I was participating in this thread, and the subject got hijacked, hence this new thread specifically on the subject.
I’m a straight guy. I’ve had relationships with three women in my life. My most recent relationship has been the most serious. Although we split up for a while, we are now back together again.
When we first hooked up, nearly two years ago, we both had very strong sexual desire for each other. After the first few weeks of lots of passionate lovemaking, things cooled off a little.
My sex drive remained quite strong, and by that I mean I still desired sex pretty much every day. Her sex drive seemed to be governed by the tides and the moon, as much as anything else.
There were periods of time when she had no desire to be sexually intimate. At other times her sex drive would overload, and I wouldn’t be able to satisfy her.
I don’t claim to have any knowledge of the complicated workings of women, but I’ve heard mention of the words “menstruation” and “hormones” (often from other guys), when it comes to women’s sex drive.
In the hijacked thread, we were discussing whether gays experience similar fluctuations in sexual desire. It was implied that gay guys always have a strong sex drive, and that the desire is always there. Is this true?
For same-sex female couples, do menstruation cycles and hormones play a big part in the sex drive? It was also implied in the hijacked thread that women are much less driven by the need to have sex. Does this mean that same-sex female relationships involve less lovemaking that straight relationships?
I can only answer for this gay guy, but certainly my desire ebbs and flows after the initial honeymoon period. As a male-oriented-male, if my partner began mensturating it would probably end the relationship if not the world as we know it.
I’d have to ditto to Sampiro’s answer. MY desires ebb and flow as well… Contingent on my mood, environment etc. I’m only speaking for myself, since this is in GQ I’d say it’s contingent on the person and not their sexuality.
Why do you think this is the case? When you say more available, do you mean that it more likely that you’ll have sex when meeting someone new, or that there are more places to go to where you know guys are looking for sex?
Well, from what I’ve seen and experienced, the gay community is pretty sexually driven on a majority. (There are some places/groups that aren’t but they’re definitely a minority). So, by that, and the sexual drive of men, and from what I’ve heard from my straight male friends, that’s the story in Minnesota (and probably most of the US and it’s also what makes me a bit envious of straight people). It’s easy to generalize without perimeters so I’m only speaking from experience.
I think it’s more obvious to gay men than to straight men … guys think alike, so ergo the subtle signs that are used to attract one to the other become, between two of the same gender … uh, not so subtle. I have a friend that jokes that he’d be straight if it wasn’t just so much damn work. I think there’s a tiny pearl of wisdom there.
Today I was at lunch and these three hot young college gals come and sit behind me and my group on the patio. They’re laughing and drinking and talking endlessly about how they’re “on the prowl” for some guys.
Some guys finally walk up, and clumsily ask if the ladies know what’s showing at the movie theater several lots down. The ladies throw out signals even I was picking up on in their response to the lads. The guys, cute enough, fumble and mumble their thanks and go walking off.
My friends and I were left feeling just a smidge superior. In the same amount of time, the two groups if they had contained gay guys would already have been stripped and going at it right there on the patio (actually, the closest place of relative privacy, the men’s room), or one of the groups would have been slinking away, smarting under some extremely witty and damnably close to the heart rejections.
These boys didn’t even realize the girls had no clue what movies were playing, and just pulled a title out of the air.
I would have to disagree with you there, Walloon. Female gay sex does nothing for me.
My assumptions:
Men are strongly motivated by sex, and pretty much always desire it. This is because the male is constantly producing sperm. This sperm needs to find a release from the body. If a guy isn’t having sex, then he releases the sperm via the other method (I won’t get too TMI).
Women produce an egg on a monthly cycle. Women are most fertile at the time when the egg is produced, and this is what dictates their sex drive. Because of the fluctuations of hormones (estrogen, I believe), a woman’s sex drive can seem confusing to guys.
Gay guys are no different to straight guys, biologically. Therefore when two gay guys meet, and they find each other attractive, they are both thinking “sex sex sex”.
I’m still not sure what it’s like for female + female relationships, as I’ve never had any female gay friends, and it’s not really a subject talked about that much.
Well, I guess for me personally, yes it does. There are times in my cycle that I’m horny as hell :o and others where I feel as sexy as a block of wood.
Multiply this by two and you have a bit of a problem
There is a term in the lesbian community known as “lesbian bed death” - in essence, after the honeymoon is over, the sex life dies. Well, for some (many?). I think as a whole women don’t emphasise sex as much as men do.
Seriously though, bMaxxxie**, I found your post enlightening. While we’re on the subject, and in all seriousness, I am tempted to ask what the heck two girls get up to in lovemaking. But I fear it may not be appropiate for GQ.
As a Gay man, I remember once in my 30’s asking same age hetero male friends at a party how often they had sex. A few were married, most were not. Their average - twice a MONTH.
I was in shock.
At that time, at the same age, I was averaging twice a night!
Maybe it is a male thing…if you have a willing Gay partner who enjoys sex, and you do as well, there really are no limits. I think most guys, hetero or Gay, will admit it doesn’t take a lot to get you horny. The difference might be that when two guys get together, they know the “tricks” to keep each other ready and willing.
I recall some science magazine back then had an annual list of “unanswerable” questions. One of the winners was, “why do men have nipples.”
I laughed and laughed.
Trust me, my hetero friends, a Gay man knows…a man’s nipples are only one of the many immediate erotic points in man to man encounters. Male armpits, behind the ears…the list goes on.
Women often say men are animals…and to a certain extent, they are right. I know that Gay sex is a thought most hetero men find repulsive. But if you can step back for a minute and consider this…regardless of the “ick” factor, you have to admit another guy would know exactly what feels good, when, where and how.
Trust me, two guys who just want to have a good time can certainly keep things going longer and more often.
I am not saying there are not hetero pairs who cannot do the same…to the contrary…there are a lot of hot ladies out there who know exactly what I am talking about. Unfortunately for many of my hetero friends, these ladies are not easy to find.
As far as ebb and flow with desire…I think that happens to everyone over time - hetero or Gay. Lots of physical and psychological reasons…but I think Gay guys might be more inclined to have sex (even if they aren’t arroused at the moment) because they understand…sometimes another guy’s just gotta have it because he can.
I’m going to try to address this question, and at the same time, keep it GQ Friendly.
IANALesbian, but two of my sisters are, and they talk pretty freely, so maybe I can help out. Some use is made of artificial male body parts; even more use is made of oral and manual stimulation. Kinda like “foreplay til everyone’s satisfied”, if you will. Hope this helps.
