A gigantic (at least a foot tall and a foot in diameter) flowered tea cup and saucer. Mom thoought it would “look cute” with a plant in it on my deck next summer.
Nope. My dad and his wife (who has extremely kitchy taste).
No one’s fault and I absolutely appreciated the thought; but, I received a book that I had literally just finished reading, having checked it out from the library. It’s still in the pile of to-be-returned (luckily, on the bottom!)
One bag of Ghirardelli Chocolate. Come on, people. Everybody I work with knows I’m losing weight. What were you thinking?
But I am sitting here wearing pants that are one size smaller. 
A gift for someone that weighs 550 pounds.
I’ve seen them in the garden center of Walmart. Perhaps you can get a gnome to set in the cup and make it look like a Disney ride for gnomes.
A bright green Scooby Doo t-shirt. I don’t wear bright colored shirts and I detest Scooby Doo. I’ll see if someone will give me 99 cents for it on eBay.
I hate to be ungrateful. Really, I do. I mean, our friends invited us over for Christmas Day when they heard we weren’t seeing my side until the 26th.
It’s just that we didn’t find out until we arrived there that their 3-year-old daughter had a nasty cold. Her nose was running constantly. And, of course, she doesn’t know/remember to cover her mouth and nose when she sneezes. Which she did at least once in the kitchen amongst all the uncovered food.
Apparently my husband and I hadn’t encountered that virus recently, because now we’re both very sniffly and coughing slightly, and my throat is sore as hell. Thanks, little girl! :smack:
You can probably find a projectile vomiting accessory to make it more lifelike 
Your mother sounds exactly like my grandmother. From the time I was a young child to the time she passed away when I was twenty one, she inundated our family with piles of terrible gifts, because, as she said, “This is my last Christmas.”
Due to the Secret Santa nature of our gift exchange this year, I did not receive any terrible gifts. We all had a $50 limit and my sister bought my gifts. She got me a variety of cheap and fun items. This is the first year everybody did not buy for everybody else. Terrible gifts usually come from the direction of my uncle. I even started a thread about it last year.
Too bad it’s from your stepmom and dad - if it was from your fiance’s side of the family you could make up some BS about how ice cream is bad for cats and the picture reminds you of a friend’s cat who got feline leukemia from dairy products and it was all so terrible and sad that you can’t see the plaque without thinking of your friend’s cat who had feline leukemia… etc.
Heck, maybe you can use the story anyway.
Nothing too horrible this year. Probably the oddest was a pot holder, but I can always use new potholders.
As God is my witness, kids love the Snuggie. My son (age 12) asked for and received a Snuggie and loves the blame thing. Sits in his room in his beanbag chair wrapped up in the Snuggie, reading. I am sure it is entirely coincidental that he has, tucked away somewhere, his infant blanket that I at one time dubbed the Snuggie.
Since the Snuggies were introduced I have been trying, unsuccessfully, to think of some reason why I should have full credit for the Snuggie name. shakes fist at sky
First of all, I drink maybe two cups of coffee per YEAR…anybody who cares to notice would see me drinking mostly Diet Coke or bottled water. Period.
So, once again this year, I get a gift certificate to Starbucks from my “boss” at work.
Oddly, it seems every place I have ever worked, I get a damned gift certificate from Starbucks. Yes, I know I can go buy a cookie or something - but really, why give a gift certificate for a coffee place to the guy you NEVER see drinking coffee?
Oh well - years ago I had a friend buy me a watch and said, “because I noticed you never wear a watch.”
Uh, what would be your first clue that I don’t like wearing watches? Maybe the fact that I never wear one, have never worn a watch since I was about 10 years old and, even though I once worked at a jewelry store, I have never bought a watch?
My brother gives me good coffee. Stuff he’s sure I’ll like. I know he puts forth effort every time.
I have never tasted a coffee I like more than Folgers Instant. Okay maybe I have, but it’s just as easy for me to heat some water on the stove in the morning and shovel a spoon full of instant in. I don’t even own a coffee maker.
He made up for it though, with a really nice wood block and knife set so I really cannot complain.
Somewhere in the Threadspotting archive, there is a thread about Christmas present horrors that make the Snuggies and cat plaques look positively thoughtful. The “winner” had gotten an old pair of skidmarked ladies underwear from (IIRC) a mentally unstable relative. The runner-up asked his mom for some financial assistance, and got a box full of play money with a note telling him to get a job.
I once shared an ice cream cone with my cat. I didn’t turn it into a plaque, though.
You can also get CDs there. Sometimes good ones.
It sounded good. Bath brush. Mmmm.
Okay: Wooden handle, all-natural boar bristles. Bath brush. It said so.
Yet, as soon as I got it wet, approximately 1/8 of the bristles fell out. In the tub, on my back, etc.
So I guess by “bath brush” they meant “something to hang in the bathroom.” Considering the person who gave it to me, that makes sense.
I saw this very cool Snuggie with a skelington motif at Spencers. I kinda want one!
I love reading. Sci fi specifically, a subject my mother is completely ignorant of. So she got me a book, that was in the sci fi/fantasy section, and it must be good because its on the bestseller list, right?
She got me Twilight.
>_<
Thanks ma.
My grandmother got me a shoehorn, as well, which made me 0_o. I don’t even have dress shoes of any sort, and I’m still quite capable of bending over, tyvm.
Brilliant! Why didn’t I think of a teacup ride tableau? Just too, too precious.