybe it’s because I’m not a trusting person, but this, crispety, is a suspicious character.
A new member.
That has three posts.
And all three posts are in this thread.
Yes, I’m going to interrogate you, whoever you are.
What is your purpose here?
Have you joined this message board just to tell us she doesn’t deserve this controversy and therefore not worth the time, therefore we should stop with this “dogpile”?
If not, please clarify, because you seem veeery shady right now.