You Nameless, Faceless coward

The BBQ Pit
121

I’ve been debating with myself on whether to “out” this information, but I think I know why Maven isn’t responding to any of the excellent thoughtful, realistic, caring, detailed suggestions given here. Aside from her “I just want to complain and feel sorry for myself because I’m the world’s biggest victim” personna. She actually has another strategy in place - in the MPSIMS breastfeeding thread she explained that if Grandma kicks off soon, her inheritance will take care of the cash flow issue.

Somebody should warn Grandma to hire a food taster!

I sure hope for the baby’s sake that everything I’ve been reading about the overwhelming nature of the maternal instinct is true. If Maven learns to redirect her enormous self-pity/blame the minorities energy into caring for someone else, she’ll probably do a great job of mothering. Particularly if she learns to take 100% responsibility for herself & quit being a coward. But if not…

122

fessie, that’s kind of shitty. She’s not rubbing her hands together, waiting for her grandma to die. She said something like “if she dies (goddess forbid)…”

I didn’t take it as a “strategy” on her part. Sorry to drag LJ stuff to the SDMB, but I think you misinterpreted it.

123

What about working opposite shifts? Can’t one person work a first shift and the other work a second shift so daycare isn’t needed? Not a week after the birth, but later?

124

What about working from home? Are there any low-skill jobs people can do from home? My Mum dealt with this problem by working from home, when we were babies and all through school.

It was great having her there when we got home from school, too.

125

Wrong Girl, fessie was referring to a MPSIMS thread, not her lj comments.

I had a shred of sympathy for you for a while, Maven. But after you said Damn Kid, you fucking lost me. End of story.

126

The Wrong Girl it is shitty, you’re right, but so is playing with people’s generosity and the time they spend giving thoughtful advice. And it wasn’t on her LJ (I don’t have the foggiest idea how to access that, nor any interest in doing so) but in MPSIMS, in tanookie’s thread. As soon as I saw that post I knew she was IDBB.

And I do think it’s why she’s ignoring other advice - she’s clearly fixated on someone “saving” her. This is only the second thread of hers that I’ve read, and I’m already sick of her crap. Especially the too-good-for-an-apartment part. Fuck you. And you’ve got two cars? We only bought a second car a few years ago, after Hubby finished his Ph.D., and only then because our Honda had 150,000 miles on it (and I was 34 yrs old at the time). Plus, I don’t have a degree & I sure wasn’t limited to fast-food jobs; I’ve had a lot of different jobs in various industries & for the most part (truly heinous bosses/conditions aside) jobs are what you make them. Crap people make crap jobs. Maven is a spoiled brat.

Actually Maven is exactly like my mother-in-law & the picture doesn’t get any prettier when they turn 60.

127

I haven’t had a job (other than a couple of three-monthers) since before my first kid was born.

This is the first year we haven’t qualified for reduced-price lunches.

We go to the movies about twice a year ourselves, when my sister will watch the kids AND we can afford it (a rare conjunction).

Last time I ate at an actual restaurant was back in May, and my husband couldn’t go because he was watching the kids (I went with a friend) - if Tark had gone, we would not have been able to afford his meal AND babysitting.

We have not been to an amusement park (we live quite close to two major parks) in three years - and that time was on free passes. (We’re going this Sunday, YAY! We have more free passes.)

I do not have a college degree. I’m a drop-out. If I went back to work I would lose approximately $200/week if you factor in full-day care for one kid, half-day for another, after-school for another, gas, work clothes, etc. Therefore, I don’t “work.” At least, not out of my house.

I have no friends within 200 miles I can go to visit easily (except for my sister) - because none of my local friends have kids.

I haven’t bought a new pair of trousers since 1997.

Gramma (Tark’s mom) took the kids out to get some new school clothes in August. Other than that and underwear, every stitch of clothes they own are either hand-me-downs or thrift. Same here. Same with Tark. I seriously can’t remember ever going to the actual store and buying him shirts OR trousers - and he works in a business-casual environment in which he definitely cannot wear jeans and t-shirts.

My daughter was born without the benefit of Medicaid, so we had to make monthly payments on her.

We cannot afford insurance for the family. Tark has it because if something happens to him, we’re SCREWED. But…my son fractured his wrist in baseball. We’re making payments on that. My other son contracted poison ivy and we had to confirm that was what it was. Payments. My daughter had strep. Payments.

We’re magically still making rent. Sometimes we have to rob Peter to pay Paul on the utilities. Our gas was cut off for a couple of weeks over the summer. We’ve had the water cut off before.

Magically…we’re all STILL ALIVE. And pretty HAPPY. And we have ENTERTAINMENT. My kids appear to love me. My husband and I still get along beautifully.

Sometimes it gets hard, but I don’t recall going to a PUBLIC ARENA and WHINING about ANY OF THIS - and if I had that kind of extremely poor taste and lack of judgement, I don’t think I’d dismiss out-of-hand the helpful words of people who actually HAD SOLUTIONS.

Which is why I feel justified in calling the OPer a waste of skin, an ungrateful cunt, a stupid bitch, I express my wish that if she does successfully reproduce that CPS DOES come in and evaluate her, because it will take a wake-up call from the FUCKING GOVERNMENT to penetrate the PERPETUAL FOG OF STUPID that encases her entirely fucking useless head. I sincerely hope that her baby is born HEALTHY, because if it has ANY SPECIAL NEEDS I feel that this SELFISH GODDAMNED ORTHO-NOVUM POSTER CHILD will do nothing but USE her child’s HANDICAP as another excuse to FUCKING WHINE ABOUT HOW MUCH IT INCONVENIENCES HER.

Therefore…eat my hot, steaming shit. I’ll even give you a spoon. Go ahead and eat up one of my lovely acidic, runny period shits, actually. Lick the bowl clean and wash it down with your own selfish, stinking bile, and choke on it, you fucking come-bubble.

She’s treating motherhood like a goddamned INCONVENIENCE.

I find that patently offensive.

128

jarbabyj I’m so sorry about your fertility problems. What you wrote really touched me, and it’s true, life isn’t fair.

129

Excuse me. My son fractured his THUMB, not his WRIST. I don’t know why I typed that wrong. My apologies for the inaccuracy.

130

dammit.

Is anything worse than period shits?

131

God help this poor, poor child. gobear had the best suggestion yet. If this girl had any sense whatsoever she would think of what is BEST for this child and give him/her up for adoption to people who wouldn’t refer to him/her as that “damn kid” and would care more about food and shelter that fucking cable tv and having to move into an apartment. Jesus H. Christ.

Can’t you guys see the thread that going to pop up after this child is born?

“I had to go back to work a week after I gave birth and it’s all this damn kid’s fault.”

Grow the fuck up.

132

Huh. Well, there’s where that “reading” thing might have helped me, because you said it in your post. :slight_smile: Sorry!

133

Whew. Hamadryad, that was fire from the heart. If that didn’t get through to Maven, nothing will. wow.

As Rush “get me some blues” Limbaugh would say, that was one for the archives.

134

Maven, if you don’t want to take a math class, that’s fine. Actually from your failure to comprehend the simple math that every one has shown you I would suggest you not waste your money. I’m also slightly surprised that they let you work a cash register.

But I strongly suggest you take a class on how to speak properly. Referring to your child as a “damn kid” or talking about your grandmother “kicking off” is not acceptable.

What scares me is that I’m getting the feeling that you’re not the only one in the family with this mentality. You haven’t said anything about your husband fighting any of this. He seems to be just as selfish as you are.

I’m really starting to worry about this child. Not only is its needs going to sit second to your wants, but I fear for this child’s safety. I can see you coming back in a year talking about how your child has breathing problems that no doctor can figure out.

135

I think the people who are questioning her money management are right on. I know she has no idea where their money goes and doesn’t want to know, but anyone who can afford $100 a month for cable and internet but can’t afford to take maternity leave is not only not prioritizing, they are putting tv ahead of their child. We make more than they do, don’t have any kids yet, and I sill can’t justify spending that much on tv. We spend 14.95 a month for basic cable and have dial-up internet. Less than $30 per month combined. I would give both up in a second if I needed it to cover the costs of my dog, much less my child.

I also see that she has other payments they could get rid of but refuses to live without, like a second car and new furniture. Apparently living without these material things is too much to ask for the sake of your own child. I hope her kid understands someday why the car and cable was more important than she was. Here’s an idea - sell the stuff you are making huge payments on (and if you must, replace them with cheaper versions.)

My parents had one car and three kids until I was in school. My mom worked part-time but we were never in daycare. For some reason I don’t look back on my childhood and think, I wish my mom was gone working more so we could have had a second car and more stuff. Huh.

I have got to stop reading about this. There are so many people who want a child and would do anything to be in her position. Sometimes life is more than just unfair, it is cruel.

136

Questions that will not get answered:

  1. Is prenatal care being taken? You know, them ‘pesky’ vitamins and ‘silly’ sonongrams? Part time fast food employees do not get insurance. Is she covered under insurance at all? I am covered under my husband’s and it runs about 300 a month. How is the hospital going to get paid for the delivery?

2)How much is insurance on a corvette anyway? Assuming that he is called corvette guy for a reason. Isn’t insurance for a sports car way higher than a sedan?

Bambi Hassenpfeffer, Texas does not have a state tax. We do pay for social security taxes and such.

As for working different shifts? If you have read any of her posts, she works for eviiiiiiil mean people. Further, working at a mall restricts the hours the place is open. And working from home? HA! Do you seriously expect her to get off her ass and do aomething? Learn a trade or something? This is someone who couldn’t handle ‘excessive’ hand washing at work.

137

I can’t even imagine what she’s paying $500 a month for in furniture. My husband and I bought a stupid nice couch, coffee table, chair and bed and I pay about $100 a month for all of it, and it’s almost paid off.

138

and one more thing,
she has expressed that she refuses to learn about stuff like finances. That’s her husband’s job. She would rather be blissfully ignorant in regards to anything financial. After all, it’s his job to take care of her.

In one thread, I predicted that she would get pregnant within the year.
Here’s another prediction for you!

I predict that somehow, her husband will get the blame.
“Actually, I do want to stay at home, but he won’t let me”.

Those suggesting her take a class, please recall:
He won’t let me.

I wonder if her husband has any idea what an asshole she has portrayed him to be. I also wonder if he knows what he married.

139

Spot fucking on. Add me to the list of people who’s getting scared for this kid.

140

$500 a month on FURNITURE? Criminy! I’ll bet the ranch it’s Rent-To-Own, too (a scam on the poor and innumerate, IMO).

And Lezlers, if you could e-mail me an LJ link, I’d be grateful.

I’ve been through a spate of unemployment this year, and things were tough for a while, but my hubby and I prioritized and economized (no DVDs, no eating out, shopping with a list and clipping coupons) and we got by. Now I’m temping in a job that is way beneath my skill set, but I do it with a smile because I am grateful that I have a job at all. Above all, I don’t post thread after thread after thread whining and bitching about my stuation, get good advice and then ignore it, choosing to be a victim and not a victor.

IDBB isn’t listening to any of the advice here, but here goes anyway:

IDBB, you have a child on the way, a new life that you are responsible for nurturing and raising. You have to subordinate your wants and whims to your child’s needs, for that is what decent parents do.

You need to learn money management and household economy skills if you are going to keep this child. You will need to make sure that he/she is fed, clothed, and loved. You will need to make sacrifices for the child’s welfare. If you are unable to do this, then I urge you to do the right thing and put the child up for adoption.