Sure we get urges, and sure, we might even spend a little time fantasizing about the particular set of circumstances that might lead to an opportunity to fulfill those urges–like “what if we were stuck on a desert island?”
But there is a BIG difference between an urge and an action!
Urges are normal and healthy. After all, examining what makes another person seem attractive can give you clues as to what you can do to improve your own relationship. (Unfortunately, the object of my latest urge was wearing a Long Island Railroad conductor’s uniform. In fact, the specific naughty thought I had was “Ooooh. He could punch my ticket anytime!” I fail to see how I can work this into my normal bedroom routine.)
But, I agree with Lexicon. If you really want to have sex with other people, you need to re-evaluate your relationship. Either fix it or end it.
And Doctordec–if 80% of your married men are “unfulfilled,” think about their wives! Sheesh. You think that your guys are any great Romeos? I’ll bet not. Give 'em some good advice–fulfilling sex takes more than 3 minutes.
Temptation is everywhere and “fuck” is the key word here assuming we are in love relationships. Can you resist temptation? Most ppl I know can’t.
For what its worth, and it really isnt worth much in this cynical nonbelieving world, but I am a 27yr. old guy who has resisted temptation thus far. Got morals?
Yup. There is no shame in ending an unhappy or unhealthy relationship and looking for something more fulfilling in your life. Just try to have a little class, show some respect, but always honor your own needs or you’ll never be able to honor someone else’s.
No, I’m not tempted in the least. My SO is everything I need and more… (I’m entirely too lucky!)
Disputin Flagrantly ignorant statements cheerfully
crammed right back down your neck.
Dan S defends his theory further this week in printed editions. However, I can’t find it on line. Eventually, in a week or two, it will appear here: http://www.thestranger.com/authors/dansavage.html
It’s there. See above, Boys Will Be boys:
Humans are primates, and since the male human’s balls fall somewhere between chimps’ and gorillas’ on the body-mass scale, scientists concluded that “sperm competition” is a “feature of the human mating system.”
Do yourself a favor and don’t read the lobster lesbian urban legend.Too late for me.Exit, vomiting.
Since most relationships take shape on a level of sexual interest first. This is really only natural when you consider that we are fundamentally sexual beings driven by an instinct to engage in sexual relationships with each other in order to keep the world populated. Since we are also civilized beings who tend to follow certain standards in society, we generally don’t indiscriminately engage in sexual relationships with just anyone. And like DoctorDec mentioned earlier, it takes more than a few years of civilization to change years of evolution.
Well, we are civilized enough that marriages usually last at least until the kids are almost done with high school. Then the woman “has emotionally grown” and is into new ideas, while the man still somewhere in the back of his brain wants to “fuck other women”. End of marriage.
Dan Savage also said, to paraphrase, “Most straight women expect their men to be faithful, which is not unreasonable. But they also expect their men to act like it comes naturally, which is unreasonable.”
So let’s make an A-B-C-D example. Lets say Alice and Bill are married, and Bill never has a single passing desire to sleep with another woman. So he remains faithful. And Cindy and Dan are married, and Dan has desires and temptations quite regularly. But he never cheats on Cindy.
Who loves who more? Dan’s sacrificing something he desires for Cindy, showing his love. Bill’s just faithful because he has no other interests. Cindy can feel confident that Dan won’t cheat, since he’s been tempted, and has proven himself several times. Alice has no way of knowing Bill won’t stray the first time he finds someone he has his first extra-marrital attraction to.
I’m sure most married men want to sleep with other women, in the same way that a dieter might want a piece of chocolate cake. He wants the cake, but he doesn’t eat it. Why? Because he doesn’t really want it, not down deep, not when you take all the other factors into consideration.
Cake, huh? If you have that cake, does that mean your diet is ruined forever?Marriage is slightly different.
One problem here is that men won’t give their true opinion as easily with a board name. But if we could post anonymously, the posts would be truly honest…
<i>One problem here is that men won’t give their true opinion as easily with a board name. But if we could post anonymously, the posts would be truly honest…</i>
I thought that’s why you had a board name, so you could post anonymously.
Huemr:That’s why I have SECOND board name, who can say anything he wants. He can even get kicked off the board.
My main name is actually pretty much me, not an act. I might meet some of these people some day, IRL.
