My WTFuckiest gift this year: a pelican figurine, enameled in rainbow colors and accented with rhinestones, with a secret compartment in its back. Actually, once the first …surprise had subsided, I decided it was pretty funny and decided to keep it out in plain sight on my work desk. I might keep ibuprofen tablets in it. 
Nothing really “worthless”, lessen you count the throw given me by “Julian” which I will use when “Bert” (The family heat giver/leecher) deserts my feet for D’s.!
Ahem.
Q
You MUST post a picture of this.
For us it was a gift for my 6yo. A bubble gum making kit. First, this is the kind of present that is actually a punishment for the adults in the house, but I was willing to overlook that. However, the kit (shipped from the retailer) had at least one piece missing, and the bubblegum flavor/color powder that is pictured on Amazon as bright pink was gray, and it tasted like fresh sawed wood. I’m guessing it was sitting in a warehouse for ten years.
The same folks got our 22 month old a toy labeled “3+” with small pieces.
Oh, and I have to say, this description was like a humor bomb that kept going off. Name plaque - chuckle . . . what your personality is, based on your name - guffaw . . . two kittens - laughing steadily . . . sharing a sundae - fall out of chair laughing.
And be afraid, **Antigen **- we got several wedding gifts we couldn’t even identify!
This reminds me of my best friend’s wedding. The day after, before they left on their honeymoon, I went over to her parents’ house to watch her and her husband open wedding gifts. She got to one from a distant uncle who lived in Hawaii and her mom was going on and on about how wealthy he was and what a fabulous present he must have gotten them. Pam (my friend) opened it and found a decorative plate with a horribly painted humpback whale on it. We laughed so hard that we cried and her mother was seriously offended. She was certain that the plate must be extremely valuable - which she maintains to this day. We got such a kick out of it that it’s still prominently displayed in all its hideous glory 20 years later…
A Microsoft wireless optical mouse from my father.
What’s that you say? That’s a pretty good gift?
Yes, it would be, for someone who hasn’t WORKED FOR MICROSOFT FOR THE LAST EIGHTEEN YEARS.
Not only can I can get one from the Company Store for about five bucks, or rather for free from the giant box of unused ones that are in our lab, but I have regularly, since 1992, bought all members of my family discounted MS software and hardware as gifts.
Thanks for remembering all those little niggling details about my life, Dad!
I’m afraid I’ve gotten nothing bad this year.
I even made out like a bandit at the white elephant exchange at work.
But I just had to come in to point and laugh at everyone that got Snuggies[SUP]TM[/SUP]
My mother in law gets such weird things for me ( a salad magnet, a tin whistle (I was 43 at the time), Chocolate tools, three, count them three gravy boats) for Christmas that “What did your mother in law get you this year” is my mother’s Christmas greeting. Well, I got a gnochi board. Gnochi are potato dumplings/pasta that you make from a dough that you roll out into a snake like play doh, then cut into bite size pieces. Traditionally, you take each piece and roll them down the tines of a fork with your thumb. that puts a small dent in one side and lines in the other, both of which hold sauce really well. I made them for my mother-in-law when she visited. So for Christmas, I open a package and get what looks like a 4" x 2.5" fraternaty paddle with grooves cut into it. I paniced because the front of the package didn’t say what it was so I couldn’t say, “Nice _________” and put it to the side. I looked at it, dropped all pretense and just said, “OK, I haven’t a clue.” I then turned the package around and saw “Gnochi board” and said, “Oh, thanks Mom”
My dad gets bonus points for the snuggie he got for Christmas. His has a pickture of Tom Skilling (Chicago weatherman) on it with the phrase “Chilling with Skilling” written on it. From my sister.
If you were my kid I’d buy you something for a Mac
I must be the only person who actually wants a Snuggie.
Purely for comedic value.
Heh. I work for the MacBU.
Bad language, but funny parody: WTF Blanket.
Apparently they’re all the rage among high school students, who actually wear them to school. This from my friend Pam (the one with the whale plate) who had to go out and actually purchase one at the behest of her freshman son. Keep in mind that this is in Houston and I’m not even sure that it gets cold enough for “Snuggie Weather.”
I honestly, truly, want one. But I’d rather have a Slanket. I wrap myself in multiple blankets when I watch movies. Having a Slanket sounds easier.
We have a family friend (I’ll call him ‘Bill’, prolly cuz his name is Bill. . .) who grew up poor, and even though he’s now in his 60s, doesn’t have a bunch of money. So he accumulates stuff, then gives it to people.
A couple of weeks ago, a box arrived for me and mudgirl (soon to be 10); among her stuff was a denim shoulder bag that had $50.00 in cash in it, so that was cool. But also among her stuff was some costume jewelry that was definitely more geared towards a woman of 65+. . .and in my ‘stuff’ was a couple sets of tacky salt and pepper shakers.
I really do appreciate the thought. But I don’t have any need at all for salt and pepper shakers (I don’t even use a pepper shaker; I have a pepper mill!) shaped like milking cans!
From my family, though, I only received one gift. Usually my hubby gets me one large-ish gift, plus a couple of smaller ones ‘from the kids’. This year, though, he spent so much money on my major one that it was from all of them. . .a Tanzanite and diamond bracelet (6.5ct of Tanzanite, .75ct of diamonds) set in 14k gold, that he just labeled it to me from everyone. . . Tanzanite is my fave stone. I’m looking at it right now.
He done good.
Don’t know what I’ll do with the salt and pepper shakers, though. . .probably donate them to the place across the street that gives away household-type stuff on Thursdays.
A Slanket sounds like a Snuggie that has lower moral standards…like it will sleep with anyone or something.
Snuggies are all the rage in my call center. If it gets chilly, just throw it on.
Me? I have a jacket.
From my beloved grandmother I received…a box set of a nativity scene.
Yes, many wonderful tiny plastic figurines - Joseph, Mary, the baby Jesus - even a wonderful plastic manger that I could erect them all in.
Perhaps I could stage a nice little crèche outside my condo.
/I’m a 28 year old man
//Man, I hates me the cloying crap they sell to the faithful
I felt a bit bad about throwing it away, then I thought - “Jesus would want this. This has nothing whatsoever to do with him. This thing is a fucking abomination.”
When I saw “Slanket”, I just had to start Googling… which brought me to this.
Yes, it’s a side-by-side comparison of the various products all competing for their slice of the “TV-watching accessories for people without central heating” market. Best line:
And your link brought me to this! Arrrrrrggggg, me hearties! Surly must have despite her pink Christmas Snuggie!
I can’t really call it worthless because it’s kind of hilarious: my best friend sent me a Light Up Googly Worm .