Cold, hard and non-ferrous?
With all this crap going round and round, does that make her the non-Ferrous Wheel?
Somebody needs to fix her squeak.
WD-40 or duct tape?
Damn, Maureen, you seriously need to pony up more stories about this woman.
Maureen, just getting here late to the thread and I have to say:
You rock!
That is all.
Wow . . . my 1st day here and such drama from the get-go! Reminds me so much of why I abhor office work in the very first place (this “Joan” character reminds me so much of my older, demented sister - also fifties, but, thankfully not currently working anywhere for anyone - thank god!) This person deserves the boot in no uncertain terms due to you stating her past history and such. You ought to talk to HR/Paul about her replacement & her getting some treatment ASAP. This sort of stuff hinders all throughout the department in question, but on the other hand, what would they have to gab about otherwise? She probably COULD be worse though . . . . . . . 
I guess so! I need to move down to corporate, see if one of the partners wants a little somethin’ somethin’.
Thanks, Guin, I appreciate the moral support.
Duckster, I would have to go with the duct tape. That post was way too funny.
Troy, I am told by people who have been around longer than I that this is not her first, nor even her most spectacular melt down. I am promised more stories, and when I get 'em, I will update.
Hey, zookr! Welcome to the SDMB. Stick around, you’ll see things far more demented and dramatic, trust me.
You totally rock, Maureen.
I’m not worried about Joan too much, but stuff like this can often signal the end of Cool Shit TPTB Do To Show Appreciation. Even though everyone and their brothers can see Joan’s totally wrong and completely off her rocker for carrying on and whippin herself into a frenzy, at the end of the day it’s still a whole buncha crud everyone’s gotta get thru because of the Cool Shit. No raffle equals no issues over prizes, no matter that 99% of the employees act appropriately and deserve and appreciate the thoughtfulness behind Lab Week.
I really really hope that nothing like that happens.
Ain’t my Maureen something else and a half? I think I’ll marry her! 
You name IRL wouldn’t be Paul, would it?
Would it matter? She can’t be bothered to blow him! 
That would mean she already is married to him, right?
Maureen, just curious: does she pull the “Oh, forgive me, I’m on meds and I’m Not Well” - type drama? (Meaning, of course, I’m Not Responsible for Anything I Say or Do and You Can’t Touch Me.) Just wondering.
I’d say probably not for the next three days.
Maureen, nice job. You honestly and truly did the right thing. It IS a fucking shame that so much drama had to come of it, but goddammit, she was a bully (at the heart of it all, after stripping away all the other garbage) and bullies become bullies because people don’t stop them. You did the right thing. Without a doubt.
Like you have a choice. Your parents would disown you if you didn’t.
I refuse to answer the first charge on the grounds that I am blushing way too much. But no, we’re not married yet.
No, not at all. She’s one of those people who just refuse to accept that she did anything wrong. Ever. She rearranges events in her head so that she is the wronged party and everyone is against her. Poor Joan, the evil Maureen is trying to take her boom box. Poor Joan, John the evil CFO wont pay for her ruined car after he paid for someone else’s. There is no responsibility for her actions.
Wow! I pulled someone out of lurkerdom. Thanks, drpepper.
Like The Devil’s Grandmother, I have to ask “why does she still have a job there???”
This is a pattern for this woman. It’s certainly not the first, you know it won’t be the last…and she’s not a great worker to boot.
Why not fire her now? Why wait for the inevitable?
Although we are an “at will company” and can fire anyone at any time for any reason, I still want to follow procedure. She got a very harsh written warning today. One more problem and she will be gone. That way, if she goes to either the EDD or the labor board, I can show that we followed procedure and she has no grounds for grievance.
I had a situation with a…difficult coworker a few years ago and learned a bit about how firing works. Basically, even if someone has signed an at-will agreement, they can still turn around and sue for wrongful termination. At that point, it’s in the hands of a jury, who aren’t likely to sympathize with a corporate entity.
She’d have a hard time finding a lawyer willing to take it to trial, IMO.
Arrived too late. After reading the OP, I wanted to say, “wow, you’re like a Guardian Angel or something. Thats awesome that you stuck up for the kid.”
After reading the rest of the thread, I want to say “…”