According to Margaret Houlahand on Mash and also according to sex expert Dan Savage:
“I hope I’m not letting the pussy out of the parcel, but most straight guys in long-term relationships wanna fuck other women. For lots of guys, going to a strip club helps them blow off that wanna-fuck-other-women steam without actually fucking other women. If your boyfriend can go to a strip club without blowing your rent money, and is considerate enough to keep you in the dark about it, well, is it really that awful? There are times when two people have to suspend their disbelief and pretend their partners are the people they would like them to be.”
Most straight women in long-term relationships wanna fuck other men.
You think we LIKE your love handles or beer belly, bald spot or hairy ears? Oh sure we SAY we do, but believe me baby, we got our eye on the hottie walkin by with the nice ass and the GQ style. We’re just not as vocal about it as the male population.
How 'bout we sing ‘Kyle’s mom is a stupid bitch’ in D minor?
Yeah, it’s been my experience that we all have urges to fuck other people, regardless of relationship. There are those who do not, so please don’t think I am generalizing here. I am making an observation based on my own limited experience.
The point is that sure, you (male, female, whatever) may want to fuck someone other than your current SO. So? Either break it off and do it or stay with them and chalk it up to biology.
Whatever you do, the whole question of …“is it okay to stay faithful by any means necessary, even if includes doing things I know my partner doesn’t approve of?” is way to general to sum up in a nutshell.
If the relationship is so much work that you (generic) need to take special means to not fuck other people, maybe it’s time to evaluate the type of relationship you’re in.
Or seek help for your nymphomania.
Or something.
Of course, that’s just my opinion, I could be wrong.
“Winners never quit and quitters never win, but those who never win and never quit are idiots.”
If you can’t appreciate your SO without getting off on looking at other women or men’s bodies in a strip club, or having cybersex, then why even be with your SO in the first place? If it’s a perfect body you want, break up with the SO and go get it because you aren’t ready for a relationship, where you respect the other person.
And then there’s those who are happy with their SO but just need a little jump start in a while, some outside inspiration. Movie stars should be perfectly safe for your fantasies.
I should probably factor in with a dissenting opinion.
I have NO desire to have sex with anyone other than my current SO (and no, I’m not saying that because he’ll be reading this). The thought kinda makes me queasy.
Don’t get me wrong–I can appreciate good looks. There’s a guy who sits next to me in my philosophy class who flirts with me quite a bit. He could be a model. I have no desire to do the nasty with him, though, even though he appears as if he might be interested in doing that with me.
Why even think about looking elsewhere when I have everything I need?
Drain doesn’t feel that way because she and Satan haven’t been together very long. She feels that way because she IS that way.
I’ve been married for several years and have absolutely no desire to fuck anyone else. Like Drain, the thought makes me slightly nauseous.
I think it’s like this for several reasons. A couple of them are, I am extremely happy with my husband in general, and the sex is still incredible. It’s like a circle for me…sex is incredible, so I’m happier in general day-to-day stuff, day-to-day stuff is very good, so I’m always ready to have sex with him…and so on and so on.
I can’t speak for my husband, but after all this time I know him very well. He always appreciates a good body, and smart women turn him on, but he doesn’t have any desire to fuck anyone else.
I should have mentioned that this is by far the first time I’ve been like this. Looking back on my past, I can honestly say I would have at least flirted back with the hot guy, and possibly more. Now, I’m simply nice to him, but I make it well-known that I’m not interested.
Hell, when he came in wearing a Yankees jersey and hat the other day, I told him he reminded me of my BF.
How do you know for sure ? Any long term SO will say the same thing. I always assume my wife wants to sleep with other men no matter what she says. I just try like hell not to give her a reason to.
I think it’s all a matter of degree. I think everyojne has passing fantasies about all sorts or people, but it doesn’t mean you going to do anything about it.
I can look at someone and think “Oh, she’s cute/hot/sexy”, but not be really attracted to her.
So if you’re talking about passing fancies, I’d say yes, everyone has those to some extent or another.
But anything stronger? I don’t think that applies to everyone.
Sealemon - Using your definition of passing fancies, I’d say yes, probably everyone has them.
Doctordec - I know my husband is not a monk or a prude. I know that just because he married me does not mean that women are no longer attractive to him. As far as knowing for sure that he doesn’t want to fuck anyone else, it’s a matter of trust, I suppose. After all, why would I stay with him if I couldn’t take him at his word?
This is actually interesting. We (husband and I) went out to lunch today and I told him about this thread. Our general consensus is that if someone wants to fuck around, if someone has those urges while in a monogamous relationship, they should not be in that relationship. It seems to me that many men, and women, like to hide behind the male and female “stereotypes” rather than examine their own relationships. It’s easier to say that all men like to fuck more than women and all men wander, they can’t help it, than it is to say there is something very wrong with my relationship if I’m looking outside it for a place to put my penis.
This obviously goes for women too, I just didn’t want to put in all the extra words to say that :).
And many of us are lousy enough liers that we wouldn’t get away with it. But smart enough to know that. I see enough dumb people on talk shows. I had to watch some on jury duty.
I think that a good analogy would be after finishing an absolutely delicious, filling meal, being presented with the dessert cart. You will probably think “Wow, that looks good, and that looks good”, and might think that they would be good to eat in an abstract way, but if you’re full you’re not going to have any real desire to eat them (unless, I suppose, you have an eating disorder).
I would think that guys in a sexually fullfilling relationship would have a similar attitude towards other women; yes, it would be nice, in an abstract way, to have sex with them, but in a practical sense there’s no desire to have sex with them.
I’m rather disturbed by the circular “logic” that the quote from the OP relies on. Basically, the idea is that “every” straight guy feels a certain way, and if any denies it, they must be lying (since it is true). Therefore, since no guy can honestly deny it, it must be true, right?
Where do people get these ideas? Do they ask a straight guy “Hey, does every single straight guy feel exactly the same way you do?” Would you trust anything told to you by someone so conceited as to believe that they speak for every straight guy?
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I would think that guys in a sexually fullfilling relationship would have a similar attitude towards other women[/qoute]
Well, that’s the key. I’d bet if you asked a hundred men in long term (10+ years) relationships if they were “sexually fulfilled” at least 80 would answer no. As for the men I talk to day by day that have been married a long time not one of them has ever said that they were “fulfilled”. It’s not easy to overcome millions of years of evolution with a few years of civilization.
But, we’re trying.