Given the circumstances, I might be inclined to become horribly offended by this extremely inappropriate comment even though it’s not my nature to do so normally. And I’d be offended enough to mention it to HR. Naturally, I’d have to tell the entire story for context.
I’d dress her down for that. That’s an extremely unprofessional comment, bordering on sexual harassment and insubordination. On top of her theft, this woman has got balls of solid brass.
Seriously? For the same reason Maureen made sure the kid got his boombox: it’s not the cost of the boombox, it’s the principle of the thing.
See, this woman has convinced herself that it’s right and just that she should get the boombox, not some punk kid that wasn’t even there at the raffle. And so by removing the boombox, Mareen has been unjust. A position I could empathize with, were I still six years old and envious of my little brother’s proportionately larger piece of chocolate cake.
Okay. Joan of Arc’d Off Her Meds gets her drama. Meeting in ten with Paul (aka “Da Man.”)
She can go ahead and say I’m blowing my boss. I could give a fuck. I’m good at what I do, and my work speaks for itself. But the fact that literally nothing is getting done today in an entire damn department has ceased to amuse.
I cannot get past the fact that at the heart of this, it’s just so stupid. Really, typical Joan to turn this into a massive huge conspiracy, when it’s just a case of fucking NOT STEALING WHAT DOESN’T FUCKING BELONG TO YOU. More to come.
Dayum…I am on the edge of my seat!
pass the popcorn and we’ll munch as we await the next installment of As the Lab Turns aka Joan, of the Artful Dodger.
What a bitch on wheels!
I would start a file–you and Paul can start one, after your next “session”.
(kidding!)
Jeezopete, Maureen, I hope she gets blown out of the water! You did A Good Thing, and she Just Doesn’t Get It.
Cripes. Most people are just idiots, aren’t they.
That’s OK. I was surprised that no one thought of it before I did! 
I love this thread. I’m having way too much fun with it!
Were you being intentionally funny? I mean in context "I hope she gets blown… " is hil fucking larious. 
That’s why I ponied up the subscription fee for this place. I need stories like this to better appreciate working in a place where we all get along and there is no drama.
No, she fucking can’t say that.
If she’s saying this about you, her boss, can you imagine what’s she’s saying about 1) the coworker who told you what was happening, 2) Elliott, 3) coworker who tried not to laugh and 4) Coworker #2 who has an office door? Maybe you don’t care, but when she tells the entire office that young Elliott is blowing you, that’s going to be a real problem.
Seriously, why does this woman have a job at your company?
You’re not going to believe this. You really aren’t. I feel like I’m in the middle of auntie em’s now infamous coworker thread. (I wonder whatever happened to that whacko).
She threatened a harrassment suit. Yes she did. No, I’m not joking, I swear on my children’s eyes, she did. We’re all against her, and this is my fault, and it’s harrassment. I couldn’t even remember what I was going to say for a couple minutes. Paul let her finish talking, then told her to sit back down. He had me go over the disciplinary memo I’d typed out, and she interrupted at every single point. I asked her if it was true that she had accused me of having sex with Paul. She didn’t say anything. Then she burst into tears. Said she didn’t ever say that, what a horrible thing to accuse her of, I was nuts, trying to trap her… oy.
Now, truth be told, folks, I really hate doing this kind of thing. Firing people and smacking them around…I don’t like it. And everyone else in the department is professional and works hard, so I am lucky enough not to have to. But this is just too much. The drama is never ending. It’s always something. I feel like a babysitter.
When she came to my department from finance, she told me that she was doing much better, could focus on projects better, was taking her meds, had a better outlook, yadayadayada…so I agreed. At that point, we couldn’t find anyone with the background I needed as an assistant and I was in a bind. She’s been with the company for over 10 years, so she knows roughly what the work entails. Seriously. My 14 year old doesn’t have this much drama.
I explained, in detail, why I did what I did, and why what she did was wrong. That’s right. She honestly didn’t see why it was wrong. Paul then not so gently reminded her that if she feels she is incapable of handling the position, we would relieve her of it. Hopefully this will scare the crap out of her enough to keep her nose to her monitor and get her to do her damn work.
Shit. All this over a boom box. She left. Had an anxiety attack and had to have her sister come pick her up.
Oh. After she left the room I told Paul I want a Mercedes SLK convertible. Cuz, y’know, blowjobs don’t come cheap.
Holy Shit.
I would seriously consider writing up the whole incident for her HR file, even if disciplinary action is not taken. It looks like she has anger management issues (beyond the basic issue of not realizing that the boom box somebody else won is not hers). In case she goes off again on something (like she did before in the spin-out incident) it may be useful to have documentation in her file of her inappropriate rages.
On the other hand, considering how she blew up on this, discipline up to termination might well be appropriate.
Forgot to mention: she’s been suspended without pay again for three days. If she puts one single toe out of line over the next six months, she’s gone.
Well, that was a simulpost.
Because she has a medical/mental health condition, there is a possibility the Americans with Disabilities Act may be implicated in any discipline/personnel decisions you may take. I would seriously consider getting HR and employment counsel involved immediately and before going any further.
Good luck.
Everyone who works for the company signs the now standard HR at-will statement.
Well, I hafta say that I enjoyed this thread much more when it was just about a bitch with no morals and 'tude.
<sigh> but she souns unstable and in need of professional assistance.
I am still scratching my head over the harassment charge. I’ll be here awhile, I’m guessing.
IMO, HR should know about all of this–and thank God you have Paul as a witness.
Good luck, Maureen–is she likely to be vindictive enough to wait for you in the parking lot? (not tring to add drama, just concerned).
My evil side thinks that someone in the lab should compose a rap about all of this, burn it and play in on the boombox. Heh.
Oh, I very much doubt she’ll do anything of the kind. She gets caught up in the moment and then the next day is on to the next soap opera.
HR gets the memo and files it in her file, so they know what’s going on.
Joan is one of those people who just have to pump up the drama as high as they can get it. So, the threat of harrassment is probably just that: a threat. I didn’t take it too seriously, but I did note it on the memo.
Sorry this is so anti-climactic. But I’m sure she’ll do something fun and totally inappropriate again soon.
The most disappointing part of the whole day is that I’m not getting a Mercedes. Jeez. Who do I have to blow around here?
Have you checked her for stigmata? It is the End Times, ya know…
Damn, that woman sounds very scary. Good luck, Maureen.
Someone other than Paul, apparently.