You wake up tomorrow to any amazing and true headline you want, what is it?

Add in a benevolent genie who will grant you this wish, no strings or gotchas, and the thread title pretty much sums it up. But I will add the rule that it cannot be that Trump is dead or anything wishing severe harm on him. I’m not sure if that’s illegal or against the rules, but I’ll add that rule just in case. Plus, it makes the question a little more interesting to answer - be creative, guys!

As for me, I guess the headline I’d like to see would be something like “Trump unzips pants and pisses on Fox News correspondent.” Something that shows even supporters that the man has lost his mind - they could even spin it with “he was an awesome president, sadly Lewy Body Dementia is taking its toll on a wise hero.” Fine by me as long as every last voter sees he is insane.

What do YOU ask the genie?

Mitch McConnell caught in bed with Lindsey Graham, live boy and dead girl - video at 11.

Video by Mike Pence.

Mine: Hilary Wins.

Man describes terrifying ordeal in phone call with President Clinton: “Oh, I had the most awful, nightmarish hallucinations–something called ‘Brexit’, and Donald Trump actually won the election, and then there was a global pandemic.”

"Trump and Pence Abruptly Resign; Replaced on GOP Ticket by Sasse and Haley"

De-Grinchification of Donald Trump!

You heard it here first true believers! After a near-death-experience caused by choking on a cheeseburger while patting himself on the back, Don ‘the Con’ Trump realized that he had much karma to correct. He has submitted his extensive blackmail files on both himself and his cronies, including Moscow Mitch, Half-Assed Hannity, Grotesque Grahmn and his childen and in-laws.
After setting aside a small trust fund for his youngest child, he has turned over all legal assets to the ACLU and has resigned effective immediately, as well as turning himself in for incarceration for the many crimes he has confessed to and provided evidence for. Due to the treasonous crimes by Pence as revealed in what we now call the ‘Trump Dossier’, Pence has stepped down as well as he concentrates on preparing for his defense in Federal Court.

Entire GOP Falls Dead, Cause Unknown

If we wish one man (Trump) drops dead, that’s against OP’s rules. If we wish the entire GOP dead, that’s a statistic.

Proven Cure Found for Crohn’s Disease.

Mostly, I missed that sentence in the OP… :man_facepalming:t2:

Entire population of Iran converts to Invisible Pink Unicorn.

Saudi Arabia converts to Pastafarianism.

Middle East experts fear war.

Seriously speaking, I would love to wake up and see the news that an effective COVID vaccine has been discovered and the pandemic is over.

"Bezos gives 10 percent of wealth to Grrr.

Headline: Cure for all cancer found.
Subheadline: and it only costs a buck.

“All Evil People Shrink to Two Feet Tall!”

What could go wrong?

“RAPTURE OCCURS: All Protestant Evangelicals Instantaneously Vanish from Earth”

Describe what believers are wrong about.

Rupert Murdoch Contracts Covid-19, At Death’s Door; Murdoch Family Infects NewsCorp Execs

In Salt Lake City!