“What an eccentric performance.”
“Bag, bag, bag!”
“What bag?”
“Your bag! Suddenly here, now gone!”
“Are you trying to make me look stupid in front of the other guests!?”
“You don’t need any help from me, sir.”
“That’s right!”
My brother, my captain, my king.
Goosebumps. Every single blessed time.
Oh, you can use it at work, honey. You just have to win the lottery first. 
I finally figured out where this line came from: Billy Madison. So, my quote should start with “Mr. Madison . . .”
(Sorry-- I think that the problem is that every masculine title from a movie has been replaced in my mind with the voice of the Agent from the Matrix: “Misssster Anderson.”)
From the series finale of Angel:
Angel: “People who don’t care about anything will never understand people who do.”
Hamilton: “True. But we won’t care.”
Punctuated by punches. Love.
Arguably the best line of all time, and I was shocked to hear it used in cereal ads (I hope Nora Ephron got $$$$$$) was:
I’ll have what she 's having.
but barring that the biggest laugh I ever got was from The Main Event with Barbra Streisand and Ryan O’Neill. It isn’t even quoted on IMDB, or anywhere else, but I am pretty sure the line was. “I’ve heard about fighting out of your class but this guy is fighting out of his species.”
What was the name of the episode in which one of the littler kids gets trapped (in a box? I don’t remember) and Spanky says, ‘See what you get for being smart?’
“I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn’t it be much worse if life were fair and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them. So now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe.” -Marcus Cole, Babylon 5
My two favourites of all time, almost guaranteed to turn on the waterworks:
From “Return of the King” - “My friends. You bow to no one.”
From “Brokeback Mountain” - “Jack, I swear…”
Sob.
Milton Buddle (Stephen Root) in Office Space: “I believe you have my staper.” The metaphorical implications are just so profound.
Even better:
“You see, Bob, it’s not that I’m lazy… it’s that I just don’t care.”
Peter Gibbons (Ron Livingston) in the same movie.
In “The Stuntman”
Sam the Scriptwriter: “I had a virgin once. Had to go to Guatamala for it. She was blind in one eye and had a stuffed aligator that said ‘Welcome to Miami Beach.’”
Best end line of all time comes from “Some Like It Hot.”
Jack Lemmon: “We can’t get married because I’m a man.”
Joey Brown: “Well,… nobodys perfect.”
The name of that short was “Forgotten Babies” (1933). Spanky is in charge of a bunch of little kids; one is a small girl who climbs on a chair, apparently to open an upper cabinet. Spanky says, “Well, it’s good enough for you. That’s what you get for being smart!”
This episode is more memorable because of the little kid who keeps saying, “Remarkable!”