Your latest weird dream, vol. 11ty-7

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Last night I had a dream that I and someone else (I don’t remember who) were kidnapped while in the middle of dinner. We were held somewhere for three long days, but managed to escape eventually when they weren’t watching us closely enough. After a long meandering walk, we ended back at the restaurant, and for some reason both the manager and the cops were already there waiting for us. They asked us what happened, and I was mostly focused on how upset I was that my kidnappers had taken my socks. Much as they would in real life, the cops weren’t interested in my socks. The manager wasn’t really interested either. When I woke up I was still trying to explain how upsetting the sock issue was.

As dreams go, that’s pretty odd, and I wonder why my biggest concern was stolen socks.

So…what weird things did you dream lately?

2

I dreamt that I had to take a test for some reason, and it was a bunch of word puzzles that were just apocalyptically convoluted and impossible to understand. Like, Lewis Carroll weird… “If twenty maids with 20 brooms swept the shore for half a year, how long would it take for an elephant to fly to Zanzibar?” and I’m thinking, “I’m gonna have to drop this class…”

I dreamed up five or six questions and they just kept getting weirder and weirder.

3

Latest Marvel Cinematic Universe movie, they had Magneto—which apparently took a lot of negotiation, and they had to give him a different background and, I think, not explicitly call him by that name, or something silly like that—and they cast…Kevin Sorbo. Sporting a beard. Kind of burly and brutish, too.

It also featured an original (kind of a Green Lantern ripoff, actually) superhero/antihero played by…Prince. Consisting of some footage they shot before he died, bulked out with a LOT of CGI. It actually turned out pretty decent…except now Marvel had this hit new character they’d spent a lot of money on that it was impractical to use again, as-is.

The Punisher was in it, too, but all I can remember is that they did something really stupid with him—like really horribly miscast, or they cast a too-old actor to play him as a young man (or vice-versa), or they killed him off in the first act, or some combination of all of those.

4

I had a dream last night where my FIL died. For some reason (in the dream) I was in full-blown meltdown mode after hearing the news, crying like a child. IRL I’m sure that won’t happen.

The weirdest part of the dream though was when his will was read he had given all my stuff–my car, my book collection, some antiques I inherited from my grandparents–to my sons and my nephew. I was left with nothing. No idea what happened to his stuff, his will simply gave my stuff away. :confused::confused:

5

Last week I dreamt that my graduate institution called and told me they were rescinding my degree because I hadn’t actually passed college algebra (ca. 1996). Classic stress dream for me!

Not mine, but I found this very funny: this week my BFF fell asleep while reading a novel about a 1950s Chinese family. She dreamt that she went to their house and made everyone grilled cheese sandwiches, then proceeded to the town square and mixed giant vats of Kool-Aid in old-fashioned butter churns and handed beverages out to all the village folk. Nothing vaguely like these events occur in the novel. I also have “fall asleep while reading and dream weird plot extensions” that are pretty odd.

6

All of my dreams are weird. Last night’s was a doozy.

I walked into a church service. It was some kind of megachurch, with a huge sanctuary, multiple clergy-people, and the congregants sitting in a mix of theater seats and cafe-style tables. I wasn’t particularly interested in the service, so I started mending the suit jacket I had brought with me. While I was working on the jacket, someone sitting nearby said, “I’ll bet you don’t have anything like this back home!” I informed him that we certainly have churches where I live, although big ones like this are usually an evangelical Protestant thing.

Eventually the assorted clergy and various other important people walked around the sanctuary in a procession and the service ended. Not wanting to attend the post-service events, I saw myself out and headed upstairs (did I mention the sanctuary was in the basement?).

I wandered around the upstairs part of the building for a while. My pants just didn’t feel right, and I realized I was wearing a skirt suit (I have no problem with skirts on men, but I, personally, do not have the legs to pull it off). It was obviously a poor quality suit, as the fashion fabric separated from the lining and I was reduced to wearing the lining while carrying the rather nice wool fabric that had been the outside of my clothing.

I found an exit and wandered onto the lawn. There were dogs on the lawn, except they weren’t dogs, they were Pokemon the size of ponies. I had to go back inside to evolve an additional Pokemon to fight them. My Pokemon prevailed, but the victory caused it to become aggressive, so I went back in to get *another *Pokemon to deal with my first one. The second Pokemon beat the first one, but it was sufficiently weakened by the battle to be non-threatening. I left it on the lawn, consuming the glowing remains of the other ones.

There was some additional weirdness involving a blue man and getting locked in a tower, but I don’t remember enough detail to recount it. I know I got out of the tower and remembered to lock the door behind me.

I’ve always had vivid, memorable dreams, but they’ve gotten worse since I started taking beta blockers to control migraine. My neurologist tells me dreaming is poorly understood, and that we don’t know if our memories of dreams are really memories of the dream itself, or the brain’s attempts to make sense of whatever weird shit happened after the fact. At least most of my dreams are no longer scary, just bizarre.

7

I normally don’t remember my dreams, but every now and then I do. Last night was one of those nights. I dreamt that a co-worker retired and built a new restaurant where he was the head chef. A friend of mine and I decided to go and check it out. We arrive in the parking lot and find out that there is a path we have to follow to get to the restaurant, which couldn’t be seen from the lot. We start walking and soon discover that the path is several miles long, but we continue on and finally arrive and have a wonderful meal. My co-worker comes out and greets us. We remark that the walk is so long, that we would probably be hungry before we get half way back to the lot… He smiled and said that was the whole idea for the restaurant, it would create instant repeat business! Of course it made perfect sense in the dream.

When I woke up, it was, WTH?

8

Oh, I had a cool one. I was a master swordsman, terribly wounded, with intricate prosthetics replacing my legs and left arm, a lacquered mask hiding my scarred face. I was traveling through an ancient China/Japan mashup to reach the distant mountains where I hoped to be restored, fighting bandits and monsters with a switchblade sword that I could wield in my remaining hand.

9

Had one of my cinematic-style dreams last night, the kind where I’m not actually present in the dream, but just a passive observer.

This one was about a bunch of kids all having to move at once from a small town to “the city” (really just a somewhat larger town) and everyone at their new school trying to adjust to the change. There was a musical number that included the kids traveling on a stylized map and arriving in their new classrooms.

Then the focus shifted to one of the transplant kids–who was sort of an outsider at his old school–trying to make friends with an outgroup kid at the new place, who wore a sort of stocking cap that hid his whole face and seemed to blend into the shapeless green sweater he always wore. There was a sequence with a stalled bus, which led to outsider-kid’s father giving hat-kid a ride home.

As soon as hat-kid was dropped off, however, there was a plot twist. The perspective pulled back to a long-range shot of someone watching the kid turn and duck through some bushes into a park; the heretofore silent watcher commented, “Looks like he’s going for the manuscript. I didn’t think he’d come so far.” In the middle of the park, hat-kid got jumped by several larger kids, who pinned him down and began beating him. Then outsider-kid showed up, holding hat-kid’s backpack, and laid into them. With a handy stick and the element of surprise, he managed to chase them off.

As he went to help hat-kid up, he noticed that the hat was torn and dragged askew, and got his first look at hat-kid’s face and was shocked by whatever he saw. I don’t know what it was, though, because that’s when I woke up. (I have a vague feeling that it was that hat-kid’s face was identical to his own, but I’m not sure.)

10

My weird dream was nothing so dramatic. I think my eyes must have been itching.

In my dream I kept checking my eyes in the mirror. You know how you can get an eyelash trapped between your lower eyelid and your eye? Well, I had 50 or something or each side. I’d get them all cleaned out, go back and look and there would be another giant wad of them. A couple rounds of that and I decided to wake up and leave that dream behind me.

11

That stuck me as being really funny! It led me to envision a skit where the greedy family members show up for the reading of the rich uncle’s will, each on edge wondering who will get what goodies, only to have their own stuff given away. I’d watch that!

12

With old age, my dream patterns have changed a lot in the past few years. A couple of nights ago, I woke up, aware that I was fully awake, with my eyes open in the dark room, an my dream will still running visually. I was seeing a block of text and I was actually able, consciously, to read about half the words, but the rest were either garbled or nonsensical. The video continued to run for maybe 10 seconds. Very quickly after fully waking, I was no longer able to remember any of the words. It wasn’t a meaningful composition, but just a long series of words, maybe about ten lines, 80 words or so, all separated by commas.

13

You must have been playing that new Pokemon Go virtual reality game before bed.

14

What I do before going to bed, or even all the day, never, ever has any influence on what I dream.

15

Last night I dreamed I was still alive.

16

A few days ago I had a particularly vivid and disturbing dream.

Back 20-25 years ago in Philly I got into a fight with a black girl over some shit (I’m a white guy, btw) and I end up killing her. It was determined that it was a case of self-defense, as the girl had a police record full of violent confrontation. Nevertheless, I have had half a lifetime being blamed for getting away with murder, because of the violence against women/white-on-black backlash.

No actual action in this dream, just the guilty vibe.

17

I had a brief dream yesterday, while napping during a heavy rain storm. I could hear the rain through my sleep, and I dreamed that instead of raining water it was raining shrimp. I was yelling at people to run outside and catch the shrimp before they all washed down into the sewers.

18

Here’s how boring my dreams have been lately. Last night I dreamt that my coworker was asking me for gas money for driving to the restaurant for lunch the other day. The whole conversation was me saying I’ll just drive next time and him saying we should pay each other for gas money when we drive. So asinine.

19

What in the world did you snack on before bed?? :wink:

20

That’s funny. He showed up in my weird dream the other night, too!

I was dreaming that my husband and I were getting married (or renewing our vows, I guess) in grand style at a huge, gaudy Trump resort. We were both wearing haute couture and were getting our photos taken by paparazzi after the ceremony. But I couldn’t find him at the reception, which it turned out that I had screwed up in the planning a thousand different ways. I had forgotten to hire a bartender, and everyone was bitching about being thirsty. There weren’t enough chairs. The wedding cake had been broken up and was being distributed as individual parfaits, but the caterer had also gotten lost after handing out a dozen or so.

Also, for whatever reason, I was having an art show at the same time in the reception ballroom…so while I’m trying to greet guests, and also figure out where key people had wandered off too, I also was getting handed money for paintings and I couldn’t make change. Then the piped-in music cut off, and I realized that I had ALSO forgotten to hire a DJ. So I shouted to everyone to relax and enjoy the buffet, while I hunted down my husband, etc, in the resort.

I went to the elevator, but when I stepped in, it turned out to be a giant, spiral, inflatable slide. I was desperately trying not to puncture it (or other sliders) with my stiletto heels, and also keep my gown from riding up. Finally I ended up in a huge lobby/mezzanine area that also happened to be part of O’Hare airport. There was some nonsense about checking terminals to see if my husband had left early for our honeymoon. And then I heard a male voice calling down to me from above. I look up with a grin, because I thought I had found my husband, but it was Prince with an entourage. He told me that he had heard about my lack of music at the reception, and he and his crew would be by shortly to provide the music. :cool:

Then the dream degenerated into “I need to find a bathroom, but they’re all occupied/disgusting.” At some point, I tripped over my train over a section of balcony in which the railing was missing, and fell several stories with my dress billowing around me like a failed parachute. I landed safely in some potted plants, said “Fuck this noise,” and woke up. Starving, thirsty, desperately needing to pee, and slightly pissed off because I never got to hear dream Prince. :smiley: