Do we share the same parent?
I’ve dealt with this very same phenomena pretty much my entire adult life.
The highlight of dealing with it is my husbands response one year to her saying,
" I won’t be here next year."
" Oh, where you going? On vacation?"
I fell off my chair laughing.
Yanno, it is pretty difficult to find shoehorns nowadays. For reasons I cannot fully remember, I was on a Quest for a Shoehorn several years ago. Maybe it had something to do with putting baby feet into shoes in the winter time, I cannot recall. When it became apparent that they are hard to find like (insert cultural reference here) I became maniacal possessed to find a shoehorn. I found one, possibly used it twice and it now hangs in our garage near other tools.
A wind up flashlight with cell phone charging capability, which doesn’t fit my phone. Courtesy of the Sheckstress.
It’s worthless because of the other 4 flashlights I received this year. And it doesn’t work on her phone either.
As I bemoaned in the Holiday Rant thread, I received a Toe Mater (from Cars) talking stocking. That topped my list of stupid gifts received.
TheKid received a mauve wooden wall hangy thing that you display thimbles in. It has a heart cut out at the top - very country kitsch. TheKid is not country kitsch. She does not like mauve. She does not collect thimbles. She looked at it, looked at me, and whispered “garage sale”. She also received a musical snow globe with Nutcracker designs on it. She liked it, as she loves the Nutcracker. Unfortunately it plays “Let it Snow”. WTF?
The great aunt that gave her that stuff also received a total WTF gift for their dog. Their dog is very healthy. Yes, they lost two dogs last year due to age and medical issues, but this dog is the picture of health. Her sister in law gave her a box of things to make it easier to medicate animals - a doggy pill sorter, a doggy pill shooter, a kong kind of thing for pill delivery, and a few other things that they have absolutely no use for. Even the dog looked up with a WTF look on his face.
A sequined and beaded sweatshirt in an unflattering shade, 2 sizes larger than I wear. It’s too dowdy for a grandmother to wear, and of course, came sans tags or receipts (of course, what sort of craft show/flea market gear is returnable?).
I’d regift it but there’s no one I dislike that much.
I haven’t received any worthless gifts this year so far, but we got one last year that I feel guilty about returning. My mother (who lives 180 miles away and has seen our house exactly once) had an electric snowblower delivered via QVC.
We live in a rowhouse. We have all of about eight feet of frontage and no driveway. And no exterior outlets. And no shed.
We would have had to store it in the basement, drag it (thwap!thwap!thwap!) up the stairs every time we wanted to use it, run the cord through a window to plug it in, for about 16 square feet of sidewalk. When we’ve really only been getting about two or three snowstorms that actually require major snow removal per year.
We explained why we were returning it so she could be refunded, and she understood, but I still feel guilty.
My fiancee got a lacy silk babydoll thing that will probably cover her to about an inch below the crotch, and a matching g-string.
From her mother. In an unmarked box… which she was expected to open in front of the entire family, including grandma and grandpa and mom and dad and her uncle. Which she did.
Now, I’m fairly comfortable with her family, but they’re relatively conservative and I’m certainly not comfortable talking to them about sleeping with their not-yet-married daughter, even though (and neither is she).
We spent the rest of Christmas not making eye contact with anyone at all.
I didn’t look at it too closely, but I’m pretty sure there are two panels which untie to reveal the nipples.
I found the used underwear thread, but apparently the box full of fake money was in a different one.
I got a gas card, and have no car ATM. I also got a $50 iTunes gift card and have no iPod, nor do I ever use my mp3 player for anything other than podcasts.
My daughters, knowing how I quietly miss having male-oriented toys (like slot car racing sets), bought me a Batman radio controlled helicopter. Unfortunately, it doesn’t actually fly - apparently it just tools around the floor with the rotors spinning.
I got a fondue pot that is kept warm with a tea light. No directions on how to warm the chocolate/cheese/etc although the sticker on the bottom informed us the container is microwave/oven/dishwasher safe.
The sticker *directly above *where the tealight candle heats the pot.
A gravy strainer. We eat mostly vegetarian, so this will be useful once a year at best, assuming we have Thanksgiving at our house, which is rare.
Is the tea light holder large enough to hold a sterno can? I’ve never heard of a fondue pot warmed by a tea light!
Nope - it’s just for a tea light. I strongly suspect you are supposed to microwave/oven melt the fondue and then the tea light is merely to keep it from totally chilling.
I actually do enjoy fondue - but y’know, at a fondue restaurant like The Melting Pot.
My wife and I got matching electronic memo recorders for our keychains. You know, you press Record and say “Get milk on the way home from work” and then when you leave work you press Play and your keychain says “Get milk on the way home from work.” Like I have all these great ideas and insights and grocery lists that I am always forgetting and like my phone doesn’t have the exact same application anyway, if I wanted to use it, which I don’t, and Mom what were you thinking?
Only the trained eye can see the subliminal message that is implanted in these commercials saying: “YOUR KIDS WANT THIS!”
Our parents are brainwashed . . .
An Olympic top.
Y’know, for the Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics?
It’s nice, really. White with red and stuff, but has these 3 Olympic crest thingys on it. Not really me. On several fronts, I will stain the white in a heartbeat, I never where labeled/logoed items, I’m not into sports. WTF? And, I’m pretty sure, it wasn’t cheap. Now he’s starting to ask why I haven’t worn it yet, sigh!
He got this from his sister, who raised two sons, who were very into labels/logos, and huge into sports. Every Olympic year she’d buy him, (her bro, my SO), something as well. And he bought his nephew a nice, insulated, black vest, with only a small Olympic symbol on the breast.
It’s just not me, is the thing.
Also, on the Olympic front, he did manage to buy me the right sized, knitted, red Olympic mittens. Very nice, insulated with Insulite, lined with fleece, maple leafs on the palms, Olympic rings and the year over the knuckles. They were sold out all over the city, so I don’t know how he quite managed that. But I am loving them!
Of course I also got a trashcan, (stainless, step on, for the kitchen), and an ashcan (large, lidded, for the woodstove), which, while good for teasing him, is actually what we needed for the house. That was our arrangement, so they are great.
A sweatshirt with ugly Christmas cats embroidered on it. Yes, I like cats, but that doesn’t mean that I will like any item you buy for me as long as it has a cat on it.
I hear ya. My kitchen used to be green and white checks with apples. Suddenly anything with apples on it was the “perfect” gift for me.
And even though I left my country kitsch phase far, far, far, FAR behind me – I still get them.
I got one of those digital photo keyrings from my (now-)fiancee back when you could only get them at Brookstone and they were expensive.
Even then I already had a phone with a bigger screen and about fifty times the memory capacity.
This does not detract from the fact that she normally buys wonderful gifts.